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Chris Brown Proudly Announces That He OWNS Rihanna During Misogynist Nightclub Rant!

chris brown pussy mine

Just when you think Chris Brown's recent behavior couldn't get any more deplorable…

Off he goes again, reminding us all what a clASS act he truly is!

As we've reported, it's been a tough week for the volatile singer, who abandoned his longtime bodyguard in Bermuda following a disagreement and then started a fight with a valet during a charity event over a $10 service fee!

Then, of course, there was Wednesday evening's stunt at the Emerson Theatre in Hollywood, when he ripped the microphone from the "woman DJ" and slammed Drake before segueing into a self-indulgent mini-concert of his own hits!

Sadly, we wish we could say that was all the nonsense Breezy got himself up to, but now, new reports have surface that claim that during that very same evening, he once again hijacked the microphone to explain to the audience advice on how to keep your woman faithful…because it's apparently effective when dealing with Rihanna!

He announced:

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The TSA Is Going To Allow Small Pocket Knives On Planes!

Filed under: Wacky, Tacky & TrueEtc.

tsa knives pocket small lifted ban prohibited blocked flying plane danger dangerous stabby

If you're one of those people that likes to carry a small pocket knife because it becomes super handy a few times a month, but always forgets to take it out of your pocket before you go to the airport, we have good news for you!

On the other hand, if you're someone who's afraid of being stabbed with a small pocket knife while flying thousands of feet in the air, you should probably be sitting for this:

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Purple Jesus Says NO To His Son Playing Football!

Filed under: Baby BlabberZportzFootballDanger!

adrian peterson purple jesus football son no sport dangerous injuries

Adrian Peterson is a fantastic football player for the Minnesota Vikings. He wears purple. He's so good, that people liken him to Jesus.

Thus, he is the Purple Jesus! LOLz!

Anyway, he's one the greatest running backs of all time, and yet he says he's never going to let his son play football!!

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Colorado Rockies Star Todd Helton BUSTED For DUI

Filed under: Legal MattersBusted!BaseballAlcohol

todd helton

Todd Helton is the first baseman for the Colorado Rockies.

He was just arrested for a DUI this morning. He looks like he was either way plastered or pretty embarrassed in his mugshot (above).

The cops said he was cooperative which we're sure made things better for everyone.

A rep for the Rockies released a statement saying:

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Robert Downey Jr. Blasts Us With Iron Man 3 Spoilers!

Robert Downey Jr Blasts Us With Iron Man 3 Spoilers

Robert Downey Jr. isn't exactly known for his discretion. And this time we are totally the beneficiaries!

The Avengers star tries to talk about ramping up the action in Iron Man 3 and can't help but tip his armored hand and give away some surprises! He says:

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Vomit Virus Makes Its Way To The U.S.

Filed under: HealthSick

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As if flu season wasn't enough…

The CDC announced that there is a new strain of norovirus running rampant across the globe… and it's made its way to the good ol' U.S. of A!

The new "GII 4 Sydney" strain of the virus has caused over 140 outbreaks in the U.S. since September!

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Kendra Wilkinson Wants Your Beautiful Asses To Snack Right!

Filed under: Kendra WilkinsonFoodHealthBodySex

kendra wilkinson snacks mom playboy bunny sexy body

Kendra Wilkinson is a beautiful Playboy Bunny, and also a health-conscious mommy!

She's also bitingly smart, and knows how to take care of her body — you have to, with those kinds of credentials!

So, when she wants to give us advice on ANYTHING health related, we listen, and we listen hard… and today, she's dropping knowledge bombz on us about snacking!

Here's what she says:

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