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From Housewife to Stripper!

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Well, you can take the Prostitution Whore out of the Real Housewives of New Jersey…but chances are, she'll still be a Prostitution Whore!

That's right, former castmember and token crazy person Danielle Staub may have had her ass kicked to the curb by Bravo for undoubtedly being a liability to her co-stars' safety, but now that the Jafar-less season has started, gurlfriend obviously had to make sure that everyone still has her in their thoughts…which is why it should come as no surprise that she has reportedly signed a three-year deal with Scores Gentleman's Club in New York to work as a stripper!

Apparently, she'll also be appearing on their website, ScoresLive.com!

ClASSy as always, gurl! We bet your teenage daughters are absolutely THRILLED!

But hey! As long as she's there, it means she's not on reality TV!

And we think we can all agree - especially after how AWESOME last night's episode was despite her absence - that this is for the best!

What do U think?? Did U like the season premiere of Real Housewives of New Jersey??

[Image via WENN.]

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Teresa Promises Big Time Tears And Family Drama On Real Housewives Of New Jersey!

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Wow!

We knew that Bravo was going to try and keep the drama amped even though they lost the shitstorm of insanity liability that is Danielle Staub, but they may have actually done it!

We've been anxiously awaiting the premiere of the third season of the glory that is The Real Housewives of New Jersey, and castmember Teresa Giudice recently opened up about her relationship to the new additions, her cousin Kathy Wakile and estranged sister-in-law Melissa Gorga, who will force the reality starlet to expose a side of herself on the series that she has yet to so far!

Teresa explains about her new co-star:

"You're going to see a totally different side of me. It's really sad. I cry a lot on the show and it's very hard for me. I wanted [my brother] to get married so bad. [My brother and I] always said we wanted our kids to grow up together. And I really wanted her to become the sister I never had."

Wow! Sounds like some serious family drama!

Maybe all of those reports about the baptism debacle were true!

If so, we have a feeling that this premiere is going to hit the ground running, and HARD!

Danielle who?! LOLz!

What do U think?? Will U be tuning in for The Real Housewives of New Jersey??

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Separated At Birth

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Left: Adam Lambert at the 28th Annual ASCAP Pop Music Awards Right: Jafar from Aladdin

Do U see any similarities???

All kidding aside, while we're not feeling the facial hair, Adam's head of hair is looking fierce!

[Adam image via Getty Images.]

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Teresa Giudice Denies Rumors That Husband Has A Love Child!

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We hope for her family's sake that she's right!

The Real Housewives of New Jersey's Teresa Giudice has shot down rumors that her husband, Joe, had a love child with another woman, and claims she would not be too pleased if that evil Prostitution Whore is behind the gossip - which - let's be real - she most likely is!

Giudice says:

“I hope it’s not Danielle. It’s so crazy that I can brush it off. I don’t even think about it. I guess that’s when you know you’re really a star when people start making up things. What’s the next thing? Are we doing drugs? I think I heard that’s the next one. We’re both positive people and we don’t let the negative get to us. That’s why we’re so happy together. We’re totally in sync and amazing together. We’ve been married 10 years and I’m still so attracted to him. I look at him and I’m like, ‘Wow he’s hot!’ I think he feels the same way about me. I love his body, I love his muscles.”

Watch out with the joking about drugs, bb!

That's how Jafar works! She takes little things and twists them into something awful and crazy and that becomes the truth in her coke fucking whore little brain!

And she won't stop until she gets that magic lamp back on the show!

LOLs!

What do U think?? Did Juicy Joe have an affair?

[Image via WENN.]

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Post-Real Housewives Reunion! Did Teresa's Husband Have A Love Child?!

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Oh, that Prostitution Whore really did it this time! Shiz is getting REAL!

For those of you who live under a rock, the first portion of The Real Housewives of New Jersey's much anticipated reunion episode aired last night, and from the first 30 seconds on it was pretty much a shit storm of Danielle Staub denying that she said things six seconds after she said them, crazy coke fucking whore delusions, and our personal hero Caroline Manzo keeping it real (and FIERCE) without losing an ounce of class!

However, what's gotten everyone talking is something that happened relatively early on involving our favorite loose cannon, Teresa Giudice!

What started off as a mildly bitchy cat fight between Danielle and Jacqueline Laurita over Jafar not congratulating her former friend over the birth of her son turned borderline INSANE when the Prostitution Whore set her sights on Teresa, and this little gem of malice and instability slithered out of her lips:

"Did you acknowledge your nephew? Did you?"

That shiz sent gurlfriend OFF THE WALL and into a serious rage blackout, but before it could get physical, host Andy Cohen pulled the plug!

Everything had to be halted.

Teresa cooled her cooter, Andy Cohen changed out of his soiled pants, Caroline rolled her eyes, poor, sweet Jacqueline wondered what her life would have been like if she never left Las Vegas, Danielle pretended to be a lesbian and did some ridiculous mantra backstage for attention, and the show moved along without acknowledging the situation further.

SO.

Everyone is now wondering what the eff kind of crazy Miz Jafar was talking about, so we put our sleuthing hats on and get investigating!

There have been MANY rumblings in the Housewives' town that Teresa's bankrupt husband, Joe Giudice, has been seeing a lady on the side, and may have even fathered a child with her!

The woman, who is only known thus far as Tara G., apparently lives in a condo, is supported by Joe and openly displays photos of the two together.

All of this was uncovered by the evil Prostitution Whore, who allegedly used the Private Investigator she pretended to employ on the show to locate her birth mother - whom we're still PRAYING, in a brilliant twist by BRAVO, is actually her nightmarish frenemy Kim G. - to ACTUALLY dig up dirt on the Manzos, the Giudices, and Laurita!

Out. Of. Control.

Of course, this could be another crazy, out of control fantasy that trickled out of whatever is left of Danielle's unstable, drug and STD addled brain, but either way, we could certainly understand why Teresa lost it the way she did - especially if it's being falsely spread all over their town!

INSANITY!

We knew that Coke Fucking Whore would go out with a bang! We LOVE it!

Certainly makes for interesting television!

But at the end of the day, we're thrilled this psychopath will be off the show! She clearly has no conscience or empathy for anyone or anything beyond what services her immediate needs!

Bitch needs to be locked up! ASAP!

Thoughts?? What do U think actually went down??

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Prostitution Whore Goes After Ex-Husband And His Lawsuit!

Filed under: Icky Icky PooReality TV

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The dark and twisted depth of her insanity is never-ending, is it?!

We reported last week that the (ex!) Real Housewives of New Jersey's Danielle Staub had been sued by her ex-husband, Kevin Maher, for $5 million because of all of the crazy - and possibly untrue - shiz she claimed he did to her!

If you recall, Prostitution Whore was featured quite unfavorably in his autobiography, Cop Without a Badge, and so in attempt to do damage control to her castmates and the press, she reportedly accused him of all kinds of things - like forcing her to play Russian Roulette, rape, and killing her dog!

We're hearing NOW that Jafar has actually turned around and filed legal documents against MAHER, alleging that there is no proof that she made any of the aforementioned 'damaging' claims against him, and even if she had, it wouldn't make him appear in any worse a light, because he openly admits in Cop Without a Badge that he had a cocaine problem, was violent, and an all-around manwhore!

That's right! Having a drug problem is pretty much on par with rape and dog murder! All that shiz you said isn't damaging to his reputation at all, is it, Prostitution Whore?

The two are currently attempting to settle, but if that doesn't work, expect a trial in February!

Holy shiz! Can U imagine what that psycho would lie about in court?!

We almost want it to happen to hear what she'll say under oath! You know, if we didn't want her to just go away forever and never return.

What do U think?? Team Prositution Whore or Team Ex-Husband??

[Image via WENN.]

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Good Riddance, Prostitution Whore!

Filed under: Icky Icky PooReality TV

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Of course she's not going to get a spin-off! She's a legitimate psychopath and a liability to Bravo!

Ever since it was announced the Prostitution Whore Coke Fucking Whore Jafar from Aladdin's long lost twin Danielle Staub would not be returning to The Real Housewives of New Jersey for its third season, she's been ranting about her potential spin-off, and even hinting that she may join the cast of The Real Housewives of New York!

We assumed that it was all about as delusional as her constant claims that her former castmates are attempting to murder her wherever she goes, but now we've had it CONFIRMED.

Sources close to Bravo are reporting that producers of the show are so fed up with Staub's out of control antics that not only did they fire her right before they filmed the Reunion episode - just to ensure she'd be at her most batshit finest - but that nobody at the network wants anything to do with her in any capacity! And apparently, the castmembers of New York have threatened to walk if they try and put her on!

Bwa ha ha!

And even if Bravo fell on its head and stopped thinking rationally long enough to even consider keeping her around, Staub's ex-husband Tom has reportedly filed for primary custody of their daughter, the little cutie pie Jillian (that poor child), which has effed up the proper work permits - that would allow her to be filmed - from being filed!

So if you hear good ole' Prostitution Whore ranting about all of her various opportunities or 'spin-offs,' it's BULLSHIZ!

LOLs!

Good riddance, Prostitution Whore! And take your busted horcruxes weave with you!

[Image via WENN.]

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