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Speidi Has Been Sharing (And Trashing) A Rental Home All Summer!

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Wait! These two were LYING?! NO way!

What do you mean it was all a publicity stunt?!

No shit! DUH!

Now that The Real Heidi Doll and Spencer Twatt have ended their bullshit divorce proceedings 'rekindled' their true and glorious love, new details about their obnoxious, famewhoring sham are surfacing - including that the morons have been sharing a Malibu rental home all summer - and they TRASHED it!

A source reveals:

"Heidi and Spencer made some very expensive upgrades to the house, without the owner’s permission. Wanting to keep prying eyes away, they planted 20 foot tall trees along the front of the house against the wall. They also took it upon themselves to change the pool from chlorine to salt water which was very, very expensive. Heidi and Spencer fired the gardener that the owner had in place when they moved in. They did so because they have four small dogs and they complained that the gardener was leaving the gate open and letting them out so they brought in their own gardener. The gardner they brought in didn't do as good a job as the previous one and the grounds are having to be brought back to how lush and beautiful they were prior to Heidi and Spencer moving in. They put down a much bigger security deposit because they have four dogs. The dogs peed on a $15,000 carpet and Heidi and Spencer threw it out without telling the owner. Spencer really loved the house but all of a sudden the owner was notified that they were moving to Costa Rica."

Is this actually shocking to anyone?

Anyone? Bueller?

We think the property owner should just be grateful that these two wastes of silicone and oxygen didn't stick around!

In fact, let's all pray that they've relocated to Costa Rica for good!

As long as they're not here terrorizing us with their insanity and bullshit!

Good riddance!

[Image via Pacific Coast News Online.]

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Heidi Montag's Mother Launches A Blog!

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Oh, shiz! Do we have a Michael Lohan 2.0 on our hands?

We're surprised ourselves to say no!

Heidi Montag's mother, Darlene Egelhoff, launched a self-help blog earlier in the month called Metamorphosis of a Mother, chronicling her life as a parent and her relationship with her children.

We immediately assumed this was just another way to ca$h in on their famewhoring daughter, but Egelhoff rarely even brings her up, and instead writes - quite personally, at times - about her insecurities and regrets as a parent!

In one entry, however, she mentions The Real Heidi Doll - and that infamous clip on The Hills where she learns of her daughter's plastic surgery - and it says:

Heidi hasn’t spoken to me in six months most likely because in her mind I betrayed and hurt her and likely because she’s assuming the worst of me. I handled her situation poorly and regretfully. God knows my motives were from the heart and out of desperation to save her from what I felt was a destructive, dangerous path being influenced by people who were profiting and benefitting from her. I have no way of contacting her. And yes, admittedly I do hope she reads this and knows how deeply and achingly I love and miss her & she’ll call me. Knowing in my heart I said what I thought might have the best chance of getting through to her, to MAKE her know that her precious, authentic self was the most beautiful of all God’s creations, doesn’t help my endless, sleepless nights or my ruminating thoughts of how I should have done things differently. I hurt as much as is humanly possible daily. I share this not only because it’s the elephant in the room but also because it is a deep part of my daily struggle and it would be remiss not to mention it at least here. I wish you could know her the way we know her… that’s a love letter for another time (:

Who knew that someone who created HER could be so poignant?

We're impressed, bb!

And we can only imagine how hard it's been to see this happen to your child!

Keep writing! We imagine a lot of other parents can relate to your struggles as a mother - just not the ones regarding Frankentittays!

[Image via WENN.]

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God Told Michael Lohan That Lindsanity Is Recovered!

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Will this douchebag ever getting tired of jerking himself off hearing the sound of his own voice??

Lindsay Lohan's stalker father, Michael, is apparently so pleased with his daughter's thirteen second appearance at the Video Music Awards that he's convinced that she is 100% healthy again!

He says:

"For a LONG time now I have been worrying and praying that the my 'blessed and gifted' daughter would find her way back. At times, I was too vocal, I made the wrong decisions and certainly handled things the wrong way. I constantly asked God that if it was His will to take me before her, which I stand by to this day. While some have made their pacts with the devil, I made mine with God, to take me first, or simply help Lindsay find her way back, and if so, He can do whatever He wants with me. Tonight, my prayers were met. On the MTV Music Awards, I saw, heard and know that Lindsay is back and I believe she will be better than ever."

Who does he think he is?

You didn't make a pact with God OR the Devil, moron! You made a pact with various media outlets to famewhore and exploit your child! It's a miracle she's even alive, after how badly you fucked her life up!

If you're proud of her, send her an effing fruit basket with a note!

[Image via WENN.]

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Angelina Challenges JWoww To Z-List Celebrity Boxing Match!

Filed under: Celebrity FeudsZ ListReality TV

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How desperate!

We guess a certain Staten Island swamp donkey is feeling the cold, throbbing thud of irrelevancy knocking at her door!

Jersey Shore's Angelina, the self-proclaimed Kim Rob Kardashian of Staten Island, has agreed to fight in a Celebrity Boxing match, and wants her opponent to be our gurl JWoww!

She says:

"I've been asked to do it and I'm so excited. I want to beat the sh*t out of someone. I don't care who I fight, but I hope it's JWoww in the ring. My mom taught me to fight. She is so beautiful with a perfect body. She has a six pack and a black belt in Karate. I have beaten the sh*t out of so many people. Girls always start it with me, so I just have to punch them in the face."

Well ain't that something?!

Sorry, bb!

We imagine that JWoww has some other, much brighter career prospects to focus on! Or maybe she's just enjoying the paycheck from season three of Jersey Shore!

Yo know, that show that you got your pancake ass fired from!

Bwa ha ha ha ha!

Sucks, bitch!

[Images via WENN.]

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Michael Lohan Announces He's Going To Leave Lindsanity Alone!

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Pul-leease!

The day Michael Lohan stops his famewhoring and exploitation of daughter Lindsay is the day that the universe implodes in on itself!

The douchebag, who was recently served with a cease and desist letter from LiLo's lawyer Shawn Chapman Holley, for attempting to sell her old diary entries, is now claiming that he's going to leave his little meal ticket alone!

And, of course, a whole lot of denial and other worthless bullshit.

He says:

“Why would she [Holley] do that at a time like this when she knows it’s going to drive a further wedge between my daughter and I? Especially when she knows it’s not true. I can verify that I did not try to sell these things. They were sent to me from an unknown person from a fake address in Salt Lake City, Utah. There were 14 different entries and only two of them related to what I think Lindsay is going through now. Because Lindsay was in rehab, I thought it was an important issue and that’s actually why I did come forward and discuss them. If I blame anyone now it’s myself, because maybe I shouldn’t even have gone and tried to make a point of this in the public eye. But at the same time, you know what? It’s an important issue.

I’m not going to tell Lindsay what to do anymore. It’s not my business. One mistake I’ve made in the past is that if Lindsay chooses to be around certain friends, I’m not going to get between them. If she wants to go out until 12, one, or two in the morning, that’s her business. I have to put myself in that position because it’s created some problems for me in the past. It’s said in AA and life in general that if we’ve had trouble with different people in the past, or if certain places bring back bad memories or if things we’ve done have had negative effects, then we should do our best to avoid them. But if Lindsay is smart, she’ll handle herself and she’ll be fine."

We don't see what the big revelation is here!

Lindsay's never listened to a word he's said (nor should she!) regardless of whether he's speaking to the press or not about her!

Either way, there's no way he's keeping his mouth shut. We give it another 12 hours before he's talking to the press about her again.

Thoughts??

[Image via WENN.]

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Elisabetta Loves George The Paparazzi!

Filed under: Love LineGeorge Clooney

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Girl has no shame!

George Clooney and his girlfriend Elisabetta Canalis were snapped leaving Ago Restaurant in West Hollywood and naturally she smiled pretty for the cameras.

Georgie boy sure loves those famewhores — but Elisabetta takes it to a whole other level!

Hah! We kid.

Though she kind of never seems to be bothered by the fact that they're always around snapping photos of her.

Looks like Clooney found a keeper.

[Image via WENN.]

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Jersey Shore's Angelina Loses Her Shiz On Snooki's Famewhoring Maybe-Boyfriend

Filed under: Love LineSnookiReality TV

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Wow!

We sort of can't believe we're saying this…but GO ANGELINA!

The usually infuriating Jersey Shore star apparently had a run-in with Jeff Miranda, the famewhoring douchebag who proposed to our most beloved Snooki Snickers on a magazine cover, at a New York City strip club, which ended in her clobbering him with a microphone and pouring drinks on his head!

AMAZEBALLS!

Here's what went down.

The two have been calling each other out in the press for a while now - Angelina says Jeff is a famewhore and tried to get with her before he declared his 'love' for Snooks. Jeff responded by saying that Angelina is a 'hater' and 'jealous.'

Last night, Jeff showed up Sapphire Gentleman's club, which he apparently frequents, while Angelina was there filming a web broadcast, and according to host Chaunce Hayden, he started in on her immediately!

Hayden claims:

“Jeff showed me text messages that he said were from Angelina that said something like 'I still have feelings for you.' Jeff was yelling that Angelina was jealous of his relationship with Snooki and that she is trying to break them up so she can date him. Angelina grabbed the microphone and started smashing him in the face with it over and over. She hit him at least three times in his face. She was screaming and swearing, ‘I’m going to kill you, you’re a fucking liar.' He looked stunned. He stood up like he was going to hit her and a group of people stopped him. She took all the booze on the table and started pouring it in his face and blinded him. I never saw somebody get beat that bad. He kept saying ‘I’m going to sue her, I’m going to sue her,' but he was barely able to talk his face was so swollen and his teeth looked crooked. She said that felt great and he had it coming for a long time.

Ha!

We don't condone violence, but there's no way she could have beaten him as badly as this guy claims he did! And this is just HIGHlarious! This douche has been running his mouth about everything and everyone since day one - it's no surprise she had had enough.

And now we all know - Jeff was clearly messing with the WRONG Staten Island gutter troll!

Team Angelina (for now, anyway)!

Thoughts??

[Images via Pacific Coast News Online.]

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