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Hands Off Ladies! Michael Lohan Is Taken!

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A match made in reality T.V. HELL!!!

Ya'll know who Kim G. is, right? If not, turn on an episode of Real Housewives of New Jersey from last season. She's the one who doesn't own a store, but rather owns a whole lot of crazy. As she wasn't ask the cast formally this season, she's been finding new and exciting ways to keep her abbreviated name out there for the world to see. Today, she landed herself an interview to talk about the only thing that makes her relevant - Michael Lohan.

It's not a lot to go on, but it's the best that she's got!

Here's what she has to say about her whirlwind romance with Papa Lohan:

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Want To Party With Teresa Giudice?!

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C'mon, wouldn't you like to?! Gurl has bills to pay!

That's right, for the very reasonable price of $75 - apparently a portion of that also goes to charity - you can attend the Teresa Giudice's Season Three Premiere Party of The Real Housewives of New Jersey at the Tribecca Nightclub in Fort Lee, NJ, and not only receive an hour of free drinks and hor d'ouevres, but also an autographed picture with the reality star!

According to invite, expect "celebrity surprises," "fashion shows" and "star performances!"

Does that mean Michael Lohan and Kim G will be appearing to debut their new reality show/tanning line/new single/whatever they have planned?

LOL!

Yeah. We'll be sure to sign right up!

Good luck with that debt, gurl!

[Image via WENN.]

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Real Housewife Is Diggin' The Michael Lohan

Kim G and Michael Lohan

Kim Granatell is throwing caution to the wind, and dating Michael Lohan.

Here's how she put it:

"I just got back from making out with Michael Lohan in Florida. He's got a very big heart. He's a great guy."

Really?? That's how you tell us?? Ha!

Apparently she's been seeing the Father Of The Year since January, and she hasn't met Linds yet!

Well, we don't really know what to say. If you guys are truly happy together, then, we support you!

What do U think of these two pairing up??

[Image via WENN.]

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He's At It Again! Michael Lohan Turns Yacht Into Reality Show Rehab Facility!

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Good. Hopefully they can just keep him out there.

No need to dock! Ever!

Michael Lohan reportedly set out to sea last week off the coast of Florida, on a three-level yacht that has been renovated as a rehab facility for about two dozen people - including a camera crew, and The Real Housewives of New Jersey's official wannabe, Kim Granatell!

Oh yeah. That sounds like a healthy combination for a bunch of recovering addicts.

We'd be driven to drink upon arrival! LOLz!

Have fun attempting to sell your new reality show helping others, Michael!

[Images via WENN.]

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Real Housewives Of New Jersey's Teresa Has Some Pretty Shocking Feelings About Danielle!

WTF?!

This is it. Hell has frozen over. The end is coming.

The Real Housewives of New Jersey's Teresa Giudice recently sat down to discuss what's coming up next season on the smash Bravo reality series, and when asked about her nefarious former co-star Danielle Staub, she had a pretty SHOCKING response!

Ch-ch-check it out (above)!

We appreciate the sentiment, bb, but personally, we're going to have to disagree with you!

Unless producers have found someone even WORSE (dare we say Kim G?!) to succeed her, if that's possible!

Ugh. This is all a little too unsettling.

We suppose we'll know the answer soon enough.

Thoughts??

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NJ Housewife Wannabe Wants To Buy Teresa's Junk To Resell!

Filed under: Reality TV

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Boy, this bitch is so desperate to get on TV, she puts Jeremy London to shame!

If you've been an avid viewer of this season of The Real Housewives of New Jersey, you know who Kim Granatell is and what a two-faced, raggedy nobody she is. To keep you up to speed, she befriended Danielle Staub's trainwreck weave in order to get on the show. Then, she realized Danielle was as stable as a crackpipe in Whitney's hand, so she tried to get in cahoots with the other broads, but they weren't buying it. So after a big televised blowout with Danielle, she vanished into oblivion, hopefully never to be heard from again.

No such luck.

The bitch is back and this time, she's back with a vengeance of sorts. You know how Teresa Giudice is bankrupt and owes money to everyone and their mother and is having an auction to pay off her creditors? Well, Kim G. is going to be at this auction and she intends to clean house!

According to Kim G., her master plan is to buy everything at the auction, which she equates to crap you can find on a "folding table on Mulberry Street" and then resell the items on eBay for charity.

Ummm, WHAT?! Could you explain some of the logic behind this plan, please?!

Anyone? Anyone?

No? She's just deranged and desperate?! Okay, great. Moving on…

[Image via WENN.]

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MORE Jersey Housewife Drama!

Filed under: Super SeniorsReality TV

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Can't these women act their age?!

As Real Housewives of New Jersey star Danielle Staub celebrated her 48th birthday at Scores Gentleman’s Club on Tuesday, she came across an uninvited guest. Costar Kim G. and she entourage crashed the party!

The two arrived at the same time and Danielle refused to walk in until Kim G. was gone. The party crasher was eventually escorted off the premises.

Considering Danielle wants "nothing but the best" for the other housewives, it seems a little harsh!

At least Kim was lucky enough to miss a performance by Danielle and her girlfriend Lori Michaels, complete with backup dancers and stripper moves.

Bleh.

[Image via WENN.]

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