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Prepare Your Jeans: It's The Return Of Jenna Rose!

Filed under: Icky Icky PooSad SadYouTube

In life, we have to choose sides. Good or Evil? Red Sox or Yankees? Team Jacob or Team Edward?

But if you are under the age of 14, there is a new war waging and you need to swear your allegiance one way or the other:

Rebecca Black … or Jenna Rose!

Hollywood seems to have already made their choice, having their girl Friday star in huge music videos and host red carpet events. But that doesn't mean the paramount that is Jenna Rose has given up. She's ready to fight dirty to make it to the top. Real dirty.

Case in point, here is her new music video and single, Time Of Our Lives. (above) We'd like to remind all of you at home that this CHILD is 13-years-old. Keep that in mind as you watch her get into a bitch slapping fight, hang out on a street corner and steal moves from Scores.

HA, HA, HA, HA - JACK MY SWAG! Get it?

Also, if you make it past the 30 second mark, could you please tell us what happens? We just couldn't do it. Our eyes … JUST NO!

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Another Tween Sensation From The Ark Music Factory - And She Actually Has Real Potential!

Holy crap. There's a tween sensation from the Ark Music Factory that might actually might have a shot at a legitimate music career!

It may not match the glory that is Rebecca Black's Friday, nor the discomforting 'she's too young' feel of anything Jenna Rose has come out with, but we actually want you to check out this charming little song and music video from 14-year-old Alana Lee Hamilton, called Butterflies (above)!

This girl is too cute! And the song is surprisingly decent, with the exception of the now-obligatory, mind numbing rap interlude!

Kind of has a Taylor Swift vibe, don't you think?! We're really rooting for this one!

And strangely enough, this track has reportedly hit the 124 spot on iTunes Australia, which is pretty impressive for an independent pop release with no promotion or radio play!

Here's hoping that someone will notice that she's got potential and hook her up with some legitimate writers and producers!

Keep it up, gurl!

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And The Name Of Rebecca Black's New Single Is…

Filed under: Music MinuteSilly!


Next Friday!

…just kidding! We wish it were, though!

But perhaps it's just as well that they don't eff with the original!

However, as we've reported, Rebecca Black DOES have a new single in the work, now revealed to be called LOL, and is apparently recording even more tracks at the Flying Pig Productions studio in El Lay, although she doesn't have a record deal just yet!

And unlike some of the other kids from The Ark Music Factory (ahem, Miz Jenna Rose) she wants to stay focused on performing songs and filming music videos that are age-appropriate!

She explains:

"I like the fact I am singing like a 13-year-old girl, not trying to be anything else. I would consider some [songs on the album] teenage love songs but I want to keep it appropriate and clean. People were saying, 'You're the worst singer, this is the worst song.' They criticized my voice and the lyrics. But I call them negative Nancies. They can try to rain on my parade but as far as I'm concerned they are raining on their own parade."

Pretty solid attitude!

Who knows? Maybe this new single will actually be a legitimate hit!

We think she's proven that she holds a degree of staying power, as people are STILL talking about this song, so we suppose only time will tell from here on out if she's got what it takes to succeed!

Best of luck!

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O.M.G…Jenna Rose Is Back!

Filed under: Music MinuteSilly!

But we can't say we're too happy about it. This…is unsettling. And the song is NOT as catchy!

So, Jenna Rose. You know her as the spunky little chica who was elated that her jeans were worn by Hannah Montana and Ashley Tisdale. Her laugh is stale, her teeth are crooked and she stole our hearts as easily as we can say, A-B-C, 1-2-3!

But Jenna Rose has decided to start developing as an artist (and as a young lady) and has come out with a new song/video called , O.M.G., which we can honestly say was our first reaction to this mess.

The video is hyper-sexualized, uber-creepy and if you really want to talk about jacking swag, not one dance move wasn't pulled from another video circa 1998 (which she probably can't remember because she wasn't even born!!!!)

Your eyes will feel wrong for doing so, but check out the video (above) to see how Jenna Rose has, um, grown.


P.S. - Does "ARK" stand for "Aggressively Ruining Kids"? How's about you get the kid some braces instead of padding her bra?! Sickos!

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Rebecca Black, Part 3?!

Filed under: Music MinuteSilly!

OMG! How many of these kids are there???

We have yet another auspicious star to introduce you to today. From the same people who made Rebecca Black a trending topic comes…Jenna Rose!

You guys, she's like, totally awesome! She's 12, she's got a princess room and she doesn't have all her big girl teeth…yet she can drive her gaggle of girlies to the mall in her Mini-Cooper. Where's your Mini-Cooper, CJ Fam????

Check out the latest hit to come out of the Ark Music Factory, My Jeans, in the video (above)

A-B-C, 1-2-3, where the hell's this girl's mommy?!?!?!

BTW - Save your money on jeans, kids…Braces for everyone!

Also, Baby Triggy, return your bucket hat to 1995. 'Kay, thanks!

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