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Matthew McConaughey Better Manscape! Magic Mike: The Musical Includes Real LAP DANCES!

magic-mike-the-musical lap dances matthew mcconaughey channing tatum alex pettyfer matt bomer

Sweet chocolate pants-creaming Jesus, this news is GLORIOUS!

Not only is the most underrated film of 2012 our generation getting a much-needed Broadway adaptation, but Magic Mike: The Musical will be more, ahem, hands-on than we ever expected!

Producer Gregory Jacobs recently whipped out nine inches ah-mazingly delicious news and thrusted it deep within our soul!

Of the upcoming stage version, he said:

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Harry Styles Lets A Sexy Stripper Rub His Lap One Direction Upwards! See Pics HERE!

harry styles lap dance

Such a naughty cupcake!!

Harry Styles has been SWIMMING in the lady love on his 19th birthday tour de force!

Not only did he spend some time with ex-girlfriend Caroline Flack, he was also spotted going home with a scantily-clad mystery blonde early Saturday morning (see photos below)!

But the REAL pleasure chest seems to have opened up when he let a stripper — as the headline reads — rub his lap One Direction upwards with her cop-costumed booty!! Ha!!

While the photo above seems too good to be true, Niall Horan apparently commented on the dirty dance in a Twitter DM, saying:

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Brooke Hogan's Fiancé Disses Lindsay Lohan & Kimye's Baby While Grabbing At Tittays!

Whoa, this guy!!

First of all, an overdo congratulations to our golden-haired goddess Brooke Hogan who became recently engaged to pro wrestler Bully Ray, a.k.a. Bubba!

Get it, gurl!!

Now, on to his WILD and unbelievable bachelor party at an NYC strip joint!!

Ch-ch-check out the man who is months away from marrying Hulk Hogan's daughter (above) — he's face deep in another woman's double-Ds!!

What?! We hear him professing his undying love for his fiancée, but we're shocked he'd get down & drity with another woman on camera!!

Does her realize her dad can literally rip him limb from limb!

His crazy antics don't even end there!

Bully Ray finds time to diss Lindsay Lohan's teeth, and then suggest a name for Kim Kardashian and Kanye West's unborn miracle Kimbryo…. BUBBA!

What the heck, man?!

We know you can handle your own in the ring, but stop making enemies out of people who never knew you existed!

UPDATE: We checked Brooke's facebook page where she lists herself as single. So she MAY not be getting married to Bubba after all, and pro wrestling MAY be fake. One thing is for sure - our dreams have officially been shattered.

[Video via Splash News.]

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Stripper Suffers 'Major Head Trauma' After Falling 15 Feet During Lap Dance!

Filed under: Oops!Wacky, Tacky & True

lap dance accident stripper fail danger fall injured

Strip clubs are all fun and games until somebody loses an eye bumps their noggin'!

Early this morning, an unidentified single mother working her way through nursing school stripper badly injured herself after falling 15 feet off a balcony while dancing at Christie’s Cabaret in Cleveland!

A responding police officer described how the 22-year-old woman hurt herself, saying:

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Miley Cyrus Gets A SeXXXy Bachelorette Surprise From Ellen!

Mmmmmmm! Ellen sure knows how to throw a party!

Wednesday, the hostess with mostest surprised bride to be, Miley Cyrus, with a small (but veeeery seXXXy) bachelorette party!

Press PLAY (above) to see Mileybird turn RED after getting caged into a surprise stripper sandwich!

It's clear the ex-Dinsey darling would much rather get a lapdance from her fiancé Liam Hemsworth… and probs not on TV. HA!

Hey, Ellen didn't give her the same shock she gave Taylor Swift!

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