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We're Not Going To Lie: This Cheeto Looks Like A Dude Masturbating

Filed under: Wacky, Tacky & TrueSilly!Food

cheeto man masturbating tiny cheese dong 1

There's no way around it.

This is the most shocking revelation to ever come from a bag of Cheetos, and it's coming hard: someone found a Cheeto that looks like a man, standing up, masturbating his tiny Cheeto dong.

No joke.

Here's the NSFW pic:

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Miley Cyrus Is Masturbating In Her New Music Video Clip! See It HERE!

Filed under: Music MinuteMiley CyrusBilly Ray CyrusSex

Look away, Billy Ray!

This was meant for everyone except your eyes only!

Miley Cyrus has done some pretty outrageous things in the last year, but this has to be up there near the top!

The 21-year-old singer has released another clip from her Adore You video, and she is masturbating in it.

See, we told you it was sex tape-y!!!

There's really not much more to say except, oh Miley!

Ch-ch-check out the clip (above)!

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Anna Kendrick MASTURBATES To Ryan Gosling… In The Movie Theater!

Filed under: Silly!Ryan GoslingAnna Kendrick

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WELCOME TO THE BEST NEWS OF YOUR DAY!

Seemingly innocent Anna Kendrick made a shocking confession on Monday — she masturbates. to Ryan Gosling… in the movie theater!!!

QUICK! Bubble wrap your kids right this second!

The Pitch Perfect starlet just can't help it! And really, who can??

But clearly someone told her it was an etiquette no-no as she tweeted:

HA!!!

Ooo gurl we feel ya!

Every time we see the Godling, it's too hard to contain ourselves! Did you know he

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WTF?! Watch Marc Jacobs' Provocative Masturbating Sunglasses Ad Here!

Is…that what we think it is????

Marc Jacobs' new sunglasses ad is certainly turning, er, heads!

In the commercial (above), a guy is seen standing in the park jerking his arm up and down. Since we can only see the back of him, it's safe to assume that he's doing something pret-ty naughty…. or is he?

Is he pulling a George Michael or are we misinterpreting things?? Watch the ad (above) and see for yourself!

This is a sunglasses ad, right??

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That Time Oprah Almost Played A Masturbating Maid In The Paperboy

Precious director Lee Daniels' scored a big thumbs up from us by casting Zac Efron to dance around in his underwear in The Paperboy, but it turns out he wanted another one of our favorite people to star as well — Oprah Winfrey!

And if he got his way, she would been MASTURBATING on the big screen for all to see!

The director recently revealed that he originally asked the Big O to play the part of Anita the maid, but after she turned it down, he cast Macy Gray instead.

While it would have been VERY inneresting to see Oprah in the role because it required her to masturbate on the floor during a scene, Daniels admitted the singer was "the right choice after all" and explained:

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Bam Margera's Home Was Broken Into By A Naked, Masturbating Burglar Chick!

Bam Margera woke up from a wet dream on Thursday night only to find himself in a male erotic fantasy!

The Jackass star was stirred from his slumber by a NAKED 24-year-old woman kissing him.

While some men might be BEGGING for this kind of attention, he tossed the friendly intruder to the floor of his West Chester mansion and called the cops.

Here's where it gets really hot weird though…

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Teacher Charged With Masturbating Behind Podium During Class

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Ugh.

A Chicago teacher, 75-year-old Paul LaDuke, was charged with a felony for masturbating behind a podium during class.

A student told another teacher that she thought he was doing some sort of lewd conduct behind the podium. When the teacher notified administration, LaDuke was fired on Friday and school officials called police. He was then arrested after detectives interviewed several students and has since been charged with sexual exploitation of a child.

What's even worse is that police say that the math teacher was engaging in this type of behavior for over a decade!! After his arrest, he had written a note, admitting that he fantasized about female students while masturbating in class for the pas 10 years.

He's currently being held on $40,000 bond. His defense attorney states that he has dementia, which in our opinion, is still not an excuse for this type of behavior to be allowed in school - FOR TEN YEARS.

So gross. The student who notified another teacher should be applauded for stepping forward.

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