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Maryland Woman Drives Car Into Lake While Texting, Gets Minor Injuries & Free Car Wash!

Filed under: Oops!Wacky, Tacky & TrueSad SadOuchie!

texting while driving car crash lake woman maryland

ZOMG!!!

Hasn't she seen Highway Don't Care?!? Or that one episode of The Office?!

A Maryland woman who is TOTALLY LUCKY TO BE ALIVE TODAY drove her self into a lake while trying to send a text message!!!

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Fruit-Thieving Scum Resort To 150 Pound Watermelon Theft

Filed under: Legal MattersSad SadFoodScary!

150 pound watermelon stolen

When was the last time you saw a 150 pound watermelon?

NEVER! That's how rare they are, and that's why the one that was stolen from prize-winning Maryland gardener Bradley Northcote was valued at $1,500!!

Why would anyone ever want to steal something like that, other than to eat it? It's not like you can sell it for the $1,500 — it's a giant watermelon. Someone will notice!

The delicious heist happened after 7:30 p.m. on Thursday, and was removed from Northcote's 4.5 acre yard in Street, Md. You bet your asses the cops are

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NFL Running Back Ray Rice Gets Robbed!

Filed under: FootballNFLSuper BowlScary!

ray rices baltimore house gets robbed over the weekend

We're not sure who in their right mind would rob an NFL superstar, but apparently one burglar worked up the courage this weekend and stole from Baltimore Ravens running back Ray Rice's Maryland home!

The gutsy criminal reportedly walked away with two guns and $2,000 in cash!

The Super Bowl champ wasn't home at the time of the robbery, but a friend was staying at his house and reported it to the police.

Ray released a statement about the burglary, saying:

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15 Year Old Girl's Anti-Weapon Ban Speech Goes Viral!

Filed under: PolitikViolence

If you're thinking to yourself that, wow, if a 15 year old girl can be against a weapon's ban, well then maybe the weapons ban is a bad thing — we'd like to tell you to hold off for a minute!

We ARE very proud of this young girl for having the guts to stand in front of state legislators and speak, but we can't help but think that any 15 year old is highly impressionable and probably has a lot of mouths trying to sway them behind the scenes. Something like this is absolutely poised to go viral!

Her video (above) has been viewed more than 2.5 million times, as she talks about shooting since she was 7 years old and how she's part of the Maryland Rifle Club and Maryland State Rifle and Pistol Association team.

She says things like this:

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Another Weed Win: Maryland Approves Medical Marijuana!

Filed under: DrugsPolitikHealth

maryland medical marijuana health issues pass law weed pot

Here's a step in the right direction!

Maryland lawmakers just approved the use of medical marijuana! Governor Martin O'Malley has already said he would sign the measure and make Maryland the 20th state to legalize for medical reasons — and we're glad, because it truly is a benefit to some people with some very SERIOUS health problems!

If you can't legally use it recreationally, then at least if you have a legit reason you need it, you can still get it!

The vote passed 42-4, and smoke could be seen billowing out of the courtroom immediately after!

LOLz!

[Image via AP Images.]

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Mayor Vincent Gray Won't Allow Redskins To Go Back To Washington Unless They Change "Racist" Name!

Say whaaaaaaaat?!?

The Washington Redskins currently play at the FedEx Field in Maryland, but ever since they've been victorious in their battles against other NFL teams, Washington D.C. mayor Vincent Gray wants them back — but only if they CHANGE their so-called "racist" name!! LOLz

Gray said:

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Same Sex Marriage APPROVED In Maine, Maryland & Washington!

washington-maryland-maine-same-sex-marriage-passed.jpg

Salty tears stream down our cheeks in such bliss, as last night's election proves that so many Americans are tolerant, fair human beings who believe love can be shared between ANYONE, regardless of gender!!!

Not only did President Obama secure his second term as POTUS, questions concerning legalization of same sex marriage were APPROVED by popular vote in Maine, Maryland and Washington!

This is the first time any pro-gay marriage propositions have passed by popular vote in the USA.

YES YES YES!

Rick Jacobs, founder and chair of the Courage Campaign, released this heartwarming statement:

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