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Heather Locklear's Semen-ly Cheap Beauty Secret Revealed!

It's nature's BB cream!

During her appearance on Chelsea Lately, Heather Locklear joked that one of her best-kept beauty secrets is none other than semen!

Okay, perhaps, she was joking…suuuure…but who are we to judge a woman's most coveted beauty regime?

And, Heather DOES look fantastic at 51 years old, so if she isn't slathering sperm all over face, then she's definitely conjuring up some sort of concoction that may or may not include alien plasma, leprechaun tears, and the blood of a baby unicorn.

A lady never reveals her secrets!

Check out the HIGHlarious spluge bit (above)! It'll make you squirt tears of joy!

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Woman Suing Personal Trainer For JIZZING On Her During Massage!!!

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This is disgusting and absolutely AWFUL!

A woman's personal trainer at her Gold's Gym in Kansas ejaculated on her while giving her a massage!

We can't even imagine how awful that must've been.

According to a court complaint:

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Jizz On Your Nails

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How many porn stars are going to run out and get this?

BleachBlack is coming out with a new nail polish that's going to be called, wait for it, JIZZ!

The name pretty much says it all, but if you need clarification the color is going to be a pearly, milky white.

Seksi!

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