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Snooki Calls Ex BF Jeff Miranda A "Stalker," He STILL Maintains They Were Together!

Filed under: Icky Icky PooLove LineSnookiReality TV

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We didn't think it was possible at first, but this guy is WORSE than that horrible, gay-faced Emilio!

Our beloved Snooki Snickers is not pleased in the slightest about psychotic famewhore Jeff Miranda running his mouth to every media outlet he can about the Jersey Shore star, and she has responded to his marriage proposal on Steppin' Out magazine by going as far to call him a stalker!

In an e-mail to Steppin' Out editor Chaunce Hayden, she writes:

"I am not happy with you and the cover you did with stalker jeff, the kid that I knew for a day who obviousy (sic) is a fame whore.”

Well-said, Snooks! But unfortunately, this guy is Prostitution Whore-caliber delusional and IS still claiming that he loves her!

He says:

"I mean if Nicole felt this way, she should have told me up front. If this is all true, she should have just told me. She had the audacity to embarrass me publicly. I'm hurt. I thought we had a good thing going, but I guess the situation changed. I hear she's getting her own show called Snooki For Love and I'm assuming that's why she doesn't want to continue our relationship. If that's the case, if she choose money for her show over me, I will never take her back. She's a good girl. I just wished she considered my feelings and not embarrassed me."

So effing gross.

This guy needs an effing lobotomy reality check!

Just because you spent a day hanging out with someone does not warrant a marriage proposal on a trashy magazine!

YOU'RE DONE. Now you and Emilio can both go jerk each other off famewhore somewhere else, please!

[Image via Pacific Coast News Online.]

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Has She Dumped This Loser Yet?!

Filed under: Love LineSnookiReality TV

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We hope so!

Snooki's boyfriend Jeff Miranda sounds like a real douche and apparently he used to frequent a private swingers' club!

A source reveals:

They used to have private swinger’s parties on off nights at the club and there was a lot of risky behavior with people often pairing off and heading to hotels together afterwards.

“Jeff loved these parties and he really saw himself as a ‘ladies man’. His favorite party trick was to pour alcohol on naked bodies of women and then lick it off.

“But he had a real jealous streak too. One time a girlfriend of his was getting some attention from a male stripper at another event and he went completely mad and totally flipped like a crazy person."

He's also a famewhore — big surprise! The source continues:

“The guy was always obsessed with becoming famous and was mad when his audition for Jersey Shore was not successful. But he has somehow managed to get close to Snooki even although she’s totally not his type and a lot of people close to her are really concerned.

“He recently got involved in a war of words with her former boyfriend Emilio Masella but the truth is she would have probably been better off staying with him and not hooking-up with Jeff Miranda.”

DUMP him, Snooks — and fast!

[Image via Pacific Coast News Online.]

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Snooki's Stoopid Famewhoring Boyfriend Proposes To Her On Magazine Cover!

Filed under: Icky Icky PooLove LineSnookiReality TV

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She needs to get away from this famewhoring douchebag immediately!

The latest piece of trash to attach himself to our most beloved Snooki Snickers, Jeff Miranda, has reached new levels of desperation this week by posing on the cover of the only magazine that would have him, Steppin' Out, and proposing to the Jersey Shore star - VIA THE MAGAZINE!

WTF??

This guy is so much worse than the last one!

And if that much douchery in one photo didn't nauseate you enough, here are some of the fragments of dumbass to escape this moron's brain!

On Snooks:

I want us to be together forever. I could see us having children. I want to pop the question to her. If we got married we would be the best parents around. She's so loving and puts everyone else before her self. She'll be a great mother. I think Nicole will be shocked by this cover story and the fact that I'm asking her to marry me on the cover. But once she deals with the shock I think she'll say yes. I really do. In fact, I know she'll say yes. MTV won't like that I'm doing this, but I don't care. I love her and want to be with her.

I will never break her heart. She's such a great girl. If people could see us together they would think we're a match made in heaven. People think I'm using her for fame. But that's bullshit. They're just haters. I've always had my heart broken. While I was in Iraq a girl at home broke my heart. She said she would wait for me and she didn't. I wouldn't want Nicole to go through the same pain. I didn't ask for camera's in my face. It came with the territory. But I'm willing to put up with it for Nicole. I just want to be with Nicole and make her happy. I can make her the happiest girl in the world. I have very strong feelings for her.

On claims that he's he an awful abusive fuck:

What she said about me it totally insane. She's totally lying. She's trying to make my name the worst name you could ever hear. The truth is she was cheating on me so I got mad. I won't deny that. But what really happened is she tried to force her way into my house to get back an X-Box she had bought me for my birthday. She pushed my mother and sister aside and stormed into my room. She actually kicked my sister. That got me really angry. But I never laid my hands on her. She spit in my face and started hitting me in my own house. All I did is restrain her from hitting me. There was never a gun involved. She made up the whole story. That's all she's good at doing. She got laid off from her job and she's just looking for money from the tabloids. The truth is the judge threw the whole case out and had to have her removed from the court room. She's crazy. It all started because I wouldn't buy her a $10,000 boob job. I'm sure Nicole (Snooki) will ignore the story. She knows it's not true.

On Snooki's castmate Vinny:

Personally I didn't get along with him. I don't like him as a person. He's not a very social guy to me. He's very stand-offish. He thinks he's hot shit. I think he's a jerk off. I'm not going to lie. He should lighten up and start smiling. He acts like a jerk off when people say hi to him. He should be more appreciative to the fans who watch him and like him. He's just an asshole to everyone. I've seen him in action. Trust me, he's an asshole.

On Angelina and her claims against Jeff:

Nobody cares about her anymore. She's spreading lies about me to get attention. But she's very jealous of me and Nicole (Snooki). She should just fuck off. She thinks I'm interested in her, but you would think if I were interested in her we would be dating. I'm not into her. She's a bitch. She's from Staten Island dump. I was never with her sexually. I had a friend who hooked up with her friend and that's about it. I took a few pictures with her and she feel in love with me. She thought I was a sexy Guido. I tried to be nice to her, but she got the wrong idea. Now she's jealous. She's a cock blocker. She needs to get a life. I'm tired of her trash talking. She wonders why people don't like her. But the reason nobody likes her is because all she does it talk shit about other people. She's unhappy so she wants everybody else to be unhappy. She's a horrible person. She was fucking a married guy. She's evil. She's a home wrecker. Her family needs to teach her some manners.

Well isn't he eloquent! Such wise words!

BARF!

We hope this is Snooki's wake-up call!

Stay AWAY from this turd, bb! He's trash!

And just as gayface'd as Emilio!

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Snooki's Ex Tries To Win Her Back The Way Only A True Guido Can

Filed under: Love LineSad SadSnookiReality TV

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By creeping on other girls!

We sincerely hope the cameras were rolling Tuesday night at Seaside Heights! There was quite a spectacle to behold!

When Snooki was arrested last week for being too drunk in public, her ex-boyfriend, Emilio Masella, got up from his bean bag chair, put down his Playstation 2 controller and got on a plane to New Jersey from Cali. (Yes, PS2. You think Spencer Pratt has the funds to upgrade? Please!)

Emilio broke up with Snooki a few months ago for his own reality show, but after he heard of her distress he knew he still loved her and wanted to be back on The Jersey Shore with her. So he devised a plan…

On Tuesday night, Emilio showed up outside the club Snooki was sucking dry wearing a specially-made pink t-shirt that said "Free Hugs." Many drunk and desperate grenades stopped to offer the guido comfort, but much to Emilio's shock, when Snooki came out of the club, she walked right past him…with another guy!

Ha! She didn't even notice he was there??? Maybe the seventeen shots of Stoli messed with her peripheral vision!

As Emilio watched his beloved mealticket guidette lead another man back to her beach house, he decided he would take his revenge by taking "hug number 312," a little brunette thing, back to his sleazy motel.

What a guy, huh! We see why Snooki should get back with you! You just exude class and charm!

[Image via www.XposurePhotos.com.]

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Spencer Pratt Once Again Proves How Unstable He Is!

Filed under: Spencer PrattSad SadSnooki

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Oh, Spencer Pratt. You need some serious help, boy!

The Hills star turned reclusive, homeless looking psychopath was spotted yesterday pretending he knew how to work a camera on El Matador Beach with some lifeguards and our beloved Snooki's gay-faced, famewhoring ex Emilio Masella!

We don't know what's sadder - that Spencer has actually lost his mind or that Emilio thinks that following him around is a smart way to try and become relevant!

The only place you'll be following him to is the gutter, chica!

Have fun!

[Image via Pacific Coast News Online.]

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Snooki Is BACK! Ten Minute Preview Of Jersey Shore!!

Filed under: MTVInspirationSnookiReality TV

UGGGH! THANK GOD!

Check out the ten minute preview for season two of the AMAZEBALLS Jersey Shore! It's seriously beyond words!

We were nervous that the castmembers' overnight fame would ruin the quality of this season, but from the looks of it, lightning may be striking twice!

Especially with our most beloved Snooki! Her one liners are OUT OF CONTROL! Our heart skips a beat whenever she's on screen!

P.S. Who gets a big time GAY vibe from her ex-boyfriend Emilio??

LOLz!

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Spencer Is Making Guido Energy Drink!

Filed under: Icky Icky PooSpencer Pratt

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Could he try ANY harder?!

Although the Jersey Shore craze has died down in the recent months, Spencer Pratt is teaming up with Snooki's ex Emilio Masella to produce a Guido-themed energy drink.

The douches already have a dating show in the works (aka Fist Pumping For Love), but they find it necessary to trademark Guid-o-Juice.

Yep, you heard us!

The line of beverages will range from energy-fueled drinks to herbal remedies and according to Spencer, it'll develop into "what's soon to be the most popular Guido energy drink in the world."

Considering he's the only one stoopid enough to think that a Guido energy drink is a good idea, he might be right!

LAME.

[Image via WENN.]

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