This story is like Lars and the Real Girl meets real life!
A woman from Las Vegas (a place notorious for people making rash matrimonial decisions) Lauren Adkins, is actually married a to scale cardboard cut out of Robert Pattinson!
"Oh, that's normal," said no one ever.
According to Lauren, despite the fact that the Edward Cullen stiff, hard standee isn't real, she's genuinely happy:
"We got hitched in Las Vegas last year and I'm sure we're happier than most newlyweds. People might think I'm crazy but my flat-pack R-Patz is the closest I'll get to the real thing and he's the one for me. For as long as I can remember I've been obsessed with romantic fairytale endings. When I was a child, I watched the Disney versions of Snow White and The Seven Dwarfs and Cinderella until the tapes wore out."
Lauren had trouble finding a man who could live up to her expectations in college, but when the Twilight books came out, she met the bloodsucker of her dreams:
"It was different from any love story I'd seen before – after all, the leading character was as likely to suck your blood as open the door for you. I was obsessed. Leading man Edward was quiet and mysterious, yet superhuman and invincible. And so sexy. I tore through the books and I queued outside the cinema when the film was released, desperate for my first glimpse of Edward. And when Robert Pattinson appeared on screen at midnight, he was perfect. I knew that very minute I wanted to marry him."
It wasn't until a few months later that Lauren arrived face-to-inanimate-face with Edward in a record shop:
"Of course he was made from cardboard, but that didn't matter to me. Suddenly I was taken over with an urge to have him. I grabbed his rigid torso and stuffed him under my arm before marching to the counter and handing over a $20 note. Then, cramming him into my car I headed back to my apartment where I ripped off his cellophane and stood him at the foot of my bed. For the rest of the night I couldn't take my eyes off him.Then I started thinking – the guys I'd dated before had all been so hopeless, I might as well have been with a cardboard cut-out. So where was the shame in taking him out with me?…A friend who thought I was going mad said one night: ‘If you love him so much why don't you marry him?' Her words rang in my ears. She was right. Why didn't I?"
Well, she did do just that, and had a marriage ceremony at the Viva Las Vegas Wedding Chapel:
"I walked down the aisle in January in the white wedding dress I've always dreamt of. I held the reception at an art gallery and ordered champagne and a five-tier cake to share with my 50 guests. The day cost £2,000 but I didn't care – I wanted to do it properly. We had our honeymoon in LA and I wanted us to climb up to the Hollywood sign together. I had to carry him, and we had to do it at night because he can't be in the sun. But everyone makes sacrifices for the man they love, right?"
We wish the two the best. We bet cardboard R-Patz is a good listener.
[Image via Instagram.]
Tags: cardboard, cutout, love line, marries, robert pattinson, standee, tacky and true, twilight, wacky, wed, wedding, wedding waltz, woman