There is only one place in the world where a paternity case can be settled:
The Maury Show!
Michael wants to drag alleged baby momma Kristi Kaufmann on the show and take Maury's famous paternity test to prove he never sperminated this woman. Papa Lohan insists that any evidence that this woman has, including the child's birth certificate to bearing Michael's name, is completely fabricated.
Just when you thought he couldn't stoop any lower!
[Image via WENN.]