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Awkward! Lance Armstrong Draws The Card About His Missing Ball While Playing Cards Against Humanity!

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Lance Armstrong

So… this happened.

Disgraced cyclist Lance Armstrong was sitting around playing Cards Against Humanity the other night when he drew a pretty coincidental card about himself!

We all know 2 things:

1. Lance’s scrotum has been single-occupancy since having to have a testicle removed following a cancer scare in the mid-90s.
2. Cards Against Humanity isn't the classiest game (and that's what makes it amazing).

Which is why him pulling out the card that said, “Lance Armstrong’s missing testicle,” is so HIGHlarious!

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Lance Armstrong’s Coach IS BANNED From All Sports For 10 Years!

Filed under: DrugsZportzLegal MattersLance ArmstrongCycling

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Looks like the whole gang is going down!

Lance Armstrong’s longtime cycling coach Johan Bruyneel has been banned from all sports for a decade for helping his players dope!

Even though the four-day hearing happened last December, the verdict wasn’t handed down until Tuesday, when they also gave the team trainer Jose "Pepe" Marti and doctor Pedro Celaya eight-year bans for the drugs.

As for Bruyneel, he knows his goose was cooked, and only added:

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Lance Armstrong Movies Update: Things Are Moving Fast!

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lance armstrong movie development new three projects fast

Things are moving fast on all of the Lance Armstrong movies that are jumping to get made, but there's a newcomer that's moving so fast that we're pretty sure the director and Working Title are are doping! LOLz!

They're trying to shoot as soon as THIS FALL for the movie, which is in the early stages still! Director Stephen Frears (who made a pretty great Muhammad Ali movie) seems to be taking his surprise entry in a landscape of Lance movies very seriously!

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Lance Armstrong: Nike Drops Livestrong After Almost A Decade!

lance armstrong nike livestrong doping drugs

Sometimes the long relationships are the hardest to endure (especially with a cheater) — and that's why Nike is dropping Livestrong like a sack of potatoes!

Lance Armstrong hasn't been making new friends, and it looks like even things he touches can't seem to keep ones that have been around for almost a decade! NINE YEARS the relationship between Nike and Livestrong has gone on, and it's now gone!

Officials have said that Livestrong is “deeply grateful” to Nike, which helped raise $100 million for the organization. Here's more of what they said:

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Golfer Vijay Singh Is Suing The PGA Tour For Revealing His Use Of Deer Antler Spray

Filed under: DrugsWacky, Tacky & TrueGolf

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Wait, what??? LOLz

Golfer Vijay Singh has been using deer antler spray to improve his game, but after the PGA Tour sued him for using the substance, he's now suing them for being reckless with how they exercised the Anti-Doping Program.

The suit states that the PGA Tour debunked Singh to "public humiliation and ridicule" for months.

And in a statement delivered by Vijay's lawyer, Peter Ginsberg, the golfer said:

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Olympic Discus Athlete Gets Thrown Out Of The Olympics For 10 Years For Doping!

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When is the doping madness going to stop???

It's been enough that we've had to deal with Lance Armstrong's doping scandal, but now Olympic discus silver medalist, Darya Pishchalnikova has been banned from the Olympics for 10 years, and is also set to get her medal taken away.

Last year, Pishchalnikova received a silver medal at the London Olympics, but after she tested positive for the illegal drug Oxandrilone, she won't be able to compete for a whole decade.

Federation president, Valentin Balakhnichev said:

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Lance Armstrong's Ex Wife Might Have To Testify AGAINST Him!

Filed under: DrugsLegal MattersLove LineLance Armstrong

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The U.S. Department of Justice's lawsuit that was looming in the distance has now crashed down on top of Lance Armstrong, and we're hearing that someone who used to love him might have to testify against him!

Lance better hope there's a little love left, which we wouldn't bet on, because Kristin Armstrong is his EX-WIFE!

The DoJ filed a 33 page court document, and brings about the possibility that she may be called as a witness in the trial.

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