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Real Housewives of New Jersey Breaking News: Danielle Staub WILL Return And We're All Gonna Die

Danielle Staub gif

Up is down, down is up — This defies the laws of physics!

We don't understand how or why (okay, we kinda understand why) this has happening, but new reports claim Danielle Staub WILL RETURN to the cast of Real Housewives of New Jersey!

A show insider reveals:

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Danielle Staub Will NOT Be Returning To Real Housewives Of New Jersey!

danielle-staub-not-returning-to-real-housewives-of-new-jersey

Phew!

Talk about dodging one HELLUVA bullet!

While ex-Real Housewives of New Jersey castmember Danielle Staub - who was fired in 2010 following two, ahem, 'volatile' seasons - revealed recently that she had met with Bravo exec Andy Cohen about possibly RETURNING to reality series, sources close to the network have confirmed that there is NO WAY she'll find herself back in Franklin Lakes!

Insiders reveal that while Cohen

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Stop The Panini Press! Danielle Staub To Make RHONJ Return?!

Filed under: TV NewsReal HousewivesReality TV

Danielle Staub Real Housewives New Jersey Return

Somehow, somewhere, we hear Teresa Giudice exclaiming, “are you freakin’ kidding me?!”

Soon, Tre might be finding herself in a Real Housewives Of New Jersey kwinka dinka conundrum!

The infamous ex RHONJ cast member, Danielle Staub, was caught in NYC yesterday… after a meeting with her former Bravo boss, Andy Cohen!!!

Holy shiz! Speak of the devil Danielle!

And just when we thought the show couldn’t get anymore full of dramz after this season's reunion special!!!

About the sitdown, Mz. Staub revealed:

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Danielle Staub Files For Bankruptcy!

danielle staub lollipop bankruptcy

She's finally hit the rock bottom of money woes! But at least she's taking responsibility!!

Danielle Staub, formerly known as one of the Real Housewives of New Jersey, used to brag about having one of those fancy black American Express cards… and now she's filed for bankruptcy!

With 35 creditors listed, her petition puts her assets in the

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Danielle Staub Got $7,000 For Giving Advice Over The Phone??

Danielle Staub Phone

Not bad, Danielle Staub!

Could this be the newest celeb fad — taking calls from fans and dishing out advice for a price??

Turns out a new service called Dial A Star, which is super uninspiring for a title, connect fans with celebs like

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Hey Z-Listers! People Will PAY To Talk To You!

dial-a-z-lister-website

So this is where Z-listers' careers go to wither away and die!

Oh wait, they actually seem to be festering!

Apparently, 'celebrities' like Danielle Staub, Jersey Shore's Staten Island dump Angelina Pivarnick, Charlie Sheen's call-girl Capri Anderson, the one that got away from Hugh Hefner, Crystal Harris, Octo-mom, Dina and Michael Lohan, and of course, Tila Tequila, now work for a website called Dial-A-Star.com, which allows their fans the opportunity to speak with them - for anywhere between $10-20 per MINUTE!

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Danielle Staub Is Free To Keep Her Clothes On! Judge Rules In Her Favor In Scores Lawsuit!

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Break out the paninis and champagne! It's time to celebrate Danielle Staub's victory!

Now, some of you might not remember who Danielle is. Let's refresh your memory:

PROSTITUTION WHORE! *Tables fly! Books fly! Save the booze!*

All coming back to you, right?

Well, after her stint on Real Housewives of New Jersey, Danielle took her talents back to her former stomping grounds: a strip club. About a year ago, she signed with Scores to make several appearances for the club, but ended up in hot water with them after they claimed she didn't live up to her contractual obligations.

The nasty lawsuit has

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