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Lance Armstrong Also Lied To Oprah About USADA Donation Offers??

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UGH.

Just stop lying, Lance Armstrong! You took the right step, but you just couldn't come clear on everything, could you??

First we talked about the major possibility that Lance lied to Oprah about not doping after 2005 — probably because the statute of limitations hasn't run out on those cases.

Now, we're hearing that Lance lied about not offering the USADA a shady donation in the range of $200,000 to $250,000. Here's what Lance said:

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Lindsay Lohan Losing Sweet Rehab Deal?! Begging Lawyer To Return?!

Filed under: Lindsay LohanLegal Matters

Lindsay Lohan always pulls fast and furious at her Jenga game of life, but girl may have finally picked the wrong piece and her tower is about to topple the f*ck over…

Because when Lilo FIRED her longtime lawyer Shawn Holley yesterday — most likely because she can't afford her anymore — Shawn was apparently in transit to the courthouse to meet with the prosecutor AND the judge in order to arrange a rehab plea deal for ALL crimes being charged against Lindz!!

BUT, as we reported yesterday, Our Lady of Perpetual Chaos FIRED Shawn and traded her in for a notorios NYC Lawyer with a questionable history in practicing law.

We hear that if Shawn had made it to the courthouse yesterday, she could have secured a deal where

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Dark Knight Gunman James Holmes WILL Stand Trial!

Filed under: Legal MattersR.I.P.Health

Thank goodness!

James Holmes, the man who mercilessly killed 12 people during a Dark Knight Rises screening in Aurora, CO last July WILL stand trial for his "alleged" crimes, or so said Colorado District Judge William Sylvester Thursday night.

Holmes was expected to make a plea during today's scheduled arraignment, but the hearing has been postponed until March 12.

Apparently, Holmes' lawyers claim their client is mentally ill and needs more time to enter a plea.

Copious amounts of evidence link Holmes to the shootings, and as we've previously reported, Holmes has already been charged with 24 counts of murder and 116 counts of attempted murder in an untelevised hearing.

IF James is convicted, he could face the death penalty. If he is found not guilty because of his questionable mental state, he could be sent to an institution for the criminally insane.

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Laurence Fishburne Granted Restraining Order!!

Filed under: Icky Icky PooLegal Matters

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If there is one universal constant, it's that you don't mess with Morpheus! LOLz!

Laurence Fishburne wasn't about to be told he was squatting in his own home, so he took the proper steps to protect him and his family — he got a restraining order against the man who claimed "rightful ownership" to his home!

That shizz is CRAY. You can't even make that up!!

Not only did this wacko show up in person, but he also left a handwritten letter in the mailbox telling Laurence and his fam to "evacuate ASAP." We'd say that's more than grounds for a restraining order!

The man, Anthony Francis, 52, has a criminal record — he had already faced charges of cyber stalking and making criminal threats, so cops advised Laurence to get a restraining order.

Francis is currently required to stay at least 100 yards away from Fishburne, Torres and their daughter. A hearing to decide to make the restraining order permanent is scheduled for Jan. 23. We hope it is!

So scary!!

[Image via WENN.]

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Lindsay Lohan Maintains That She's The "Victim" As She Prepares For New York Court Visit TODAY!

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Lindsay Lohan has been ringing in the New Year by pAArtying all over London for the past week, and now, we have the sneaking suspicion that doing so has pretty much used up all of the 'good things' for which she had hoped to come in 2013!

Because callous, cold grasp of REALITY is about to come a knockin' for our troubled starlet…TODAY!

That's right, today is the day that Our Lady of Perpetual Chaos is expected back in an NYC courtroom to face up to the misdemeanor assault charges she incurred when she allegedly punched psychic Tiffany Mitchell at Avenue Lounge back in late November, and depending on how the wind is blowing today, prosecution could very well plan to file!

Of course, as we all know her frustratingly typical song and dance after consecutive six years of it, Lindsay is asserting - through her New York lawyer, Mark Heller - that she is OBVIOUSLY the victim here:

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Jay Mohr Lands Midday Hosting Gig For Fox Sports Radio!

Filed under: TV News

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Congrats, Jay Mohr!

We're hearing that Fox News Sports has made a very sound decision, and is adding Jay to their midday host lineup!

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Twilight's Bronson Pelletier DENIES Public Intoxication & Drug Possession Arrests!

Filed under: DrugsLegal MattersTwilightTaylor Lautner

Bronson Pelletier Denies Public Intoxication Urination

Despite multiple arrests, Twilight actor, Bronson Pelletier, is insisting that he's done NOTHING wrong!

We previously mentioned that the flick's wolf pack member had been arrested for not only public intoxication, but also for possession of meth and cocaine just one week earlier!

Bronson has now spoken up about the situations and is claiming that he was setup and that neither of the events happened!

Yesterday, when asked about his public urination at the airport gate, Bronson responded:

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