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Judge Judy Wants Lindsanity Behind Bars!

Filed under: Lindsay LohanDrugs

Judge Judy has seen it all: Deadbeats who steal their family's grocery money. Jealous gf's who pour bleach on their cheating man's jeans. Tupperware fights between middle-aged lunatic old maids.

Considering her experience with the weird, wonky and worthless, we think anyone who doesn't take Judge Judy's advice is a fool. Right now, Judge Judy says Lindsay Lohan should be thrown in jail! We agree!!!

This shining voice of reason says that Lindsanity needs a "dose of reality" should she ever hope to be a productive member of society ever again. In an interview, the good Judge says:

"When the justice system says it's going to do something and it doesn't follow through with it, it sends out a dangerous message. Lindsay Lohan, I think has to be given a dose of reality I don't think she has been living in the real world for a long time. Most people stop using drugs in jail. If you're in jail for three months, nobody is going to get Lindsay Lohan drugs in jail. And there is help there."

EXACTLY!

No offense to Judge Fox, but can we get a change in the lineup here. We think if tomorrow were to play out like in the video above, everyone, including Lindsay, would be a lot better off!

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Friends Urge Lindsanity To Seek Help!

Filed under: Lindsay LohanDrugsSad Sad

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We think she needs a lot MORE time in treatment than just nine months, but we suppose it's a start!

Sources close to La Loca Lohan are reportedly very concerned that the hard-pAArtying wacktress is not taking her failed drug tests seriously enough, and instead is more concerned about filming her porn star movie, Inferno!

Insiders say:

"Lindsay has been told that she needs intensive inpatient rehab for at least nine months. The last thing Lindsay should be doing right now is working. What is abundantly clear to everyone is that the last thing Lindsay should be doing right now is work. Lindsay wants to work, and is resisting the idea of not working. She knows she needs help, but she has contractual obligations, and she needs the money. Lindsay wants and plans on beginning filming as planned, even though she has been advised to seek intensive treatment, which would consist of inpatient rehab treatment for at least nine months. Lindsay needs to get help, period. She has to focus on her disease and begin the recovery process. She needs to get out of Hollywood, and away from the people that enable her. She (Lindsay) needs to focus on herself, and hopefully if she takes the appropriate steps Lindsay can have success in her personal and professional life."

Well, none of these plans will really matter when the judge throws her ass back in jail, but we agree that Lindsay needs to get out of El Lay and focus on her very serious problems - away from the limelight!

If she does, and gets some serious therapy and rehab without any press, then MAYBE she'll be ready to work again in a few years.

But we doubt that will happen! La Loca just loves the attention way too much to let it go and focus on her REAL issues!

So sad.

[Image via WENN.]

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Lindsanity Catches A Lucky Break

Filed under: Lindsay LohanDrugsLegal Matters

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But it won't mean that much in the long run.

Sources are confirming that Lindsay Lohan may not see any repercussions for failing her second drug test. As it happens, the positive reading was determined to be caused by her use of Adderall and the L.A. County Probation Department is not recommending jail time. Furthermore, there seemed to be some miscommunication in the paperwork when it went from the court to the Probation office, so everyone's just decided to to give LiLo a freebie.

For the second failed drug test. The first one, the one she failed because she loaded her nostrils with white funsies, she'll have to answer for. The Probation Dept. has recommended 30 days for that offense.

Here's where things can take a real turn for Lindsanity…

On Friday, Judge Elden Fox will be given two options of what to do with the coke fiend actress. He can throw her ass in jail right on the spot on principle for the recommended 30 days. That would be fine by us, except because of overcrowding, she'd probably be back in Las Palmas sucking on a lime within a few hours.

The other option, the BETTER option, is to deny LiLo bail and set her next hearing to take place in 30 days. Why is this better? Because it would mean she would go DIRECTLY TO JAIL, (DO NOT PASS GO, DO NOT GET $200) and more importantly, she would have to stay in jail until her hearing! There would be no way to get her released early!

We pick Door#2! Option B! Throw her in jail! Teach her a lesson!

DO IT! DO IT! DO IT!

[Image via WENN.]

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Lindsanity: The Documentary?

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She's still trying to ca$h in on her mess of an effing life!

We're not gonna lie - we'll definitely still see this shiz, though!

Lindsay Lohan has reportedly been approached to be the subject of a documentary about her much-publicized personal life and drug problems!

A source explains:

“The idea is to blow the lid off the kind of LA lifestyle girls like Lindsay are or have been leading. Lindsay loves the idea and wants to get across how she’s faced her experiences.”

This would DEFINITELY be an inneresting one!

And given the public's frustration with her unbelievable amount of fuck-ups, this flick could hopefully help audiences understand and relate to her better!

So sad, though, that something like this is her only viable career option at this point.

Thoughts??

[Image via WENN.]

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Lindsanity Enjoys Her Last Nights Of Freedom Out On The Town!

Filed under: Lindsay LohanDrugsSad Sad

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Lost cause Lindsay Lohan was all smiles as she was spotted out on the town once again last night in El Lay, despite her life - and any chance at a serious career - collapsing around her once again!

That's right, bb!

Why stay at home and reflect on your effed up life choices when you can go out and get attention from the paparazzi?! It's not like you're going back to jail for failing multiple drug tests or anything!

It's really just depressing at this point, isn't it?

[Image via Pacific Coast News Online.]

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Allegedly Sober Michael Lohan Famewhores In An NYC Bar!

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Well, isn't this self-proclaimed concerned father just all smiles?

While his addict daughter Lindsay's life continues to collapse around her, ex-con and allegedly 'sober' Michael Lohan was spotted famewhoring it up at a New York City bar!

We never are ceased to be amazed with this disgusting, self-righteous prick's bullshit.

He clearly has no self-control, so we wonder what he thinks he's doing in an effing BAR!

Just another reminder that his meal ticket daughter never even had a chance because of him.

Deplorable.

[Image via Pacific Coast News Online.]

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Blohan May Be Back Behind Bars On Friday!

Filed under: Lindsay LohanDrugsLegal Matters

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Hope they kept the home fires burning in her cell!

Lindsay Lohan returns to court on Friday to face-off with Judge Elden Fox. Since she failed one of her random drug tests BIG TIME, her probation will be officially revoked when she meets with the judge. She will then have to wait and see what happens at her next hearing, which will be a probation violation hearing.

However, she could either be spending those days stumbling back into Las Palmas or behind bars! And according to sources, it seems "likely" that she'll be carted back off to the slammer! The power all lies with Judge Fox! One source explains:

"Lindsay was allowed to remain out on bail last time until her probation violation hearing, but Judge Fox probably won't give her that privilege because of her failed drug test, and this is her second probation violation hearing in less than three months. By remanding her directly to custody, Lindsay would stay behind bars until the probation violation hearing, she wouldn't allowed to get out early. The probation violation hearing could be set for the following week, or as much as 30 days from now. If it's set for 30 days from now, Lindsay will remain behind bars during that time if that is what Judge Fox decides."

We hate to break it to you, LiLo, but we don't think Judge Fox has any pity for you. Not many people do these days. Maybe, if you are really good, they'll send you back to rehab for the time being, but either way, there is no way you're getting bail for a second time!

Whomp whomp!

[Image via WENN.]

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