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Brain Damaged Father Literally Cannot Feel Excitement! You Can't Even Imagine What He's Going Through!

Filed under: Sad SadMental HealthFamilyInjuryCrazzzzy

A brain damaged father cannot actually feel excitement or sadness or any real emotion. Still loves his family. So sweet.

When Matthew Rhodes was hit by a car and sent into a ten-week coma, he awoke speaking gibberish. His brain was severely damaged.

Doctors also told the Army vet that he'd never walk again.

Well, he's defied the odds, even though his brain is seriously damaged and he's partially blind!

He's been able to regain mobility, proving those

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San Francisco Hilariously Directed Nike Marathon Complaints To Phone Sex Hotline!

Filed under: Silly!ZportzRunningSex

nike women marathon sex hotline

We're sure the kind of people who were calling to complain about marathon noise during the San Francisco Nike Women's Marathon were NOT the kind of people who would think getting directed to a phone sex hotline was hilarious!

They'd be wrong, though! That shizz is TOTES hilarious!

The race’s 5:30 a.m. music and announcements on Sunday annoyed quite a few people who want to live as boring as possible lives, so they called the city’s 311 line. It told residents to instead call

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Courteney Cox Channels Her Inner Marathon Woman On The Set Of Cougar Town!

Filed under: TV NewsCourteney CoxRunning

courteney cox runs a marathon on the set of cougar town

For someone who's in the middle of running a marathon, Courteney Cox is looking pretty good!

The veteran actress was spotted in Los Angeles earlier this where she looked more than ready to tackle a measly 26 mile run to take her mind off of this David Aquette business!

But wait. Isn't the L.A. marathon like 5 months away?? And why are all of those cameras following her around?!

It might have something to do with the fact that she was actually on the set of Cougar Town where she was obviously shooting a racing scene!

Now we know Courtney was just getting her jog on for her show, but registration for the 2014 L.A. marathon did just open!

Who knows, maybe with all of the running she's doing on set, she'll be ready for the real deal in March!

[Image via KVS/Pacific Coast News.]

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Hong Kong Marathon BANS Selfies!

Filed under: Wacky, Tacky & TrueSilly!ZportzTech TalkRunning

marathon selfie banned china

LOLz! We can't believe this is an actual problem… but it is!

The Hong Kong Marathon has BANNED runners from taking selfies because it caused a HUGE crash! Cut that shizz out people! This getting ridiculous!

Remember the moment by living in it to the fullest; don't whip out your phone for a vain shot for Instagram!

It's not worth the runner pile-up, like during last year’s event when a woman stopped at the beginning of the race to take a picture of herself, which triggered a domino-like effect of people crashing into each other! The woman should ALSO be banned from races for trying to pull something like that!

To prevent this an any other ridiculous result from thinking you need a picture of every moment of your life, organizers have banned runners from using cell phones at next year’s event!

Here's what the race chairman said:

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Running A Vertical Marathon Sounds Way Worse Than The Regular Kind!

Filed under: ZportzInspirationFitnessRunningTravel

Most people on this planet wouldn't run a marathon. Nothing against those who do — you guys are badass and way better at filling your time with physical feats! But most people wouldn't make that choice, because it IS hard on the body, no matter how in-shape you are!

Plus it's long, and sometimes people throw up from too much exertion and that's gross! LOLz!

We're curious how many of those marathoners would WANT to be in the subset of marathoners who would run a VERTICAL MARATHON!

A vertical marathon is a race up super tall buildings, and the most recent one happened to be 82 floors, 1,100 feet, and in the China World Trade Center (Tower 3), which is Beijing's tallest building!

Are you ready for the results? We just spent the first part of this story telling you how long and grueling it must be — and yet, the winner took LESS THAN 10 minutes to climb all 2,041 stairs! Holy shizz!

Thomas Dold of Germany won in 9 minutes and 55 seconds, and Suzy Walsham of Australia won for the ladies in 11 minutes and 47 seconds. We're not even sure we can do a mile in that!

They had people from all over participate — from 10 different countries! They played for cash prizes and trips!

This isn't a one-off race, either! There ARE professionals in this sport, and the 2013 Vertical World Circuit hosts eight races across the globe! It'll be heading to Vietnam, Spain, Singapore, and Brazil next, having already been to four other places including the U.S.!

So if you're ever feeling lazy and want to take the elevator to your third floor apartment, just know that there are people doing this around the world, and one of them was even 79 years old!

Check out this crazy sport (above)!

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Jason Sudeikis' Marathon Sweaty Sex Sessions With Olivia Wilde Helped Him Lose Weight!

Filed under: Love LineOlivia WildeFitnessHealthSexJason Sudeikis

jason sudeikis olivia wilde sex fitness weight loss

The best way to drop a few pounds is just to bone them off! LOLz!

Jason Sudeikis and Olivia Wilde are NOT very private when it comes to talking about their glorious, passionate sex lives! Now we're hearing that those marathon sessions that Olivia spoke about were key to Jason losing some weight!

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CVS Boycotting Rolling Stone Boston Bomber Cover Issue!!

rolling stone dzhokhar tsarnaev cvs cover ban boycott

If you didn't know, it was announced that Rolling Stone's next cover is going to feature Dzhokhar Tsarnaev, who was one of two awful people who thought it was a good and okay thing to set off bombs at the finish line of the Boston Marathon. As a shocker to no one, people are PISSED about it!

Not only are people calling for a boycott of the issue (and the magazine as a whole), but we're hearing that even some businesses are refusing to carry it — INCLUDING CVS!

That's major! The company released the following statement:

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