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Chicago Kid Shoots Himself In Ballz, Tells Cops He Was Jumped By A Van Full Of Ninjas!!!

chicago teen shoots himself groin blames ninjas

A 17-year-old Chicago boy went to the hospital this weekend with a wounded groin, but it's not what you think — he did NOT burn himself while having sex with a freshly baked apple pie!

As it turns out, he accidentally shot himself near the privates! Ouch! Totes bummer!

What's truly strange about his story, though, is what he told the cops who questioned him!

He told them two firearm-weilding Ninjas popped out of a black van and shot him! Ninjas! Seriously! HE BLAMED NINJAS!

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Barbara Walters Was Doing Damage Control! Elisabeth Hasselbeck IS Getting Fired From The View!

elisabeth hasselbeck still fired

Well, whattya know?

Guess Elisabeth Hasselbeck will still be getting the heave-ho from The View, after all!

Just not as quickly as Barbara Walters would have originally liked, apparently!

According to sources close to the long-running talk series, the iconic journalist was LIVID when news leaked about her conservative co-host's impending exit, and to attempt damage control, went on air last week to deny the reports!

However, insiders maintain:

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Dr. Paul Denies Dating Beauty Queen Girlfriend Before Divorce From Adrienne Maloof Was Finalized!

paul nassif new girlfriend

Relax, folks!

Even though Dr. Paul Nassif may have one-upped his ex-wife Adrienne Maloof in the 'hot young piece' department with new girlfriend, Helen Salas, it appears that the rumors that the pair first started hooking before his divorce from the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills star was finalized are UNTRUE!

In fact, according to the reality star and the 27-year-old former Miss Nevada USA, there is no way their relationship started last April… because they only met for the first time six weeks ago!

Furthermore, she's a beauty queen! NOT a babysitter to his kids, and never was!

Well, that's CERTAINLY a relief!

If it's true, of course!

There's just been so much back-and-forth between these two during their split that we have a hard time gauging who's lying about what!

But hey! The divorce is settled and they both have significantly younger flings to occupy their time, so here's hoping they can both just stay out of each other's tinsel-adorned hair and properly MOVE ON with their lives!

What do U think? Is Paul telling the truth about the time-frame of his relationship?

[Image via Getty Images.]

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Ellen DeGeneres Gives A 3-Year-Old Liar More Sprinkles Than He Can Handle!!

Filed under: Ellen DeGeneresYouTubeCute Kidz

Ellen DeGeneres just adored John, the cute little kid who lied about eating sprinkles on YouTube!

So she invited him and his mom to be guests on the show!

Ch-ch-check out the video (above) to see the adorable little fibber get his just desserts!

Rewarding lies with a prize? Ellen, you shouldn't have! Oh, but he's just so CUTE!

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Taylor Armstrong Feuding With Adrienne Maloof: She’s A Liar!!!

adrienne maloof taylor armstrong feud liar

And another feud has started up on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills!

And this time Brandi Glanville is staying out of it…phew!

But Adrienne Maloof isn't so safe from the dramz as Taylor Armstrong is coming after her for suing Brandi.

Okay, so Brandi isn’t completely out of the feud.

Girl is in all the messes! LOLz!

Taylor called out Miz. Maloof while appearing on Watch What Happens Live with Andy Cohen, and it wasn’t pretty.

Taylor wanted to explain why she’s no longer got Adrienne’s back on the show which is when things got nasty as she said:

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