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Jon Gosselin For Hire!

Filed under: The Gosselins


Are you looking for someone who is talentless, lazy, offensive to your retinas and occupies space for no adequate reason for your business?

Look no further than Jon Gosselin.

After almost an entire year of doing NOTHING and living off of the pennies his kids put in his piggy bank from their allowance, Jon has finally decided to seek employment … somewhere.

Due to the legal arrangement he has with TLC, Jon isn't allow to flaunt his fug on TV, so that's out. According to sources, he isn't looking to be the face of Depp Gel or invest in a new Ed Hardy line called "Shameful." No, he is looking for something more "substantial," like just a normal 9-to-5 gig!

Good for you, Jon. We think that is a smart move.

And hey, we're sure they are hiring at Subway! Or maybe you can collect the shopping carts in the Ralph's parking lot! Better still, a career as a Wal-Mart greeter might be perfect for you! Bet you'll meet a whole new slew of stoopid whores that way!

[Image via WENN.]

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Sandra Bullock's Husband Finally Speaks! Admits Wrongdoing!!!

Filed under: Love LineSandra Bullock


Now that he's deemed a cheater by the media, Jesse James issued a public statement apologizing to his wife Sandra Bullock and his three children.

Says the douchebag:

"The vast majority of the allegations reported are untrue and unfounded. Beyond that, I will not dignify these private matters with any further public comment.

There is only one person to blame for this whole situation, and that is me. It's because of my poor judgment that I deserve everything bad that is coming my way.

This has caused my wife and kids pain and embarrassment beyond comprehension and I am extremely saddened to have brought this on them. I am truly very sorry for the grief I have caused them. I hope one day they can find it in their hearts to forgive me."

Forgive you? Why? So you can go and cheat again?!?

What do U think of Jesse's apology? Would U forgive him?!

[Image via WENN.]

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