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Bryan Cranston On Breaking Bad's New Season: 'You Will Sh*t! Uncontrollably!'

Filed under: TV NewsComic-Con

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Whaaaaat?

The Hollywood Reporter ran a wicked-cool cover story interviewing the cast and crew of Breaking Bad and you WON'T BELIEVE what they're saying about the final season!!

And look how HOT everyone looks on that cover (above)!

Ch-Ch-Check out the explosive video AFTER THE JUMP to hear actor Bryan Cranston talk about how watching Sunday's season premiere will make you involuntarily leak out of your anus!!

Whoa!!

Aaron Paul and series creator Vince Gilligan also weigh in on the dramatic twists and turns of the final season, though their commentary isn't quite as feces-tious!!

Sorry, we couldn't pass that one up, LOLz!!

A Comic-Con panel! The season premiere this weekend!

So much Breaking Bad! SO LITTLE TIME!! CLICK AFTER THE JUMP TO WATCH THE BREAKING BAD CAST BE AMAAAAAZING IN THEIR BEHIND-THE-SCENES HOLLYWOOD REPORTER SHOOT!!!!

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Man Eats Doo-Doo While High On Bath Salts

Filed under: Icky Icky PooDrugsLegal MattersSad Sad

Matthew Hammond eats feces after bath salts

Yuck!

The latest tale of bath salts woe is certainly not as gruesome as the Miami face eating incident — which authorities eventually discovered had nothing to do with the drug — but it's really effing DISGUSTING!

A 21-year-old Georgia male was arrested on July 3 after snorting "a lot" of bath salts and once police were finally able to subdue him, they realized he had been eating poop!

BARF!

Granted, the more horrifying part of the story is the fact that Matthew Hammond's mom had to call the cops because he was "walking around out of his mind, armed with a knife.”

Forget a complete stranger. Can U imagine seeing your friend or relative behaving this way?

The arresting officer was spared the vomit-worthy visuals and

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Jon Lovitz Takes On Middle School Bigots Responsible For Vandalizing Friend's House

Filed under: Sad SadTwitterIcky Icky Diaper Poo

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Way to go, Jon Lovitz!!

The actor/comedian took on three middle school bullies who vandalized his friend's home in Northridge, California.

After the three cowards left dog feces and drew swastikas with the word "Jew" in maple syrup on his friend's porch, Jon tweeted the (below) Twitpic.

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Dude Performs Fecal Transplant On Himself!

Filed under: Wacky, Tacky & TrueHealth

Mr Hankey Fecal Transplant

Are you eating? You might want to skip ahead or put down the spoon for a second (especially if you're eating soup).

So there's this guy in Nova Scotia who caught C. difficile after a surgery and was having a hell of a time getting the hospital to treat it.

He then went ahead and gave himself a fecal transplant using his cousin's… well… feces in an enema. Obviously he didn't want his name released to the press.

The doctors were shocked for two reasons: He did it to himself, and IT WORKED.

Well, more so that it worked even though he did it to himself, because the proper procedure does have a 90% success rate!

We're glad it all worked out — he saved his own life!

The more you know!

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David Duchovny Shoveled Horse Manure To Meditate

Filed under: David DuchovnyIcky Icky Dog PooHorsesFunny

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David Duchovny recently went to a Buddhist meditation retreat at a monastery in upstate New York.

You'd think that'd probably be a really relaxing trip, but apparently it was almost the opposite.

Duchovny said:

"I just went on a retreat to a zen monastery in upstate New York. It's a type of Buddhism and meditation is a big part of it.

I'm a beginner, I've only been meditating for a little while. You pay a fee to go for this weekend and what I didn't know is that even though you pay a fee they put you to work immediately.

You go there and first you bus some tables after you eat and they had me working in the garden everyday for an hour-and-a-half. It was fun, I was shoveling horse shit out there. You pay money and then you shovel horse shit!"

There was of course, times where he wasn't knee deep in manure.

There was a lot of meditation. Though that didn't seem too relaxing either.

He said:

"You're meditating quite a lot, 45 minutes maybe three or four times a day… and it's a very strict kind of monastery, they don't want you moving at all while you're meditating. You're sitting cross-legged or sitting on your heels. Your feet go numb… but I figured out a way to cheat and to move.

There's a guy who walks around with a stick and he's banging it and you can ask him to hit you on the shoulders with the stick and it's supposed to hit a pressure point and relieve some sort of stress, so I as he walks by, you're supposed to (bow). This means, 'Please hit me'.

I'd hear him come around and hear him whacking people and when he comes I'll be able to adjust a little, that's all I'm thinking about [because] I'm so uncomfortable. So when he comes round I [bow] and he hits me once here (right shoulder) and he hits me there (left shoulder) and then you do this [bow] which means, 'Thank you for hitting me', so I got to adjust."

Sounds like he figured out how to make his stay somewhat enjoyable.

And even though it might not have been exactly what he expected, he did seem to think it was worthwhile, saying:

"I'm a seeker, a searcher, a seeker of wisdom. I don't know [if it was helpful]. It's hard to say how it gets into your life but I feel that it did.

I would go back. They have people who are there for three months, six months, people who spend their life there."

We're glad you didn't have a bad time shoveling horsie poo!

[Image via RHS/WENN.]

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Ewww! Man Caught Hiding In Waste Tank Under Porta-Potty!

Filed under: Icky Icky Poo

man hiding in toilet waste tank

Maybe he was just playing Hide & Seek and got REALLY into it…JK!

All jokes aside, this is actually incredibly disturbing and disgusting! During the Hanuman Yoga Festival in Boulder, Colorado, a woman went to use a portable toilet and found a man hiding in the waste tank below! YUCK!

The poor, innocent woman thought maybe someone was stuck so she called over security, but then the man locked himself inside for several minutes until he opened the door and bolted….while covered in feces.

Police are currently on the search for the man, who will be charged with "criminal attempt to make unlawful sexual contact" when/if he's found.

According to witnesses, he MAY go by the name Sky, and he's been described in the following way:

"About 20 years old, 6ft 4ins to 6ft 8ins tall, thin build, with short dark hair and wearing dark grey sweatpants and no shirt or shoes."

What a gross, upsetting story! We're just glad that the man didn't lay a finger on that woman! All she wanted to do was use the bathroom!

…Did we mention "ewwwwwwwww?"

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Smell Like Crap — Literally

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You know the saying "don't act like your shit don't stank"?

Well Jammie Nicholas is proud to say his does and he's bottling it up and charging $80!!!

Really.

Apparently his stinky idea came about when he was reading The History Of Shit by Dominique Laporte.

The French author suggested "pleasant smells were used to cover bad smells, so it could be suggested that a bad smell could be used to cover pleasant smells."

Jammie told Vice it took about a week to extract the "essential oils" from the “various raw materials” and used pipes and containers to create "jars of eau de shit".

The perfume is actually called Surplus and he's actually sold 25 of the 85 made.

Wow.

We have no words.

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