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Girl Power! Dad Hacks Donkey Kong So Daughter Can Play Princess!

So cool!

When Mike Mika's 3-year-old daughter was playing Donkey Kong and asked if she could play the girl and save Mario for a change, he hated to break it to her. He says:

"She's played as Princess Toadstool in Super Mario Bros. 2 and naturally just assumed she could do the same in Donkey Kong."

So what did he do? Give up? Heck no! The tech-savvy dad hacked the ROM and changed the rules!

Ch-ch-check out the video (above) for a taste of his reprogrammed Nintendo game!

This time the damsel in distress is going to save the day! Well, with a little help from the BEST DAD EVER!

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Jennifer Love Desperate Plugs Her Lifetime Hooker Movie!

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Jennifer Love Hewitt, you are absolutely shameless, and we LOVE IT!

It gives us something to LOL about all day long! Bwa ha ha!

The hacktress, whose shiteous show Ghost Whisperer died TWO deaths after both CBS and ABC axed it from their line-ups, is now desperately attempting to promote her Homecoming Queen Hooker movie on Lifetime like it's the next big Oscar contender!

She gushes:

"It's really a movie about the human condition, and the heart, and where life can take you. [Samantha] has no choice at the end of the day but to give everything that she can in order to take care of her family. She really thinks she's doing the best thing possible for them, and it just gets out of hand. … It takes her on a rollercoaster ride."

How insightful! We're sure the production value is only rivaled by your surely nuanced and poignant performance, bb!

And, of course, because girlfriend is such a serious method actor, she took pole-dancing classes to prep for her next profession the role! She claims that it "really, really gets you in shape [and] it also really teaches you about your inner sexuality."

Thank you for once again sharing with the world your wealth of desperation information!

[Image via WENN.]

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Dirty Hooker Chic?

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Ugh.

Is this what she considers method-acting?

Some may assume that WhatsHerFace was trying to get into character for her upcoming role - as an HIV positive teenage junkie stripper in Rent - while she did the walk of shame yesterday out in EL Lay, but we know better!

She's getting used to being common street trash! She's going to need to hard when everyone realizes what a talentless hack she is and she has to resort to turning tricks!

Put some effing shoes on!!

[Image via Limelight.]

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Abomination! WhatsHerFace Cast As Mimi In Rent!

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Neil Patrick Harris, what the eff are you THINKING??

We were actually looking forward to this!

The usually very logical actor is directing the latest production of Rent this summer at the Hollywood Bowl, and has ruined EVERYTHING already by casting the atrocious WhatsHerFace in the role of Mimi!

And he thinks she does the role justice! BARF.

He said:

"She came in for a work session, and I must say, Vanessa really impressed. She looks amazing, has great vocal chops and seems really committed to honoring the somewhat iconic role of Mimi. I look forward to audiences seeing a dark, edgy and very different side of Vanessa Hudgens this August."

Ugh. We can't even THINK about that shiteous little hack attempting to warble through Out Tonight or Goodbye Love without wanting to vomit!

Under normal circumstances we would never dream to be this bold, but this is the one time we think they should take creative license in the show and let her character croak at the end!

You don't fool us for a second, NPH! We KNOW this is just some backwards way to get Zefron into your life!

Our mood is so officially soured. Boo!

[Image via WENN.]

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Photoshop Awardz: WhatsHerFace On The Beastly Poster

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Look! The hack got a job!

The shiteous latest retelling of Beauty and the Beast, which, given its lead is ironically titled Beastly, has just gotten a one-sheet, and with the exception of WhatsHerFace, it doesn't look nearly as bad as expectedl!

And even SHE looks somewhat presentable - mostly because it looks nothing like her!

Multiple kudos to the poor Photoshop tech who no doubt had to slave away for hours attempting to make her look somewhat good.

That being said: her co-star Alex Pettyfer is SEKSI!

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Lily Allen Blows Off Fundraiser Performance To Get Drunk Elsewhere!

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Oh, Lily Allen!!

Just when we think you can't sink any lower, you DO!!

The British trainwreck was set to perform at the ICA Annual Fundraising Gala Wednesday night in Londontown when she pulled out at the last minute, claiming she had come down with tonsillitis! However, Allen was allegedly spotted only HOURS later knocking drinks back and pAArtying away at the club The Social!!

Nothing soothes the throat like eight to ten shots of tequila, right??

Absolutely despicable.

Way to honor your commitments, you hack!!

[Image via WENN.]

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Bethenny Forces Wedding Guests To Sign A Contract!

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Ugh! Oh PLEASE! You're not that famous, you hack!

Obnoxious famewhore Real Housewife Bethenny Frankel is so apparently so concerned about her wedding photos that she doesn't approve leaking to the press that she's having her guests sign a confidentiality agreement banning them from taking pics during the ceremony!!

WTF??

God forbid your baby belly is snapped at the wrong angle, right, bb??

Sorry to burst your bubble, but we doubt anyone's that interested!!

[Image via WENN.]

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