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Anderson Cooper Targeted By LAPD's Killer Cop… But Not How You Might Think!

Filed under: Anderson CooperSad SadTwitter

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As the manhunt for Christopher Dorner continues, at least one celebrity mentioned in his scathingly insane manifesto is now saying the suspected killer reached out to him.

Our much beloved Anderson Cooper was actually targeted by the former LAPD cop… but not how you might think!

Christopher sent the Silver Fox a package containing

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Racist Killer "Jesus" Thwarted By Hatchet-Wielding, Hitchhiking Hero!

Praise be to Kai, the homeless hitchhiking dude whose quick thinking may have saved LIVES!

54-year old Jett Simmons McBride rammed his car into a black PG&E worker in Fresno Monday, pinning the man between his car's hood and the back of a truck…

Why? Because Jett believed himself to be the reincarnation of Jesus Christ and he apparently thought it was his DUTY to cleanse the Earth of non-whites! CRAY CRAY CRAY CRAY.

Familiarize yourself with the situation by pressssiinggg plaaaay (above)!

The OBVIOUSLY unstable individual exited his car and attempted to PULL the injured party from his stuck position, which would have only caused more damage, but nearby citizen Tanya Baker saw what was going on and tried to stop it…

Which only caused Jett to try and SMOTHER her with a bear hug!

But thank goodness hitchhiker Kai was riding shotgun in "Jesus'" car! Kai whipped out a hatchet from his backpack and began beating Jett off of the woman! HUZZAH!

Jett is now in police custody for suspicion of attempted murder and the injured worker is recovering at a local hospital.

Someone should give Kai a good Samaritan medal or something! That's a thing, right?!

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Prince Harry Called A Drunk Killer By Warlord!

Eeee!

Prince Harry may have had one too many drAAnks during his naked Las Vegas romp, but we imagine that when it comes to his Royal Air Force responsibilities he is 100% sober and alert…

But Gulbuddin Hekmatyar, a high-powered Afghan warlord who has reportedly masterminded attacks agaisnt NATO forces in Afghanistan, recently damned the "Party Prince," calling him a drunk, murderous jackal!

Gulbuddin remarked in a rare interview conducted from his mountain hideout:

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Killer Whale Chases Dog!!

Filed under: DogWhalesDanger!

Omg! That's crazzzzy!

Some people were hanging out dangerously close to a wild killer whale and filming it.

Someone had their dog with them and was letting the pooch swim around the killer whale!

The whale eventually started to chase after the dog!

That owner was really dumb because that whale could've so easily killed the poor puppy!

They're called KILLER for a reason!

Check out the video (above) to see a dog's narrow escape!

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Etan Patz Update: Pedro Hernandez Pleads Not Guilty

Filed under: Legal Matters

Pedro Hernandez, the man who provided a unsolicited confession to police for the murder of Etan Patz in 1979, was officially charged with 1st degree kidnapping and a 2nd degree charge of murder.

However, despite his admission to police - him and his lawyer have plead Not Guilty for the murder of Patz and cite his confession as the result of Hernandez's mental disorder and general poor mental health in general.

Here's what his lawyer said:

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Woman Kills Baby And Dumps Body Minutes After Giving Birth!

Filed under: Baby BlabberLegal MattersSad Sad

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A 21-year-old woman from Orange County was just convicted of suffocating and then dumping the body of her newborn baby!

Say whaaat?? How could anyone do that?!

Juana Perez Valencia apparently killed then dumped the body of her infant only minutes after giving birth!

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O.J. Simpson Wants To Auction Off The Knife He Killed His Wife With!?

Ew! This is beyond sick — so we kind of hope this is a bunch of b.s. — but O.J. Simpson is reportedly trying to auction off the knife he used to kill Nicole Brown Simpson and Ron Goldman!

The murder weapon was never found and ended up being a key component of his acquittal, so it's worth about about $5 million to somebody out there.

A source says the convict — currently serving time for armed robbery — wants to keep the deal on the down low and explained:

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