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Finding More Motivation To Get In Shape

Filed under: Exclusives!Q&AFitness

Dr J

A FitPerez reader didn't end up staying on top of their New Year's resolution to lose weight. This Perezcious reader needs new motivation and asked Dr. J for advice, writing:

My New Year's resolution was to get in shape and drop a few pounds. I totally didn't stick with it and am trying to find some new motivation. I want to get back on track but feel like I don't have a plan. What will help me achieve my goals?

According to Dr. J

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Making Money And Going To School: Should You Do One, The Other, Or Both?

Filed under: Exclusives!Q&AFitnessAdvice

Dr J

Some people just aren't sure if school is for them. They might want to start gaining professional experience right away.

Or maybe someone just isn't sure.

Take this FitPerez Reader for example:

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Q & A With Dr. J

Filed under: Exclusives!Q&AAdvice

Dr J

A FitPerez reader is worried about a friend who is more focused on partying then getting an education. They wrote life coach Dr. J for advice on how to bring up the issue and persuade her to get her life back on track, asking:

I like to have a good time with my friends when we go out but I know where to draw the line. One of my friends has been going a little overboard when we go out and I am worried she may have a problem. She dropped out of school and all she does lately is hang out at her boyfriend's house with him and his buddies. How do I get her back on track?

According to Dr. J:

Whether it‘s high school or college, we can ALL use a breather from the books from time to time. However, it sounds like your gal-pal is getting an education outside the classroom that appears to be more appealing than looking at a chalkboard. She clearly is favoring fun and substances over the ping and pangs of being a scholastic superstar. It sounds to me that she is getting the type of attention and chemical distractions that just might not be for her highest good.

Getting your friend back on track can be a tricky, and possibly trying, course. We ALL can feel your genuine concern and care for your friend, so perhaps it’s time to have an "Academic Ambush." The next time you have some alone time with her, speak from your heart and uproot her from her unproductive rut by listing the concerns you have about the Boy-Contraband and let her know you’re worried it might be threatening her immediate and long-term safety and well-being. What she’s doing may feel good now, but you need to remind her every step she takes leads her forward in life, so she should be picking the right direction for her path. Every step counts!

You may also want to talk to her family, especially if she's hiding her behavior from her family. Now is the time to tattle-tale. You might lose a friend, but it’s worth the risk because you might also end up saving her Life. Standing by in silence will end up hurting your friend and also your heart. I do hope your friend surrenders to your loving support and sees your sincerity. Pointing out the pitfalls or even dragging a friend out of the trenches of life and rescuing them from themselves is no easy task, but it is a selfless act. So stand strong in your convictions of friendship and be proud that you want to help. Regardless of the outcome of your sincere attempts to help your friend, I commend You on any efforts You embark on.

If you've got a question about how to handle something bothering you in life, shoot us an email or ask the doctor himself @AskDocJ on Twitter!

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Beating The Old Habits And Sticking To That Resolution

Filed under: Q&AFitnessAdvice

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So, how's that New Year's Resolution going? Good?

Not so good?

We're sure you're not alone. Even this FitPerezcious reader needs a little help:

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Handling Prosperity While Others Struggle Financially

Filed under: Advice

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Many Americans and others across the world are facing financial hardships.

Several workers are out of work, several struggle to make ends meet with low paying jobs.

For one FitPerez reader, it is a matter of lending a helping hand to those in needs, especially when those in needs are people that are considered close.

The reader's question:

A few of my friends were laid off from their jobs recently and a couple of other friends are having money issues. I'm doing pretty good financially and want to buy gifts for my friends but don't want them to feel obligated to buy me something in return. I'm also worried that some of them may think I'm showing off. Should I just send cards and call it a day so I can avoid
any issues?

Luckily, Dr. J has some great advice for our generous reader. His response:

One's Prosperity Ebbs and Flows, but your Thoughtfulness and Generosity, I would assert, are not Fickle. Don't ever compromise your character just because people are broke. We ALL go through fiscal challenges, and as a friend it’s your job to be Consistent with your Compassion, Empathy, and Kindness. Those are the Gifts money can’t buy! Plus, you never know how your Gifts may uplift and inspire someone. Sometimes sharing your fortune can soothe the symptoms of stress and can shed a light on a friend to give them the strength they might need to get back into being their very best.

By withholding your natural generosity, you might come off as a fair-weathered friend instead of a bosom buddy, so be unchanging in your friendship and give because you care. As for the obligation issue, try not to sweat it too much. Just be upfront with your friends and let them know that their gift to you this year is to use the money they would have spent on something pressing in their life…bills, clothes for their kids, car repairs. If they still choose to give you something, that is their Choice! Receive it with
open arms and an open heart! They are Blessed to have a Friend like YOU! I would assert if any of your friends feels like you are showing off, theydon’t really know you that well. Let them sort out those feelings and don’tlet it interfere with your generosity.

Remember, the more You give…the more You live!

Kind and true words from the doctor.

It is great when someone's kindness truly comes from a sincere place. We hope that this helps!

If you've got a question about how to handle something bothering you in life, shoot us an email or ask the doctor himself @AskDocJ on Twitter!

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What Can You Say To Someone Who Has Lost Someone Close?

Filed under: Sad SadAdvice

Dr. J

Unfortunately, we've all been there. We've either lost someone ourselves, or we know someone who is going through having lost someone close. How do you help them cope? What can you say?

That's exactly what this FitPerezcious reader would like some advice about:

A good friend's mom recently passed away and I want to be there for her but I'm not sure what to do or say. How can I help her get through this?

Luckily, Dr. J is here to offer some help:

In crucial moments of life, caring is the greatest role a friend can have. Sometimes saying nothing and just being there speaks for itself. But you can also go the extra mile and take on tedious tasks that are still necessary during the healing process. Fulfill the three Cs, and you will not only be Consoling your friend in her time of need, but you'll be Cleaning and Cooking, too! Death can cause some people to operate in a fog, possibly forgetting to take care of themselves and forgetting to do the very basic things in life. So, be aware of how she is coping with things and pick a few tasks that will make your friend's life easier. It's times like these that actions speak louder than words, and by lessening her load, your attentive actions will be amplified! Consoling someone can be as elementary as helping them navigate through life when the waters seem pretty murky. Getting her through the grief can be a serious job, so be prepared for the unexpected and equip yourself for the unknown, and bottom line, knowing that she can depend on you will help make everything she's going through a little easier. It's a fact…life-long friendships that go the distance have crucial moments like Life and Death. The bonds of your friendship become stronger with each of these moments. Happy tears will fall again, but in the meantime, you'll be there to help her sweep up the sorrow.

Beautifully said, and we agree 100%.

Add all of this with the passing of time, and things will be all right again soon. We hope everything gets better for you and your friend, reader!

If you've got a question about how to handle something bothering you in life, shoot us an email or ask the doctor himself @AskDocJ on Twitter!

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Q & A With Dr. J

Filed under: Exclusives!Q&AAdvice

Dr. J

A FitPerez reader is tired of a the daily grind and wants to start doing work they are actually passionate about! However, like many of us, this reader needs help figuring out what that actually is, so they wrote life coach Dr. J for advice, asking:

Everything I read lately says you should be passionate about your work. I'm definitely not passionate about my current job but I'm not sure what else I want to do. How do I figure out what I should be doing with my life?

According to Dr. J:

I believe that we are all designed to SHINE and each and every one of us has a unique talent. Start sincerely listening to that invisible voice within, because if you're asking me this question, that inner voice is already speaking to you.

It's time to figure out what it is you really want. What will be your Legacy? What are your Dreams? You can discern your direction once you amp up awareness in your life. I suggest you get Ready to Rewire and create a new Reality for yourself. It will take some Readjusting, Rebuilding, Reexamining, and Resolve, but if you start being forensic with your feelings, your passion will point YOU in the direction of your deepest desires.

Let's get back to basics to get you back on track. First, think about what is it that YOU truly LOVE? Still not sure? Then begin to build a better blueprint for your life by creating your own bucket list…or what I like to call your LIFE list. Only things that excite, fascinate, and exhilarate you belong on your list. Look for patterns in your list that will point you in the direction of your passion. Make sure you actually check off everything on your LIFE-list so that you can make sure reality and your dreams are a match. When you adopt activities that appeal to you, you are putting yourself in a position to prevail. And don't worry if you suddenly figure out that your current pursuits have put you on the wrong passion path.

There is nothing wrong with U-turns to get you to where you want to be. We all change lanes in life! But, going around in circles will get you nowhere. So, buckle up for the ride of your LIFE!

If you've got a question about how to handle something bothering you in life, shoot us an email or ask the doctor himself @AskDocJ on Twitter!

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