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Dick Cheney Gets A Heart Transplant!

Filed under: PolitikHealthSickSurgery

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So, so many jokes.

But we'll keep them to ourselves considering the man's condition.

Yes, former Vice President Dick Cheney underwent heart surgery, getting a new heart after being on the heart transplant list for 20 months.

He is said to be doing well.

The Cheney family gave an update on his condition by releasing the following statement:

"Although the former Vice President and his family do not know the identity of the donor, they will be forever grateful for this lifesaving gift.

Former Vice President Cheney is thankful to the teams of doctors and other medical professionals at Inova Fairfax and George Washington University Hospital for their continued outstanding care."

The 70-year-old has suffered five heart attacks since 1978.

Good to hear he's recuperating well, though.

Get some rest before you go out and enjoy that new heart of yours!

[Image via WENN.]

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Gore's Whore Speaks!!!

Filed under: Al GoreSad Sad

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This is getting UGLY!

In the aftermath of his separation with his wife, Al Gore is now facing accusations of not only cheating on his wife, but sexually assaulting another woman!

And that woman is ready to SPILL!

Molly Hagerty is the 54-year-old massage therapist claiming to have been assaulted by the former vice president. She sat down with the National Enquirer to declare that Al is "not what people think he is - he's a sick man!"

She goes on the record, calling Al a "sexual predator" and "pervert", and demands that the police launch a full investigation into her claims. If they need a little ammunition, she's got that too! Molly reveals that she has secret hotel video surveillance and the DNA evidence to support her claims!

We're having a really hard time believing this, mostly because we just don't want to. But if we've learned anything this past year, we've learned not to judge a book by its cover - or trust a scumbag with power!

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Dick Cheney Hospitalized AGAIN

Filed under: Super SeniorsPolitik

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Former Vice President Dick Cheney was hospitalized over the weekend with a heart related medical condition.

After complaining of not feeling well on Friday, his doctors at George Washington University advised him to admit himself to the hospital.

Cheney has a long history with heart disease, including five heart attacks - the last one occurring just a few months ago.

Luckily, his daughter Liz Cheney says that he is feeling better and could come home as soon as Monday after receiving medication to treat fluid buildup related to his aggressive form of heart disease.

Feel better!

[Image via Carrie Devorah/WENN.]

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