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Dina Lohan Isn't Messing Around! Will Have Michael Arrested!


Oh shizz! There could be some mayjah dramz going down at Lindsay's hearing today!!

Dina Lohan is threatening to have ex-husband Michael Lohan arrested if he dares show his face at their daughter's hearing today.

Dina has a criminal protective order against Michael and sources say, if Michael comes to the hearing, "there's gonna be a situation."

We all know that being in the middle of a media circus is Michael Lohan's drug of choice so he will undoubtedly show up at the hearing, with a publicist, lawyer, and a 10-page statement that he will demand to read on camera.

Even though Lindsay will probably avoid jail time today, it looks like we'll still see a LOLhan get throw into jail.

Ah, wouldn't that be sweet??

[Images via WENN.]

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Dina LOLhan: "Lindsay Is Treated Like A Common Criminal! She Doesn't Even Have A Pillow!"

Filed under: Lindsay LohanDina Lohan


Despite what the other inmates have been saying, new fish Lindsay Lohan is not getting any special treatment. Just ask her mother, Dina Lohan, who visits her way-ward child every chance she gets and lives to talk about it when she comes back.

According to Dina, who went yesterday to Lynwood Correctional Center, Lindsay has no access to a phone, despite some reports, and can only talk to Dina through a glass partition using a telephone. Dina says:

“She doesn’t have cell phone privileges, that’s absurd. She doesn’t even have a pillow to sleep on…She’s treated like a common criminal.”

Oh the absolute horror!

News flash - she is a criminal. They don't put you in prison just for the hell of it, you know!

But while the system itself hasn't provided little LOLhan all the finer amenities of prison life, Dina says her daughter has been treated well while in the slammer:

“I have to say that the people inside have been pretty cool to her…the guards and the inmates…I’m so proud of Lindsay, she’s been so strong and positive, even under what I consider to be a extremely harsh punishment.”

You think this is tough! This is a cake walk compared to when she goes to rehab. Sure, she might get a pillow and her BlackBerry back, but if a choice had to come down between Tweeting and her Ambien, which do you think LiLo would choose???

Just saying!

[Image via WENN.]

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Lindsanity's First Tell-All Interview Is On Its Way!

Filed under: Lindsay LohanLegal Matters


Well, would you look at that?

Barely a week after her prison sentence and she's already ca$hing in!

Lindsanity LOLhan has reportedly sat down for her first tell-all interview since Judge Marsha 'Cut A Bitch' Revel laid down the cold hand of the law and sentenced the hard-pAArtying wacktress to 90 days in the slammer, and we can only imagine what kind of amazing, cracked out lies are going to be spewing from that mouth this time around!

We hear she even tries to lie through her teeth about explain how her maaagical passport mysteriously disappeared during her trip to Cannes to promote her yet-to-be greenlit, yet-to-be filmed imaginary movie Inferno!

Expect to be glued to the screen, folks - Lindsay is sure to be on her A-game with this one!

We originally thought this was a STOOPID decision on her part, but then we remembered that gurlfriend can make BANK off of this shiz!

And at the end of the day, she's a Lohan through and through - right down to the delusional, famewhoring meth-face!

So go right ahead, bb, keep pimping your over-entitled denial right out!

[Image via WENN.]

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Lindsay Has NOT Found A New Lawyer


Looks like Lindsay Lohan is still on the hunt for that perfect lawyer who's going to help her appeal her court order in which she was sentenced to 90 days in jail.

Earlier we reported that Lindsay hired Chicago lawyer Stuart V. Goldberg to represent her, however her new legal rep Stephanie Ovadia says that "Stuart Goldberg is not Lindsay's new attorney. The family is still in the process of interviewing."

This came as a big surprise to Goldberg as his rep had sent a statement that Lindsay and Dina had "hired Stuart V. Goldberg as her new attorney."

Way to be professional, LOLhans!

Lilo is scheduled to start her jail term July 20. Time is running out!!!

[Image via WENN.]

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More Trainwreck TV!



The LOLhans including Lindsay Lohan will appear in a new reality show documenting their family life!

Dina Lohan explains:

"We have already started filming. The cameras follow us in our daily lives and as we promote our businesses. I want to prove that we are a good, hardworking family and we don't have the crazy lives that some people claim we do.

"The show will feature my kids, and Lindsay will also appear in some episodes, although she's very busy filming and promoting her fashion lines. We're discussing a deal with a major network."

But don't expect to see Michael Lohan as Dina has made it clear he will not be a part of the show.

Oh, we can't wait to see this hot mess of a show!

[Image via WENN.]

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Leave Lindsanity Alone, She Says!

Filed under: Lindsay LohanDrugsHot MessSad Sad


Life is so hard for Lindsanity LOLhan.

The wacktress is once again living in her imaginary sunshine unicorn world of delusion, where she of course, is 'fiiiiiine' - despite, you know, the fact that she ignores the terms of her probation and sets off her SCRAM bracelet by magically getting alcohol in her system!

She says:

"Enough is enough. People should just leave me alone and let me live. I haven't touched any alcohol or anything of the sort. The lies that get created [are] damaging to my career."


Sorry, bb, but what career? That ship sailed away into an ocean of vodka redbulls a looong time ago!

How about you get your life together, stop being a publicity-obsessed, methfaced trainwreck of a human being, and then maybe everyone will leave you alone and let you 'live!'

Just saying!

[Image via WENN.]

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Lindsay Aged About 30 Years In Cannes

Filed under: Icky Icky PooLindsay LohanDrugs


Lindsanity LOLhan has finally arrived in El Lay from working pAArtying hard in Cannes.

Coke bloat, maybe?

[Image via Mavrix Online.]

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