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Michael Lohan: Lindsay Is DOOMED! Calls New Lawyer A 'Sleezebag'!

Michael Lohan: Lindsay Is DOOMED!

You know how we feel about Lindsay Lohan's decision to fire her personal superhero/supernaturally talented attorney Shawn Holley, and replacing her with Mark "My law license was suspended for 5 years" Heller.

But we're nowhere near as upset as Lilo's estranged daddy, Michael Lohan!

Upon learning the identity of Linds' new legal counsel, Mikey shouted… to the press:

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Lindsay Lohan Wants To Know Why Will.i.am Didn't Ask Her To Be On His New Album!

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What?!

will.i.am prevented a possible masterpiece from being made by choosing NOT to include Lindsay Lohan as a collaborator on his upcoming solo album?

BLASPHEMY! LOLz!

But yes, the back-to-work actress revealed that she was not asked by The Black Eyed Peas member to lend her vocal stylingz to #willpower, and jokingly confronted him about it at his recent album listening party!

However, gurlfriend admitted:

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Lindsay In Negotiations For Dancing With The Stars?!

Filed under: TV NewsLindsay LohanReality TV

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Oh boy. The rumors might actually be true!

Sources close to Lindsay Lohan are confirming that she is in negotiations to be a contestant on the upcoming season of Dancing With The Stars, in hopes that it will help rehabilitate her career!

And the Betty Ford Center is apparently behind her 100%!

The insider explains:

“Lindsay has been talking with the DWTS people. She is definitely interested and considering being on the show. Lindsay's treatment team thinks Dancing With the Stars would be a perfect transition back to work for her. She would have a set schedule everyday, would be occupied and would be very productive. Lindsay wanted their approval before proceeding in talks with the producers and she got it. Dancing with the Stars producers have had Lindsay on their wish list of cast mates for a very long time. Lindsay is working on a lot of projects; she’s got a lot of positive things going on right now. She would be great on the show; she could maybe even win because she is a great dancer!”

Can you even IMAGINE the ratings that show would pull in if she even only appeared in one episode?!

We think a lot of people would be very curious to see how gurlfriend would do! And she's pretty much effed her career to the point where her only option is reality television, and this is a much better alternative to Celebrity Rehab!

We think she should do it! If only just to dance to her own nuanced classic - and one of our personal favorites - Confessions of a Broken Heart (Daughter to Father)!

Ha!

We kid, we kid!…but only sort of.

What do U think? Should LiLo strap on her dancing shoes??

[Image via Pacific Coast News Online.]

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It's Official! Michael Lohan Has Lost His Mind!

Filed under: Lindsay LohanMichael LohanSad Sad

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We don't know how the girl can make it any clearer. When will Michael Lohan understand that Lindsay doesn't want anything to do with him!

No, seriously, he doesn't care that she has sent him a cease and desist letter. He doesn't care that every time his name is mentioned to her, she spits out acid venom. He's decided that he is sticking this act of alleged parental concern out for as long as the media keeps reporting on it. And now, he's bringing the good times even closer to Lindsay's life.

We reported earlier this week that Michael intends to get a place in El Lay to be closer to his mealticket daughter. Well, he found a place - only 11 miles from where LiLo is currently residing!

Cue the restraining order!

Ugh! This is just so pathetic! He's just never going to learn!

[Image via WENN.]

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