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Four More Sign Up For Amanda Seyfried's Lovelace!

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Well, it seems like the cast of ONE Lindsay Lohan movie is rounding out nicely!

Lovelace, the Amanda Seyfried version of the Deep Throat actress, is miles ahead of the one to which Lindsay Lohan was once attached, with Peter Sarsgaard, Wes Bentley, Sharon Stone, and Juno Temple already signed on, and today, Hank Azaria, Bobby Cannavale, Chris Noth and Robert Patrick have also joined the cast!

Cannavale and Noth will reportedly portray the porno's financiers Butchie Peraino and Anthony Romano, while Azaria will play director Jerry Damiano. Meanwhile, Patrick will play her father!

With talent like this attached, should the other version even bother continuing on?!

Probably not!

Oh well!

[Images via WENN.]

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Lindsay Deep Throats A Lollipop

Filed under: Lindsay Lohan

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Really, Lindsay?? REALLY??

After a night of pAArtying at Voyeur nightclub, La Loca decided to demonstrate her method acting skills, in preparation for her role of porn star Linda Lovelace, by sucking on a cherry red lollipop. Really well!

She makes it look just so easy!!

[Image via WENN.]

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WTF? All The Gory Details Of Lindsanity's New Porn Star Movie HERE!

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Poor, delusional, cracked out Lindsanity LOLhan.

May we remind you of the story of poor Elizabeth Berkley Jessie Spano and Showgirls: just because something sounds really edgy and sexually explicit on page, does not mean it's going to win you an Oscar!

Some little sneak leaked the screenplay to the hard-pAArtying wacktress' latest film, Inferno, and although we already knew it was going to be pretty heinous shiz - it is of course, about the star of Deep Throat Linda Lovelace - the text goes above and BEYOND what we could ever have imagined!

In fact, we may be treading into Showgirls caliber crazy, folks!

The story chronicles the violent abuse Linda suffered as a child at the hands of her mother, who burns her with a cigarette lighter and beats the hell out of her. When she marries her husband/manager Chuck, it only worsens - to the point where he's FINGERING her while forcing her to insult herself. She orgasms while calling herself a piece of dog shit.

BLECK.

Of course, it only continues to worsen - there's numerous scenes involving Linda getting gangbanged (one even includes Sammy Davis Jr.), her sobbing while filming the infamous scene in Deep Throat, and even a scene where a group tries to force her to have sex with a dog!

HOLY SHIZ! WTF is this garbage?!

And if you're interested in some of the truly inspired dialogue La Loca will have to recite, here are some gems:

LINDA
To me, there is nothing more delicious than gism. I love it! I like to smear it all over my face like Ponds Cold Cream!

LINDA
I once took on a pro football team — and I don't just mean two at a time! I mean more!

LINDA
Is there anything in this life I like more than cocksucking? Okay. Well, one thing. On OCCASION.

PUSH IN for a the two beats of big build-up.

LINDA
I love it when my man Chuck socks it to me in the ass.

Yeah, absolutely nasty.

We suppose she thinks this will make people think of her as a serious young actress willing to go there for a role?

Poor thing! This movie is going to be such a trainwreck!

But let's be real - the only real way they can top Showgirls is if they give LiLo the same nipple make-up as Jessie Spano!

LOLz! Who wants to take bets that they do??!

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Lindsanity LIED To The Judge! Isn't Shooting Any Movies In Texas!

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What an effing moron!

Yesterday, Lindsanity LOLhan's lawyer, Shawn Chapman Holley, begged Judge Marsha Revel to not put a SCRAM bracelet on her client because it would hinder her ability to work on a new film in Texas.

The judge didn't buy it and stood her ground, and thank goodness she did!

We've just discovered that the wacktress isn't needed in Texas for EITHER of the two films she's currently attached to - Machete OR Inferno!

Apparently, there are a couple of additional scenes being shot in Texas for Machete, but a rep confirms "according to the director, they don't include [Lindsay]."

And, as we all know, Inferno hasn't even secured the rights to use the name Linda Lovelace or Deep Throat, isn't shooting until August - which is long after her July court hearing - and it's not being shot in Texas!

You'd think with all the people ready to call her out on her bullshiz, she'd STOP lying!

Well, maybe in her mind she's still a super successful actress! Just like she doesn't have a drug problem!

Barf.

Nice try, bb!

[Image via WENN.]

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What Exactly Is LiLo Promoting In Cannes?! Inferno Doesn't Have The Rights To Use Porn Star's Name!

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HA!

Are we even surprised?!

Lindsay Lohan has been running around rampant the past few weeks, promoting her glorious return to film in the much-speculated Inferno, where she reportedly will be playing Deep Throat porn star Linda Lovelace.

However, we've just gotten wind that the project is apparently not even CLOSE to getting off the ground yet, because the rights to use the name 'Linda Lovelace' have not even been secured!

When the notorious porn actress left the adult film business, the name remained behind, and is currently owned by the same company that owns Deep Throat - Arrow Productions.

Arrow's owner, Raymond Pistol, claims that the first he heard about the Lohan version was when news broke that she claimed to be a part of the project!

He says:

“There is no way you can make a film about Linda Boreman and sex and not go through me.”

His representatives have since reached out to the film's producers, and are apparently still negotiating about the rights.

So, LiLo, this prompts a question: If the film is still so early in its pre-production that the rights to the name Linda Lovelace haven't even been secured, why are you blowing off all your Alcohol Education classes to be in Cannes 'promoting' it??

Bwa ha ha. Nice try, bb! Have a drink on us!

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Michael Lohan Is Disgusted That Lindsay's Playing A Porn Star

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Big surprise - Father of the year Michael Lohan has something to say about Lindsay Lohan's new role as adult film star Linda Lovelace.

When asked if he thinks the role will hurt her career, he responded:

"Oh, I don't even want to go there! What do you think? Come on! Seriously - why? She did Parent Trap, Confessions [of a Teenage Drama Queen], Freaky Friday, Mean Girls, Just My Luck and Herbie. And you know what? Georgia Rule was a fantastic movie. People don't give her credit for it, but that was one of her best acting jobs. But I mean, she started with Parent Trap and now this? Why? Who makes these decisions? If I was there, it would never happen, believe me. There's no way to resurrect your career after that. So many people have come to me with offers for Lindsay for great family-style films, general audience kind of releases, but you know … whatever."

As if anybody has ever gone to Michael Lohan for career advice!!

At least he still loves his daughter. Or that's what he wants the media to believe. He continues, saying:

"The girl is such an amazing, talented, gifted and loving person. She's been consumed by the people, the lifestyle, but you know what? Don't give up hope. I am telling you now, if she gets the help that she needs, she is going to be right back on top, just like Robert Downey Jr."

Yeah, and we're sure having a father like you who is poisoning her life and career is just the guy to help her!

[Image via WENN.]

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Lindsanity Signs On To Play Coked Out, Deep-Throating Pornstar In New Flick!

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We'll see how long she's attached to this before they drop her!

Lindsay Lohan has reportedly been cast in a film role she's more than fit to play - a strung out porn star!

Sources claim that the trainwreck has signed on to the indie film Inferno, and will be portraying '70s porn actress Linda Lovelace - yes, that chick from Deep Throat.

Lovely.

We're sure Lindsanity will be taking the role very seriously and start right up on some intense method acting! Orange Oprah can teach her a few tricks of the trade!

What do U think?? Are U excited for LiLo's glorious return to cinema??

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