Spencer Pratt is apparently ready to contribute something 'significant' to society, which in his mind means becoming the real life Jack Bauer and keeping our country safe - by pitching a reality show to the National Security Agency and Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency called Cyber Spies!
Yeah, we know.
"They kicked me off 'The Hills' because they say I'm too angry, but really I was just angry that I was doing nothing on 'The Hills' and doing nothing to contribute to our free and open society of America. My friends had medical marijuana issues, so I was always worried about secondhand smoke, so I thought, 'Oh my gosh, I'm never going to be the director of the CIA,' but now I hear they recently changed that policy, and I think that they may have done that just so people like me who had friends in high places could still fit into the politics of the intelligence community. I was the biggest fan of '24' but there was such fakeness; I don't believe any American agent would chop off anybody's head. Waterboarding would do the trick."
We honestly don't even know where to begin.
Spencer, how about you lay off all of that 'secondhand' smoke?
Or better yet, go hot box yourself in it until you're too blaaazed to speak! Then you can be Jack Bauer in your mind all day long!