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Alabama Strikes Down Anti-Sodomy Laws!!! You Can Finally Gobble The Goop & Get Mud On Your Duck In Peace!

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Hoooooray! We have AMAZEBALLZ(INURMOUTH) news for Alabamians who enjoy blow jobs and butt-sex!!!

According to people who dress nicely and carry briefcases, Alabama took a huge step toward not being the most awful and intolerantly humid hole in the world last week when they finally (FINALLY!) decriminalized oral & anal sex!

That's right, sports fans — feel free to ride the baloney pony to poop town and stop in Tuscaloosa on the way!!!

Previously,

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X-Men's Ian McKellen Explains What The Mutant Uprising Is A Metaphor For & His Revelation Will Make You See The Film In A Whole New Way!

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The world was delighted when X-Men starlet Ellen Page came out on Valentine's Day, but she wasn't the franchise's first openly gay cast member! Not even close!

Ian McKellen, a.k.a. present day Magneto, has been openly gay since 1988!

In the X-Men films, Ian's character fights on behalf of an unjustly disenfranchised group of "mutants." Well, that's no coincidence!

As it turns out, when director Bryan Singer approached the legendary actor and begged him to accept the role, he suggested that Ian view the mutants' plight as a metaphor for what the LGBT community endures in real life!

Ian confessed:

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Pope Francis Named Person Of The Year By LGBT Magazine The Advocate! Good Choice Or Epic Fail?!

Filed under: Gay Gay Gay

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To pick one person as the most influential individual in the fight for gay rights in 2013 seems an impossible feat. History was made countless times this year by so many remarkable men and women.

But gracing the cover of The Advocate this month as their 'Person of the Year' is a man who is not only NOT gay himself, he may not even be an ally to the LGBT community at all!

Pope Francis I assumed the papacy in March and went on to make many changes around the Vatican, including the rhetoric being used on certain issues.

He addressed the issue of gay catholics while on a flight from Brazil to Rome earlier this year, saying:

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