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Nobody Wants To Hire Lindsay Lohan!

Lindsay Lohan Magic Mike Role

Ooooh, LiLo. It's hard out there for a pimp, huh?

According to production sources from Magic Mike, she was considered for a role in the stripper movie starring Matthew McConaughey and Channing Tatum. Unfortunately for her, the film's director said no way in hell!

The source goes on to say:

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Michele Bachmann Wishes Elvis A Happy Birthday … On The Day He Died

Filed under: Gay Gay GayPolitikMichele Bachmann

She's the brightest peg on the Lite-Brite, folks!

Thirty-four years ago today, the world lost a musical icon. Hoping to swing a few Elvis fans her way in the Presidential election, Michele Bachmann started her speech in Spartansburg, South Carolina with a special tribute to the King.

She wished him a Happy Birthday!

Slow clap? No? Maybe?

Uh! Did you hear that? Sounded like a thud coming from Graceland! Oh, yep, Elvis just rolled over in his grave. Good job, Bachmann!

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Zsa Zsa Gabor's Pricey Pad For Sale!

Filed under: Leonardo DiCaprioPhotos!

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Got 28 million dollars to spare for a mansion? If not, don't worry…we bet you could probs talk them down to 27 mill! LOLz.

Zsa Zsa Gabor and hubby Prince Frederic von Anhalt are selling their Bel Air Mansion for $28,000,000!

Apparently, the mansion has quite the history. It def might be worth 28 million bucks to live in the same place that Elvis lived for 4 years of his life.

And for everyone out there who enjoyed Leo in The Aviator, the home was originally built by Howard Hughes in the 1950s! Pret-ty cool.

Still not convinced? In total, the mansion is approx 8,000 square feet and has 26 rooms!!!

The couple are moving out because it's "too much of a headache" with all their health/aging issues, and Prince Frederic claims they only use two rooms in the house.

What do U think? Are U ready to write a gargantuan check for Zsa Zsa's tremendous mansion?

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Louisiana Goes Security-Crazy For Twilight Shoot!

louisiana goes hardcore for twilight security

We understand that Robert Pattinson is a living national treasure, but this is some INTENSE security, Louisiana!

Serious perhaps to the point of excessive security measures are being set up for The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn's shoot at Raleigh Studios' Celtic Media Centre in Baton Rouge.

Here's what Celtic's chief of security Winston Achee had to say about it:

“We have increased our number of full-time security personnel from six to twenty-four in the last week. That’s just the beginning of the ramp-up. We’ll be adding two to four more every week.”

Wow. More from Achee:

“So, we’ll have on property at all times a forty-eight man force. We are not taking security on this property lightly."

Trust us, we DON'T think you're taking security lightly.

Here are some other highlights of Achee's hardcore security situation:

-Enhanced vehicle identification requirements

-Unique photo badges to be worn at all times by authorized personnel

-Hiring of veterans of Louisiana police forces and sheriff's departments instead of just security guards

Between Winston Achee's small army and the high profile security that the Twilight crew will be bringing themselves, we're thinking Taylor Lautner's abs and K-Stew are going to be JUST FINE.

…But just in case you're still not convinced, here's why Achee says security for the film should will go smoothly:

”I used to run security for Elvis. I’m confident.”

Certainly NO arguing with that! We wish you the best of luck with Twilight's security, Winston. We're sure R-Patz appreciates it!

Do U think Twilight needs THAT much security?

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Nick Jonas Misses His Doggie On The Road!

Filed under: Jonas BrothersPets

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Awwww!

While Nick Jonas is away from home, the singer only misses one thing - his golden retriever Elvis!

"The one thing I miss the most when I'm away from home is my dog, Elvis," said Nick.

We hope they're reunited soon!

[Image via Pacific Coast News Online.]

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An Open Letter To Lindsay Lohan…This Time From Pat O'Brien

Filed under: Lindsay LohanInspiration

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We feel like we basically took care of the "Open Letter" thing with our video Life Coaching With Perez: An Open Letter To Lindsay Lohan, but for those of you out there who'd like to see more, here's an open letter from entertainment anchor/radio host Pat O'Brien:

Dear Lindsay:

Do us all a favor and take a snapshot of your life on this Friday, Sept. 3, 2010. By all accounts, you are reasonably healthy right now.

You are out of jail.

You've completed another rehab. Right now, people are buying tickets to your movie, "Machete," with a formidable Hollywood cast. And you grace the cover of the new Vanity Fair magazine, looking ever the movie star with all the accompanying door prizes and presents: beauty, happiness, confidence, youth and that "have it all" look that the woman you are channeling, Grace Kelly, possessed. This is all good.

But hopefully, you'll also take a look at the negative of that photo you just snapped … and ponder what life has been and what life can be. Indeed, it was Grace Kelly who said of Hollywood: "It's a town without pity. I know of no other place in the world where so many people suffer from nervous breakdowns, where there are so many alcoholics, neurotics and so much unhappiness."

From where we all sit, this is also a big part of your snapshot … and despite all the crazy and mostly embellished media coverage of your life's journey, there remain a great number of people who are worried about you. I am one of them. I am also one of those alcoholics that Grace Kelly spoke of.

I've been through it, Lindsay. For me, there has been no jail, no courtroom antics, no ankle bracelet and, thankfully, I don't have the paparazzi snapping my every move. But I, too, have the same demons you have, and it's no fun. But there is good news and bad news about these demons. The bad news is that they never go away: We're wired differently. The good news is that with a certain amount of willingness, structure and personal inventory, those demons can be arrested. And the ones who survive, like myself so far, are the ones who accept that these are the cards that were handed us and we don't have to always gamble our lives away.

The important thing to remember is that this is your life and nobody else's. And there's no blame; it's not the media's fault or the paparazzo's fault or even your father's fault. He's got enough problems of his own. It has nothing to do with growing up too fast or being too young or even the jungle Grace Kelly hated called Hollywood. It's a seemingly simple, yet incredibly complicated disorder that millions of Americans share. It's a brain disease that brings terrible and embarrassing consequences. There's no cure, but with the right focus it can be tamed. [It's] not my place to tell you how to do this because, by now, you know where to seek help.

The great late talk-show host Tom Snyder once asked me on his show, "What killed Elvis?" My answer was, "Not what, but who?" I went on to explain that nobody ever said no to the King of Rock and Roll and eventually that killed him. Nobody said much to Marilyn Monroe, either. The brilliant and talented Dennis Hopper had his demons and conquered them and died with years of sobriety, yet the 10th, 11th and 12th words in his obituary were "drugs and alcohol."

It really isn't any of our business, but we are all spectators in what has become a sad three-ring circus. We buy Vanity Fair. We buy movie tickets. We give up precious moments of our busy lives to watch some of those television shows looking for a rating by ambushing you. (Yeah, "The Insider" really wanted to do a story on your closet!) So we are invested in the Lindsay Lohan business, and I have to be honest that most of us are rooting for you.

On this Friday, your press is great. Your castmates are loving and holding out their hands in a snapshot you should frame. Take a deep breath and look at yourself right now and think how it would be if every day was like this: full of smiles and promises. I hope you've learned that this is possible. Many have discovered a new journey, and it's a much more satisfying road with a better destination. You have to realize that the consequences of denial start to get much more serious than Perez Hilton making fun of you. Sadly, it's well-documented that the consequence waiting for you could be death. To me, it seems an easy choice.

In the meantime, good luck with the movie, hand out the new Vanity Fair to your real friends and take life one day at a time.

Hopefully, I'll see you soon. I suggest the nearest Starbucks.

Your friend,

Pat O'Brien

What do U think of Pat O'Brien's advice to Lindsay?

[Images via WENN.]

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