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Scream Queens Serves Up Its Grossest Episode Yet With Cannibal Diseases, Murderous Hands, & An Improbably Ugly Colton Haynes! Get The Full Recap!

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Murder! Mystery! Homoerotic John Stamos shower scenes!

Tuesday's episode of Scream Queens had a little something for everyone, especially if you're really into grotesque diseases and erotic asphyxiation.

[SPOILERS, IDIOT HOOKERS]

After witnessing a hairy patient get decapitated at the end of last week's season premiere, Chanel No. 5 (Abigail Breslin) became a suspect right off the bat, despite the fact that there was green smile tracked in by the actual murderer, the Green Meanie.

Related: Ryan Murphy Talks Working With The 'Relentlessly Homophobic' WB!

No. 5's luck turned around when she started getting romantic with a patient played by the impossibly handsome Colton Haynes — except his character Tyler was in the hospital because he was completely covered in NASTY looking boils…

Bent on making Tyler hot again, No. 5 started fundraising for an expensive laser to remove the warts, but it was Chanel Oberlin (Emma Roberts) who got the money from her ex-boyfriend Chad Radwell (Glen Powell), who had returned to

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Scream Queens Scares Up Some Hollywood Royalty — John Stamos, Kirstie Alley, & Jerry O'Connell — For The Season 2 Premiere! Meet The Cast!

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***WARNING: Scream Queens Spoilers Ahead***

Welcome back, idiot hookers.

The inaugural season of Scream Queens wasn't quite the horror/camp-fest we were hoping it'd be… but it looks like Ryan Murphy is doing everything in his power to course correct for Season Two.

Luckily, that meant an hour of wall-to-wall entertainment on Tuesday night when FOX reopened the C.U.R.E Institute — much to the disdain of the Chanels!

Recap: American Horror Story: 6's Premiere Is A Total Nightmare!

While a majority of the episode was dedicated to reintroducing us to Keke Palmer, Jamie Lee Curtis, Emma Roberts, Abigail Breslin, and Billie Lourd's already iconic characters in their new, sterile environment… the welcomed additions to the cast certainly made the most of their debut.

But we're not just talking random up-and-comers — no, American Horror Story: Kids somehow managed to attract Hollywood royalty like John Stamos, Kirstie Alley, Jerry O'Connell, Taylor Lautner, Laura Bell Bundy, and Cecily Strong for the premiere… it's just too bad not everyone could survive the night!

We guess the Green Meanie is just as bloodthirsty as the Red Devil!!

Video: Lea Michele Goes Full Hannibal Lecter In Scream Queens Teaser

Plus, we even got some specialized commercials thanks to Lady GaGa unveiling her Perfect Illusion music video even if we had mixed feelings about it.

So, without further ado…

M-m-meet Scream Queens' newest residents for Season Two (below)!!!

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Kirstie Alley Reveals The Big Mistake That Led To Her 80-Pound Weight Gain!

Filed under: Kirstie AlleyFitnessHealth

Kirstie Alley gets candid about her weight gain!

Kirstie Alley is loving her healthier lifestyle!

It was just earlier this year the actress opened up about how she dropped 50 pounds with the help of Jenny Craig. Now in a new interview with People, the 65-year-old has decided to get candid about what led her to her dramatic weight gain in the first place.

Related: Did Kirstie Just Endorse Donald Trump For President??

In 2009, it was reported the star gained 83 pounds, and she says one very big mistake was to blame:

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From Our Archive: How Do We Say This Delicately???

Filed under: Kirstie AlleyBody

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TBT May 19, 2008: "How I say this delicately? I was a total cunt back in the day! Fuck! Sorry, Kirstie!"

Uhmmm….

We hope she only got fruit toppings!!!!!

Kirstie Alley is looking HUGE these days.

The former fattie stopped by Pinkberry in the Valley this past weekend to get some not-quite fro yo.

She ordered the large, of course!

[Image via Starzlife.]

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Kirstie Alley Is Starving For Attention!

Check out this nugget and some Trump talk on my latest podcast! Listen at http://Play.it/Perez and subscribe on iTunes to The PHP: Perez Hilton Podcast!

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Kirstie Alley Goes All The Way In — The Actress Just Officially Endorsed Donald Trump For President!

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Politics makes for strange bedfellows, apparently…

Because Kirstie Alley is now #TeamTrump after officially endorsing The Donald on Twitter over the weekend!

Related: Remember When Kirstie Wanted To Mack On Justin Bieber?!

The actress posted a message in favor of Donald Trump for president — for quite a while now, she's hinted at supporting him — and in doing so, made it official with a very succinct and obvious statement (below)!!!

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Kirstie Alley Gushes Over Her Life Changing 50 Pound Weight Loss!

Filed under: Kirstie AlleyFitnessBody

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Everyone knows Kirstie Alley has always struggled with her weight.

Over the years, we've watched Alley battle the pounds with help from Jenny Craig and a short lived weight loss reality show called Kirstie Alley's Big Life. While the journey hasn't been easy for the actress, we always knew she had it in her to succeed!

Related: Kirstie Wants To Mack On Justin Bieber!

In a Thursday interview, the mom of gushed over her recent fitness victory — a 50 pound shrinkage!

Alley happily confessed:

"I'm pretty lean, and that's good. I'm curious to see how great I can get my body, especially at this age."

Sounds like the soon to be 65-year-old. is up for a challenge! There's no better time than the present, girl!

The ambitious spokesperson added:

"I'm curious how ripped I can get my arms, how great I can get my abs to look. I want to do yoga, I'm going to do more dance…"

Way to go, girl! 2016 looks super busy for you…

The best part about Kirstie's success? She's doing it all for HERSELF:

"I'm just going to see for myself, no one else, how I look."

Woot! You do you! Congrats!

[Image via WENN.]

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