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CNN Suggests Aliens Or Time Travelers Abducted Malaysia Airlines Flight 370; World Proceeds To Facepalm In Unison

cnn scientific poll aliens malaysia flight 370 insane journalism death rattle

That sound you just heard, that faint death rattle? That was journalism's last dying breath. Yup, the centuries old craft of reporting news finally kicked the f**king bucket!

And, before you starting pointing any fingers, also us to direct your attention to this:

CNN has been caught red handed.

You know the enigma surrounding the missing Malaysian airplane? Those scruple-free newsmen and women have been milking that mystery for two months, but their 24/7 tragedy coverage might have finally just crossed the line!

In a "scientific" poll they conducted, the cable news network asked fans and followers whether they thought Malaysia Airlines Flight 370 was… wait for it… wait for it… abducted by space aliens, time travelers, or perhaps even beings

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Mika Brzezinski RIPS Into Her Co-Anchors Live On-Air For Faulty Reporting Of Missing Malaysian Airliner! Watch Her School These Fools HERE!

Filed under: Etc.News

Cable news has been dominated by around-the-clock coverage of Malaysia Airlines Flight 370 this week.

And Morning Joe anchor Mika Brzezinski has had enough of it!

Earlier this week, she stopped her co-hosts in the middle of their report on the missing airliner to slam them for speculating on unfounded info and theories!

Oh em gee!

During a round table discussion, in which Joe Scarborough suggested the plane might actually be somewhere OTHER than the Indian Ocean, Mika interrupted and said:

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Malaysian Airlines Flight 370’s Black Boxes Need To Be Found ASAP! Hear Why Time Is Running Out On Solving This Mystery Plane Crash!

Filed under: Sad SadNews

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It has been 17 days since Malaysian Airlines Flight 370 took off from Kuala Lumpur, never to be seen again.

Officials announced yesterday that the plane is believed to have crashed in the Indian Ocean with all 239 souls onboard lost.

But the question still remains: what happened that caused this aircraft to crash??

Investigators are still trying to solve the mystery but they’re running out of time to get to the ever-important black box!

If they don’t find the plane soon, they may NEVER find it, as the battery-powered ping from the emergency recording device is fading fast!

By law, the box must emit its signal for at least 30 days. Experts say they can continue making noise for another 15 days beyond that, depending upon the battery strength at the time of the crash.

But will crews be able to locate these black boxes (which are actually red cylinders) in time??

John Goglia, a former member of the U.S. National Transportation Safety Board, explained how the clock is ticking on this mission, saying:

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Malaysia Airlines Flight 370 Crash Site Found, Officials Confirm Plane 'Ended In The Southern Indian Ocean'

Filed under: Sad Sad

malaysian airlines flight 370 crash site found determined satellite data search lost plane

Thanks to the combined efforts of aviation and rescue experts around the world, Malaysian Airlines Flight 370 has officially been found.

Though no wreckage has yet been recovered, new satellite data, in conjunction with what was already known, has revealed the location where the missing plane went down.

Because the flight went down in the middle of the ocean, it seems investigators have officially given up hope of any survivors. Malaysian Airlines issued the following statement:

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