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'Gunman' Kidnaps Himself; Demands Stuffed-Crust Pizza And Paris Hilton's Hand In Marriage

Fredrick Denney And Paris Hilton Will Not Wed

Are those wedding bells we hear for Paris Hilton??

Uhh, no. Those are police sirens! Coming for Fredrick Denney!

The 61 year-old shirtless North Carolinian caused a disturbance at a Hampton Inn this weekend before barricading himself into a hotel room and refusing to cooperate with police.

He then lied to the cops about possessing a gun and said he wouldn't come out until certain, huh, demands were met.

His list??

A pizza.

And Paris Hilton as his bride.

Whaaaat??

We wish this were a deleted scene from Airheads but, no, this is really what what Mizter Denney demanded as ransom… for himself.

Come on, bro!

If you want to win the lady over, at least stay at one of her Daddy's hotels!!

A Hampton Inn?? As if!

The gunless gunman was eventually pepper sprayed into submission. He now faces several charges including "intoxicated and disorderly" and "terrible, horrible judgement."

[Image via Ramey Pix & Gaston County Sheriff's Office.]

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