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Lindsay Lohan REJECTS Sweet Rehab Plea Deal! Claims There's NOTHING WRONG With Her!

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To say we're feeling EXASPERATED over the latest installment in the saga that is Lindsay Lohan's legal proceedings would be an understatement…

Because Our Lady of Perpetual Chaos has been offered a sweet-ass plea bargain that would require her to attend a rehab facility for 60 30 days in lieu of heading to trial over her June car-crash-lying-to-cops-case, which you would think she'd be thanking her lucky Louis Vuitton heels for.

But nay.

Even though Lilo's new lawyer Mark Heller is still in "ongoing negotiations" with the prosecution and is working hard to make sure Lindz can avoid a trial, let alone JAIL TIME, Lindsay seems to be living in an eternal state of denial. So much so that she has REJECTED the rehab deal on the grounds that there is nothing wrong with her, thus she doesn't NEED to be rehabilitated, and girl is apparently ready and willing to go to court.

We just do NOT understand what is going on in that little redhead's head!

Would she rather go to jail for months than go get some good ol' fashioned therapy in a swanky celeb vacation retreat rehab center?!

Or is she SO starved for attention that she welcomes the media frenzy that goes along with a public trial?!

We sincerely hope she wakes up and smells just how sweet this plea bargain is, or we fear she's going to be posing for the cameras behind metal bars in the not-to-distant future!

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Lindsay Lohan's Loopy Lawyer Filed Several Head-Scratching Legal Docs!

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Assuming attorney Mark Heller's goal during LiLo's proceedings is to generate as much publicity for himself as humanly possible, everything is going swimmingly!

But what if his priority is, instead, keeping Lindsay Lohan out of jail? Uhh, the jury is still out on that one.

Having apparently learned the law from Channing Tatum's hit comedy 21 Jump Street, Mark recently filed a motion to

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Chris Brown's Community Service Scandal: VA Police Chief Who Signed Off On Records RESIGNS!!!

Filed under: RihannaOops!Legal MattersChris Brown

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Seems like someone is feeling a wee bit GUILTY for (allegedly) forging Chris Brown's community service records!!

Bryan Norwood, the Virgina Police Chief who signed off on Breezy's recently contested community service documentation, has RESIGNED from his position!!!

Norwood and the rest of the Richmond Police Department were scandalized last week when the LA's District Attorney's office filed papers insisting that Brown LIED about completing his mandated 180 days of community service in connection with his 2009 Rihanna assault case.

Of course, Breezy's lawyer is ADAMANT that Chris is being 100% honest and that the DA is cray cray.

Hmmm… verrrryyy suspicious indeed!!

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Lindsay Lohan "Too Busy" To Sit Down For Deposition, "Injured" Paparazzo PISSED!

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Remember that paparazzo who SUED Lindsay Lohan back in January of 2012 claiming the starlet injured him with her car in 2010?

Vaguely?

Well, Grigor Balyan, the dude in question, is ACHING to get Lilo to attend a deposition, but all his attempts at wrangling the red head have been in vain…

And now he's PISSED that Lindz would rather party-hAArdy and shop her face off than address her legal responsibilities, ESPECIALLY since she reportedly said she couldn't meet up with Grigor because she's not living in El Lay anymore…

Yet she obviously WAS in the sunny state recently as she surprisingly showed up to her lying-to-cops-car-crash hearing!!

Grigor is allegedly insisting that a Judge MAKE Lindsay sit down for a deposition AND that she pay $4,842.43 for his lawyer fees.

Unfortunately for Grigor, getting Lindsay to do ANYTHING that doesn't require a neon-glo wristband is harder that heart surgery — and getting her to PAY him money is like trying to squeeze water out of a stone…

IT AIN'T GONNA HAPPEN!

[Image via WENN.]

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Chris Brown Due In Court TODAY To Deal With Community Service Scandal!

Filed under: RihannaLegal MattersChris Brown

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Yeah… let's see if he pulls a Lindsay Lohan and decides to SKIP today's court session. He WAS up super late sexing up cuddling with Rihanna after all!

Chris Brown may be tired of all the "accusations" flying around…

But DID he completely fake documents detailing his "completed" Virginia community service hours in connection with his 2009 Rihanna assault case?!

Well, we may find out the answer very soon as the issue is supposed to be addressed in court TODAY!!

The LA District Attorney recently filed reports stating that he's MIGHTY suspicious of Chris' community service paperwork, and is calling on the judge to request that Chris re-do his mandated 180 days of community service in LA.

And if Chris doesn't fulfill his legal obligations?

It's off to jail for that ass!

And that means no more 5 hour "recording" sessions with his ladylove Rihanna. But hey, at least he'll get a conjugal visit, right?!

LOLZ!

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Lindsay Lohan Has A Baby Brother!! Michael Lohan & Kate Major Welcome Brand New Son!

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The miracle of life! It always warms our hearts!

Though it started off as one of her worst days in recent memory, Lindsay Lohan has cause to celebrate tonight because she has a new little brother!

Michael Lohan's on-again, off again girlfriend Kate Major gave birth to a beautiful little boy this afternoon, Landon Major Lohan!

LiLo obviously spent a HUGE part of her day dealing with court room dramz, so we bet she's relieved to focus on something so wonderful!!

Landon is a decent size fella, too,weighing in at 7 pounds, 5 ounces! His parents must be positively ecstatic to welcome him into the world!!

We only hope just Lindsay stays out of prison long enough to be a good role model for her lil' bro!!

Congratulations Michael & Kate — and good luck with the parenting!!!

[Image via STS/WENN.]

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Rihanna's Momma Sucked Into Her Legal Drama!

Filed under: RihannaLegal Matters

Rihanna's Momma Sucked Into Her Legal Drama!

Rihanna's ex-accountants are playing DIRTY!

The accounting team RiRi is suing for "shoddy bookkeeping" that caused the unnecessary loss of millions of dollars, just dragged her mother into the case by forcing her to give a deposition!

And gurlfriend is PISSED!! You don't f*ck with somebody's momma!!

The pop star says the fact that the shady shadsters took advantage of her by taking 22 percent (instead of 10 percent) from off the top of her paychecks, has absolutely nothing to do with the sweet woman that gave her life.

The accountants disagree. They're saying that since her Ma was the one to sign

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