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Kate Beckinsale's Penis Obsession Got Her Daughter In Trouble At School — Hear Her Tell The Whole Story To Seth Meyers!

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This was quite literally a dick move…

Kate Beckinsale may be the embodiment of classic Hollywood glamour-meets-British high society, but that doesn't mean she's incapable of being lowbrow.

In fact, the Underworld: Blood Wars star stopped by Late Night with Seth Meyers on Wednesday where she shared a very PG-13 story involving her 17-year-old daughter… and some peen!

Related: Kate's Husband Files For Divorce 1 Year After Split!

Apparently, Kate is slightly obsessed with penises — so much so that she regularly rearranges fruit bowls to resemble male genitalia!

Unfortunately for Lily Beckinsale, however, that penchant for peckers failed to impress her professors when her momma accidentally doodled one on her homework!!

Telling a penis story is a ballsy move, Kate… but it sure paid off!

Ch-ch-check out Kate Beckinsale's phallic fascination in her own words (below)!!!

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13-Year-Old Boy Loses Leg After Teacher's 'Body-Slamming' — And The School Refused To Call An Ambulance!

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This is absolutely awful.

Last month, 13-year-old Montravious Thomas was in a classroom at Edgewood Student Services Center in Columbus, Georgia when one of the program's "behavioral specialists" allegedly threw him to the ground.

According to family lawyer Renee Tucker, the teen was leaving the classroom to call his mom from the office so he could get picked up.

Related: Four Students Injured During School Shooting

That's when Renee says the specialist, Bryant Mosley, slammed the student to the ground. She claims this happened multiple times, when Montravious kept trying to leave the room.

She told WTVM:

"And from what we understand Montravious was the only student in the classroom the afternoon of this particular occurrence."

Mosley must have thrown Thomas pretty hard. The damage was so severe

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Nicki Minaj & Charlamagne Tha God Discuss The Logistics Of Eating Ass On The Breakfast Club! Listen & Learn!

Filed under: Lauryn HillNicki MinajSexEducationalButtz

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As Jhené Aiko once said: "You gotta eat the booty like groceries."

Those words were never more applicable than on Monday morning when Nicki Minaj got into a lengthy discussion about the art of analingus on The Breakfast Club.

However, the Anaconda singer actually wasn't even the one who brought ass-eating up in the first place… because that honor goes to host Charlamagne tha God!

Exclusive: Did Nicki & Ariana Grande Steal Their Side To Side Music Video?!

Nicki stopped by the Power 105 talk show to discuss everything from her recent run-in with Lauryn Hill to her newly "postponed" Freeform sitcom Nicki — and there's no buts about it… Nicki's got questions!

While Charlamagne opened the conversation with, "I'm still out here getting my ass eaten," the Side to Side rapper doubled down on his rimjob rhetoric, asking:

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Watch Donald Trump Saying Statutory Rape Is Harmless When The Victims Are Male Students!

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How has he possibly helped raise five children?!

Donald Trump is one scandal closer to filling out his free punch card today after his characteristically archaic views on student/teacher affairs were just unearthed.

While he's never been a supporter of women's rights, the sexist apparently isn't that fond of kids' rights either — because only four years ago, he literally said he doesn't think boys being sexually assaulted by female teachers is necessarily a bad thing…

Related: Trump Tells Florida Supporters To Vote 20 Days After Election…

Speaking to Extra at the 2012 Miss USA pageant, the father-of-five effectively defended statutory rape when asked about unspecific incidents of "teachers having sex with their students," answering:

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Racist Teacher's Aide Fired After Calling Michelle Obama A 'Gorilla' On Facebook

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Karma's a bigot!

An elementary school in Gainesville, Georgia is now a safer place for all students after a racist teaching aide was let go for her rather racist personal life.

Jane Wood Allen had been with the Chestatee Elementary School district for 27 years prior to this session… but a public Facebook post of hers calling Michelle Obama a "poor gorilla" just got her fired!

Related: Emmy-Winning Journalist Fired Over 'Reverse Racism'

But comparing the First Lady of the United States to a wild animal wasn't even the worst of Jane's since-deleted tirade, which read:

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Obsessed With Beyoncé's Lemonade? Now You Can Study It At College!

Filed under: Music MinuteBeyonceEducationalGIFsSocial Issues

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We need to do wellness checks on all the college-aged Beyoncé fans out there — this might be too much for the Beyhive to handle!

Following the release of Bey's iconic visual album Lemonade, The University of Texas at San Antonio announced it will offer an entire class on the subject.

Related: Relive The Best Moments Of Beyoncé's Lemonade In GIFs!

Called Black Women, Beyoncé, and Popular Culture, the course will examine the singer's ode to "black womanhood" and how it relates to "theoretical, historical, and literary frameworks of black feminism". The enlightening class will be taught by Kinitra D. Brooks, a scholar of race, gender, and horror.

To break things down even further, the course will follow the album's progression all the way from Formation to All Night. Each chapter's theme will be reflected in the course materials to deftly demonstrate Lemonade's strong ties to black feminism.

While this sounds like every Beyoncé fan's dream, be advised that this course is NOT for slackers. Race, gender, class and pop culture theory is serious stuff, people!

Professor Brooks went on to advise prospective students:

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Law Professor Suspended From Twitter After Telling Followers To 'Run Over' Black Lives Matter Protesters!

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Objection!

America suffered yet another instance of race inequality this week when Terence Crutcher was shot dead by police in Tulsa, Oklahoma — despite being completely innocent of any crime.

The unarmed black man was killed while simply trying to fix his car… but one college professor seems to think Terence's protesters are actually the evil ones in all this.

Related: 19-Year-Old Mother Murdered The Day Before Her Birthday

University of Tennessee Knoxville law professor Glenn Reynolds found himself without a job Twitter for a few hours on Wednesday after an offensive tweet of his got his account suspended.

While reacting to a news story about protesters blocking the I-277 in Charlotte, Glenn decided to join in on the conversation, saying:

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