The following story may turn one off from eating seafood again. Or at least calamari.
A 63-year-old woman from South Korea took her first bite of a cooked whole squid and instantly "felt extreme pain in her oral cavity." She spat out the food immediately, and complained she felt a "pricking and foreign-body sensation" inside her mouth. She was taken to the hospital.
You might be thinking it was food poisoning, right?
Here's what the hospital reported:
"Twelve small, white spindle-shaped, bug-like organisms stuck in the mucous membrane of the tongue, cheek, and gingiva were completely removed, along with the affected mucosa. On the basis of their morphology and the presence of the sperm bag, the foreign bodies were identified as squid spermatophores."
A spermatophore is a CUP OF SEMEN!!!
And there were TWELVE spermatophores inside her mouth!
Which means she had TWELVE CUPS OF BABY SQUID SEMEN inside her mouth.
The good news is that there is no chance of mouth impregnation from baby squid in the west because all of the internal organs are removed, but if you're ever in the Far East we recommend you play it safe and avoid the baby squid.
Thankfully, the woman from South Korea is A-OK. Although she's probably pretty grossed out as we most definitely are.