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Larry David's Next Career Move: An Offensive & Defensive NFL Coordinator??

Filed under: Silly!ZportzFootball

larry david says he would be a good offensive and defensive nfl coordinator

Honestly, we wouldn’t put anything past this guy.

Larry David has spent over half of his life writing stories and he feels like that makes him an excellent candidate for being an offensive coordinator in the NFL.

And honestly, he's got some PRET-TY good ideas!

He told Rich Eisen:

“If they gave me a chance, I could turn the fortunes of an NFL team around. There’s no doubt in my mind. I write stories, so why couldn’t I draw up a play? What’s harder? I think a lot of writers could be offensive coordinators. I know I could do it.”

So what would he change?

“Here’s one thing I wouldn’t do. I wouldn’t be doing what Denver did at the end of that playoff game. I wouldn’t take a knee. How dare he take that knee! How dare he. Peyton Manning’s your quarterback and you’re taking a knee?… I’m an aggresive play caller and you know what else I am? I’m a fourth down guy.”

Larry then went on to explain that the reason two-minute drills are so successful is because they use all four downs. LOLz! And added:

“If it’s 4th-and-40 I’ll punt, OK? But my philosophy is we’ve got four downs. Go with your four downs.”

Are you cracking up yet? We are!

Just like Miley Cyrus, LD can’t stop there. He went on to talk about changes he’d make on defense:

“Here’s the big mistake on defense — they play these zones. So there’s these big seams. So you see the players and they’re like, ‘There’s a guy here and there’s a guy here, so I’m gonna go in the middle and go like this!’ And the quarterback, who can throw a ball 100 mph, goes, ‘Oh look, at that guy open.’ With me, I’m back in the school yard. I’ve got him, who do you got? If I’m the defensive coordinator, you’re not gonna see a running back out in the slot waiting when the quarterback can’t find a receiver. There’s not gonna be a safety valve in a David defense. You know why? That guys gonna be covered. You won’t have linebackers just standing around in a zone.”

And he added the final reason he’d be the best:

“I’m the only man who could defend a David offense… Rush like crazy! Make ‘em nervous!”

Srsly, is there a not funny bone in this man’s body?!

Also, these are some pretty sound theories on how to win a football game, dontcha think? Ha!

[Image via FayesVision/WENN.]

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New Orleans Saints Coach Orders 'Hits' On Players

Filed under: InjuryFootball

We're not talking "hits" like tackles. We mean "hits" like how the mafia hires hit men.

New Orleans Saints defensive coordinator Gregg Williams was urging and apparently incentivizing his players to injure opposing players.

He was caught on audio talking about hurting the 49ers running back, Frank Gore, and was heard telling players:

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Jerry Sandusky Whistle Blower Speaks Out About The Abuse Her Son Suffered At His Hands!

Filed under: Icky Icky PooLegal MattersFitnessFootball

This simultaneously breaks our heart and makes us absolutely sick.

That nation was rocked by the recent discovery that Joe Paterno, the legendary Penn State University football coach, was aware that his former defensive coordinator, Jerry Sandusky, had molested young boys AT the university's football complex, and stood by and watched as higher ranking school officials covered up his defensive coordinator's crimes against over 20 children!

Well, ABC's George Stephanopoulos had the opportunity to sit down with the mother of the first boy to come forward with abuse allegations, and although she did not identify herself, went into truly DISTURBING detail as to how Sandusky used his influence to manipulate not only his victims into staying silent, but also his co-workers!

Watch the interview (above). WARNING: It is not easy to listen to. There are some graphic, heartwrenching details as to what exactly this young man endured.

We think that Stephanopoulos really hits the nail on the head when he brings attention to the most difficult aspect of these cases:

"Hard to hear, what compounds these crimes is the shame they keep on these kids that makes it so hard for them to speak out, and it gets to go on for so long."

Exactly, and we'd like to urge everyone who may know of similar crimes, or even those who may have been victim to one, to understand that as mortifying and shameful as it must be, they need to speak out!

It is NOT YOUR FAULT. These predators have to be caught!

Our thoughts and prayers go out to all of Sandusky's victims, and we commend those who were brave enough to speak up and expose this monster for exactly what kind of person he is.

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