Home Videos Photos

All tag results for elections 2012

Voters Strike Devastating Blow Job To El Lay Porn Industry!

Filed under: Yummy Yummy ScrewR.I.P.PolitikTwitter

porn legislature passed los angeles condom required

Ruh-roh! El Lay might need to change it's nickname!!

As Barack Obama won four more years, marriage equality found major breakthroughs, and pot smokers rejoiced by binging on Cheetos, Los Angeles Country residents voted in new law specific to the porn industry!

Measure B requires porn companies to purchase more expensive safety permits and forces condom use in sex scenes. It passed, with 55.9% of voters supporting it.

YAY! Safe sex is good, right? …Right???

Of course safe sex is good!

The problem with this measure, argues the porn industry and the L.A. Times, is that porno films are already safe!

Strict screening measures exist to ensure that no participants are infected with STDs!!

All this measure does, they say, is add (unnecessary) condoms!

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Permalink / 1 comment / Email this  »

Pennsylvania Voter Records Evidence Of Anti-Obama Electronic Ballot Tampering At Polls!

Filed under: PolitikBarack ObamaTech Talk

Ahhh! We gave the machines too much power!

In all started when we enabled them to do electronic banking and, apparently, allowing them to "count" up our votes is another step in the wrong direction!

Ch-ch-check out the vid from a concerned voter in PA who hoped to re-elect President Obama, but was thwarted by the evil robot overlord (above)!

Every time this civic-minded citizen tried to choose the Prez, evil-tronic voting machine forced him to cast his vote for Mittens!

Of course, we have no proof this is a robot conspiracy, but the only alternative is believing the Republicans participated in voter fraud!

It's time to defend yourselves against the robot apocalypse!!

These automated killers are already monitoring our diets, forcing us to bow down for snacks, and disguising themselves to look human!

We're living in the prequel to The Matrix, but Keanu Reeves isn't here to save us!!!

Our machine oppressors already run faster than cheetahs, and they're six times as smart!!

We're all DOOMED!

P.S. The polls are almost closed; don't forget to vote!!

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Permalink / 45 comments / Email this  »

Eva Longoria Sacked Mark Sanchez To Play For Team Obama?

Filed under: Eva LongoriaLove LineBarack ObamaSin City

eva-longoria-single-smiling-barack-obama-campaign-mark-sanchez

Just days after dumping sacking Mark Sanchez, there's absolutely nothing desperate about our fave former Housewife!

Eva Longoria urged students at UNLV to rock the vote yesterday and, more specifically, re-elect the man who believes the only requisite for marriage is an abundance love!

As the 37 year-old actress just cut the NY Jets player out of her life completely, sources revealed their main conflict was

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Permalink / 15 comments / Email this  »