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Another Baby On The Way For Levi Johnston?!

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Seriously?! AGAIN, you dumbass??

Someone needs to steralize this douche!

The National Enquirer is reporting that Bristol Palin's baby daddy, Levi Johnston may have impregnated another girl while he and Sexy Sarah's daughter were separated - his former girlfriend, Lanesia Garcia!

However, the paternity of the unborn child is still up in the air, because it could be from another ex-boyfriend!

Bristol is reportedly livid, and according to a source:

"She just found out about Lanesia's pregnancy and is freaking out. He told her that getting back with Lanesia wasn't serious - it was brief, just a fling and ended months ago. But Bristol is questioning the engagement. She's really jealous. Lanesia's planning to do a paternity test after the baby is born. She's extremely embarrassed she doesn't know who the father is."

Wow! This gutter troll sounds like just as much a winner as Bristol!

Let's all just take a moment to pray that Levi has not once again spawned, for the sake of that poor unborn child! It's a travesty enough that there already is an infant in the world who will grow up that has to know him as "Daddy."

And for goodness sake, will SOMEONE ship some effing condoms up to Alaska?! This is getting ridiculous!

Thoughts??

[Image via WENN.]

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Ke$ha Supports Animal Rights, Is Still Nasty

Filed under: Icky Icky PooKe$ha

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How the eff does she take something completely lovely and simple - perhaps even admirable - and make it nasty and trashy?

That horrific swamp skank Ke$ha wants the world to know that she supports animal rights, but of course she expresses it in the grossest way possible.

She explains:

"I just love animals, and I'm an advocate for animals' rights, and my family has rescued dogs from all over the world. I don't believe in animal testing. If you see me in fur, it's always fake. Sometimes you see me wearing skulls, but those are all from roadkill."

Barf and BARF.

That being said, we think roadkill animal skulls would be super seksi, bb - just make sure to accessorize it with another pearl necklace!

Bwa ha ha.

[Image via WENN.]

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Homewrecker Got Paid BIG TIME For Celebrity Rehab Appearance!

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Are you kidding? Was she seriously THAT in demand?

Sources close to the production of Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew claimed that professional homewrecker and slam pig Rachel Uchitel originally turned down an offer to appear on the reality show, but producers bumped up her paycheck to $500,000 so she'd agree to be treated for her addiction to sleeping with married men pills!

WTF?

Well, we suppose girl's gotta do something to stay relevant! Looks like they offered more to her than The Donald!

Horrific.

Thoughts?? Who do U think she's going to try and fuck in the Celebrity Rehab house?

Our money is on crackhead Jeremy London!

[Image via WENN.]

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Ke$ha Does A Shout-Out To Keep More Filthy PiXXX Private!

Filed under: Icky Icky PooMusic MinuteKe$ha

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Well, thank goodness this is over with! We already lost enough of our lunch yesterday!

The lovely and fresh-faced Ke$ha showed the world what a truly elegant young lady she is, yesterday when a photo of her naked and covered in jizz (we believe the polite term is called a 'Pearl Necklace') surfaced on the net, reportedly by DJ Stolen!

We've just received word that Stolen had MORE pictures of the filthy gutter troll doing what she apparently does best, so she sent him this message:

"hey i would love to do a shout out for you…

how bout this… you keep my private pictures private, and ill give you a shout out/ drop… whatever you need for your dj set

why dont you hit up my manager at ****

cool?"

We're relieved to announce that DJ Stolen agreed, kept the world safe from having to view that nasty shiz, and now has a lovely new track with a nice little opening message from Ke$ha!

Listen at the :10 mark to hear it (below)!

Thoughts?

[Image via AP Images.]

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Losers Unite!

Filed under: Icky Icky PooTV NewsMichael Lohan

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We knew when we heard these two were together that there was going to be trouble…

Now that Lindsanity will be behind bars where she belongs, Michael Lohan obviously needs some horrible slam pig one to leech on to so he can continue famewhoring and being an all around douchey scumbag!

Of course, it's no surprise that to do so, he's chosen to collaborate with not only his gutter troll fiance, Kate Major, but Rachel Uchitel and Homewrecking Hailey on a television show!

Kate Major reveals:

“Rachel is going to be helping us out with our TV show that we’re working on for the month of August. Rachel befriended me on Facebook because she is mutual friends with our manager David Weintraub. It’s going to be a live interactive show set at our house in New York. There are four different charity events and all the proceeds will be going to charity.”

So we're going to have to endure a TV series of not only Homewrecking Hailey getting fucked up and passing out in plants, Michael Lohan being Michael Lohan (that's bad enough), but the inevitable cat fight that will go down after Kate realizes that Rachel is having sex with him?!

We think we'll pass.

What do U think?? Do U want to watch all these losers unite to terrorize TV?

[Image via WENN.]

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Diva Demands: Ke$ha Edition!

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We're not surprised! She probably is just trying to figure out what kind of mutated swamp creature she's (and we use this term loosely) evolved from!

Gutter troll Ke$ha has apparently forgone the usual RIDICULOUS list of demands that many performers require backstage at venues in order to have some seriously bizarre shiz on hand to satisfy her greasy needs!

According to Life & Style:

"An insider tells us that the pop star requested glitter, hot dogs, and philosophical books on the origins of species in her dressing room at the MuchMusic Awards in Toronto on June 20."

Seems perfectly reasonable to us!

Who doesn't love chowing down on hot dogs while contemplating evolutionary theory?? That Ke$ha, she's such a thinker!

LOLs!

Thoughts??

[Image via WENN.]

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Gerard Butler Gets Another Shot Of Lindsanity?!

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Bleck!

What do you get when you combine one tough strain of Scottish herpes and and some serious methface with a bag of excuses??

Lindsanity and Gerard Buttplug!

The gruesome twosome were spotted embracing at a friend's Beverly Hills pool party over the weekend, and we can only hope that these two nasty gutter trolls stay FAR away from each another!

Could U imagine the super-STD these two would create if they joined forces?? We cower at the mere thought of it!

LOLz!

[Image via WENN.]

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