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Heidi Withdraws Divorce Filings!

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And once again, a psychotic, famewhoring publicity stunt true love prevails!

Thank goodness!

The Real Heidi Doll has officially called off her divorce from Spencer Twatt!

We don't even want to THINK about how these two morons are going to try and top this mess.

We know! How about you pull the ultimate publicity stunt and go away forever!

You'll get SO much press! It's brilliant! Now go and do it!

[Image via Pacific Coast News Online.]

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Welcome To El Lay, Jordan!

Filed under: KnifestylesJordan

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First stop - Botox!

At least she hasn't lost sight of her priorities!

Jordan Katie Price is in town this week and yesterday she was spotted stopping off at the "dentist" in Beverly Hills. Her "dentist" will have hopefully injected some happiness into the gloom/doom face she has there.

Oh, what other fun adventures will Katie have while she is here? Is Heidi Montag back in town?! We're still waiting for our duet!!!

[Image via WENN.]

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Speidi Has Been Sharing (And Trashing) A Rental Home All Summer!

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Wait! These two were LYING?! NO way!

What do you mean it was all a publicity stunt?!

No shit! DUH!

Now that The Real Heidi Doll and Spencer Twatt have ended their bullshit divorce proceedings 'rekindled' their true and glorious love, new details about their obnoxious, famewhoring sham are surfacing - including that the morons have been sharing a Malibu rental home all summer - and they TRASHED it!

A source reveals:

"Heidi and Spencer made some very expensive upgrades to the house, without the owner’s permission. Wanting to keep prying eyes away, they planted 20 foot tall trees along the front of the house against the wall. They also took it upon themselves to change the pool from chlorine to salt water which was very, very expensive. Heidi and Spencer fired the gardener that the owner had in place when they moved in. They did so because they have four small dogs and they complained that the gardener was leaving the gate open and letting them out so they brought in their own gardener. The gardner they brought in didn't do as good a job as the previous one and the grounds are having to be brought back to how lush and beautiful they were prior to Heidi and Spencer moving in. They put down a much bigger security deposit because they have four dogs. The dogs peed on a $15,000 carpet and Heidi and Spencer threw it out without telling the owner. Spencer really loved the house but all of a sudden the owner was notified that they were moving to Costa Rica."

Is this actually shocking to anyone?

Anyone? Bueller?

We think the property owner should just be grateful that these two wastes of silicone and oxygen didn't stick around!

In fact, let's all pray that they've relocated to Costa Rica for good!

As long as they're not here terrorizing us with their insanity and bullshit!

Good riddance!

[Image via Pacific Coast News Online.]

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Heidi Montag's Mother Launches A Blog!

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Oh, shiz! Do we have a Michael Lohan 2.0 on our hands?

We're surprised ourselves to say no!

Heidi Montag's mother, Darlene Egelhoff, launched a self-help blog earlier in the month called Metamorphosis of a Mother, chronicling her life as a parent and her relationship with her children.

We immediately assumed this was just another way to ca$h in on their famewhoring daughter, but Egelhoff rarely even brings her up, and instead writes - quite personally, at times - about her insecurities and regrets as a parent!

In one entry, however, she mentions The Real Heidi Doll - and that infamous clip on The Hills where she learns of her daughter's plastic surgery - and it says:

Heidi hasn’t spoken to me in six months most likely because in her mind I betrayed and hurt her and likely because she’s assuming the worst of me. I handled her situation poorly and regretfully. God knows my motives were from the heart and out of desperation to save her from what I felt was a destructive, dangerous path being influenced by people who were profiting and benefitting from her. I have no way of contacting her. And yes, admittedly I do hope she reads this and knows how deeply and achingly I love and miss her & she’ll call me. Knowing in my heart I said what I thought might have the best chance of getting through to her, to MAKE her know that her precious, authentic self was the most beautiful of all God’s creations, doesn’t help my endless, sleepless nights or my ruminating thoughts of how I should have done things differently. I hurt as much as is humanly possible daily. I share this not only because it’s the elephant in the room but also because it is a deep part of my daily struggle and it would be remiss not to mention it at least here. I wish you could know her the way we know her… that’s a love letter for another time (:

Who knew that someone who created HER could be so poignant?

We're impressed, bb!

And we can only imagine how hard it's been to see this happen to your child!

Keep writing! We imagine a lot of other parents can relate to your struggles as a mother - just not the ones regarding Frankentittays!

[Image via WENN.]

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The Real Heidi Doll Claims That Her FrankenTittays Are Crushing Her!

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Just like the skin on your over-sized tittays, our sympathy only stretches so thin, bb!

The Real Heidi Doll finally realized what a complete monstrosity she has made herself, and is bitching every chance she can get about how much she regrets her ridiculous ELECTIVE plastic surgery procedures.

She says:

"My boobs are crushing me. They are totally too big and it's impossible to work out - they get in the way when I try to exercise. I have to wear two sports bras to run! It's heartbreaking. I can't live an everyday life. I can't hug my dogs anymore. Especially with my face in the condition it's in, I can't get up close or kiss them. Of they were to hit my nose I wouldn't be able to get it fixed again! I have to be really careful. I feel like a porcelain doll. I see so many things that I want to wear and can't I definitely didn't think about that part when I signed up for the surgery."

How tragic and devastating!

Except for the tiny little reality THAT SHE DID THIS TO HERSELF!

Whatevs. Soon she'll have them reduced and can whine about how painful the recovery is and blah blah blah!

We just think it's so tragic that she's willing to put her body through so much just for press.

Sad.

Thoughts??

[Image via Pacific Coast News Online.]

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