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Goldilocks Strikes Again!!!

Filed under: Wacky, Tacky & True

goldilocks-robber-london.jpg

Let's see if we remember how this one goes…

Once upon a time, there was a bratty, blonde-haired girl who broke into a family of bear's house. She ate their food, broke their furniture, slept in their beds and then had the audacity to flee when the bears got home and were like, "What the what?"

In the real world, we call that breaking and entering and stealing - and in London, the police are on the hunt for a criminal they've dubbed "Goldilocks" who's pulling the exact same shenanigans as in the classic children's tale.

Apparently, the fiend has broken into a house in Wickford, England TWICE over the last several months, both times enjoying the comforts of the home owner's bed and refrigerator. The police know the burgaler to be Jesse Dobinson, who unlike the fairytale character, is also wanted in connection with an assault and a knifepoint robbery. They have no leads in finding him and are imploring all the bears residents in the area to come forward if they have any new information.

By the look of him, we think you might just get your chance at him again. Here's an idea: lay out three bowls of porridge for the dude, slip him an Ambien in the one that tastes "just right" and when he goes down for his post-robbery snooze, you nab him! The End!

What? No good?! Lolz!

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The Little Mermaid Getting TWO Movie Adaptations

Filed under: Film Flickers

Little Mermaid Me

Disney fairytales are hot these days! The Little Mermaid will join Snow White as Hollywood's next property for studios to competively adapt to SEVERAL different live-action versions.

So what's next?

Sleeping Beauty? Aladdin? The Big Green? Ha!

Shana Feste, the writer and director of Country Strong, is working with Sony Pictures on an adaptation of Carolyn Turgeon's Mermaid: A Twist on the Classic Tale.

She's not a alone! Joe Wright, the director of Atonement and Hanna, is ALSO developing a live-action feature based on Hans Christian Andersen's version of the fairytale.

The official synopsis for Shana Feste's mermaid flick reads as follows:

"When Lenia, a young mermaid princess, rescues a man from a shipwreck and carries him to shore, her selfless act is witnessed by Princess Margrethe, who is staying in a convent nearby for protection from the war her father is fighting against another kingdom. The shipwrecked young man’s name is Christopher, and in the weeks that he’s nursed back to health at the convent, he and Margrethe fall in love—but it’s not until after he leaves that Margrethe discovers he’s the prince from the kingdom her family is at war with.

Meanwhile, in the sea Lenia is suffering; she fell in love with Christopher in the moments she carried him to shore, so she makes a deal with the sea witch: in exchange for her voice and tongue she receives a potion that changes her into human form. Margrethe comes up with a plan of her own: she’ll be offered in marriage to Christopher, thus uniting the kingdoms and putting an end to the years of conflict between the two lands. But when Margrethe arrives, ready to win and wed her prince, she finds him enraptured with a beautiful woman who looks very familiar. Margrethe is sure she’s seen her before…"

Mermaid vs. mermaid? That could be inneresting!

We can't wait to hear more details about Joe Wright's version so we can make an informed decision about which one we're more excited to see!

Do U think two Little Mermaid adaptations are better than one or should Hollywood try to be a little more original?

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