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It's A Dark Day For Science: The Russian Space Sex Lizards Are Dead

Filed under: Sad SadScience!SexSpace!CrazzzzylizardsGIFs

russian sex lizards lost in space gravity jurassic park

Space exploration is a dangerous game.

Sure, it'd be safer to never leave our homes and just keep our feet firmly on planet earth — but then progress would never happen.

Five brave Russian sex lizards have given their lives in the name of progress. They're the sex geckos that were lost in space.

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Russians Lose Freaky Zero-G Lizard Sex Satellite! Could This Mean The End Of The Universe As We Know It??

Filed under: Tech TalkScience!SexSpace!CrazzzzylizardsGIFs

russian sex lizards lost in space gravity jurassic park

Houston Moscow, we have a problem.

Right now, hundreds of miles above us, there's some freaky lizard sex going down. Zero gravity style.

Apparently a Russian "science" satellite, the Foton-M4 research satellite, which was launched on July 19th, is no longer responding to commands from mission control.

The Russian sex lizards have gone rogue!

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Lizard Crawls Inside Man's Penis But He ENJOYED It?? We Bet It Wasn't A Komodo Dragon!

Filed under: TV NewsWacky, Tacky & TrueHealthSexSurgeryCrazzzzylizards

A lizard crawled up a man's penis and it wasn\'t the worst thing in the world?? Say whaaaaaat?!

Ever hear of TLC's show Sex Sent Me To The E.R.?

If you haven't seen it yet it's all sorts of ridiculous, wonderful, hilarious and cringe-inducing.

Whether it's a 440-pound virgin accidentally smashing his lover's head through the wall or a woman suffering from a three-hour orgasm, these real-life sexual adventures land people in the emergency room.

Well "Shawn" from Chicago had an interesting sexual misadventure that sent him to

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Bearded Dragons Are Linked To A Salmonella Outbreak Over The Past Two Years! GROSS!

Filed under: Icky Icky PooHealthPetsReptile FriendslizardsGIFs

Authorities have found a connection between a salmonella outbreak and pet bearded dragons!

It looks like Jorah Mormont had it right when he told Khaleesi dragons could NEVER be tamed on Game of Thrones!

OK, so that actually doesn't really apply here! But in real life, pet bearded dragons are proving to be quite dangerous as they are believed to be the cause of a salmonella outbreak over the past two years!

Since February 12, 2012, at least 132 people have been hospitalized across

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NY Woman Finds Lizard Head In Her Salad!! This Restaurant Should Be Ashamed Especially After Seeing THIS Pic!

Filed under: FoodDisgusting!lizards

A NY woman found an actual lizard head in her salad! Super nasty!

A Manhattan woman with an unfortunate name, Robin Sandusky, got food from Guy & Gallard on West 40th Street.

It was a normal Tuesday afternoon when Robin had a $6 salad delivered to her Chelsea office.

When eating her salad, she got a DISGUSTING surprise: a severed lizard head!!

NOOOO!!!

Robin described the harrowing experience, saying:

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Zayn Malik Chills With His New Lizard In Smoldering New Selfie!

Zayn Malik gets a new bearded dragon lizard named Arnie

THE ZAYN MALIK SELFIES HAVE RETURNED!!!!

O.M.F.G It's been waaaaay too long since we've seen a Zen selfie and boy, does it give us joy. SO MUCH JOY!!!

Yes, the One Direction misterioso brought back his smoldering stare to Twitter on this bless-ed December afternoon with none other than an introduction to his new fuzzy friend, Arnie!

As we all know, Zayn and his lady Perrie Edwards are huge animal lovers (so far we count two dogs and a cat - Hatchi, Harley, and Prada), but looks like Mr. Malik has added a bearded dragon lizard to the mix!

And yes, his name really is Arnie! In fact, in a rare tweet, Zayn himself wrote:

"Chillin with arnie!! :)"

All hail the king, Arnie!! Srsly, if this little guy can bring out more sexy selfies from Zayn, then we will be his loyal servants any time of day!

[Image via Zayn Malik.]

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Former Animal Planet Host Tried To Smuggle Endangered Lizards!

Filed under: TV NewsLegal MattersBusted!Endangeredlizards

El Lay based herpetologist, Donald Schultz, a former Animal Planet host, has plead guilty to a federal charge of trying to sell two endangered lizards!

The former host tried to sell two Iranian desert monitor lizards without a permit. Oh, and did we mention he tried to sell them to an

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