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Jennifer Love Desperate Chopped Off Her Hair!

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As a plea for attention response to her breakup with Jamie Kennedy, Jennifer Love Hewitt showed off a much shorter 'do while she visiting a friend in Brentwood on Saturday.

And what's your problem, sour puss?!

Everyone is snapping pics of you, isn't that what you want?!

[Image via Fame Pictures.]

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Girls With Low Self-Esteem: Jennifer Love Hewitt Edition

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Now that Jennifer Love Desperate and that crypt-keeper Jamie Kennedy have ended their beautiful romance, girlfriend is freaking out over the devastating realization that she is SINGLE and trying to promote a self-help book on relationships, The Day I Shot Cupid: Hello, My Name is Jennifer Love Hewitt and I'm a Desperate Hack Love-aholic!!

HA. We love cruel irony.

The saddest girl in the entire world says:

"Back in the shark tank! I never said in the book that I knew how to be in the perfect relationship. I say in my book I want to be the readers' kind spirit out in the dating world. And now, more than ever, I am. I don't like to go out to clubs and party. I'm not into 'Let's go out with one guy on a Monday and another guy on a Wednesday' – that's just not me. I'm a relationship kind of girl. I like a twosome. Some people get excited about being single. I don't."

We NOTICED. You'll date just about ANYTHING to avoid having to sleep alone at night, won't you??

HOWEVER, you can't deny that clutching your body pillow tonight will be a lot more comfortable than that mutant Kennedy!

Desperate is also wants us all to be comforted by how mature she and her ex are while they work together on her SHITEOUS show Ghost Whisperer.

"We've parted as friends. There's no anger, there's no upset, there's no enemies. It's been totally fine. It's really a testament to who he is and to who I am. We're both grown-ups."

HA. Yeah, we're sure it's sooo amicable.

Who wants to place bets on how long it takes before his character is horribly and violently killed off?

Girlfriend closes with:

"I want to be an independent woman who falls in love, finds a great partner for her lifetime, has kids and kind of does it all. I'd like to have it all."

Who else thinks that she, the Simpleton, and MANiston need to form a knitting circle??

They can all talk about their overbearing need to find self-worth and validation from douchebags!! Or all the freaky shiz John Mayer tried to make them do in bed!!

Bwa ha ha.

[Image via WENN.]

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Jennifer Love Desperate And Jamie Kennedy Broken Up - For Real This Time?

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We have a feeling this might be true!

Rumor has it that Jennifer Love Hewitt and boyfriend Jamie Kennedy have called it quits — months ago!

Could that be why we saw her on Valentine's Day alone?

They were supposed to attend an event together last week, but Jamie showed up alone. He also skipped her 31st birthday last month!

We wonder which D-lister she'll cling to next!

[Image via Chris Connor / WENN.]

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Jennifer Love Desperate Gets The Role She Was Born To Play!

Filed under: TV NewsJennifer Love Hewitt

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A prostitute!

Jennifer Love Hewitt has hit the big time! The actress will portray a hooker in a new TV movie!

"It's (film) is sort of like Erin Brockovich in a brothel," she said.

Everyone around her is very excited about seeing her true colors gritty acting!

"It's time for her to start showing everyone what I already know," said her very excited boyfriend, Jamie Kennedy.

Ha! We look forward to seeing her in action!

[Image via WENN.]

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