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Move Aside 50 Shades! Dinosaur Erotica Is Real And It's T-Sexy!

Dinosaur erotic is not only real but well reviewed??

Make room, Christian Grey and Anastasia Steele!

T-Rex coming through! And he's bringing his little pal, Velociraptor, too!

In case you're completely over whips, paddles, and Red Rooms of Pain, we have the perfect alternative for you, and it includes DINOSAURS. We'd like to imagine it's just Jurassic Park fan fic involving a lot of interesting sex positions with Jeff Goldblum, but alas, it's actual real erotica involving the extinct creators…

A short erotica story, named Taken By The T-Rex, by co-authors Christie Sims and Alara Branwen, have been taking the "monster sex" section of erotica by storm. (And yes, that's a real thing!)

And, in case you're not convinced yet, just look at some of the very positive reviews on Amazon! It's like garden feast for a Brachiosaurus! You know, cuz they're herbivores, and all.

One review even succinctly says the story was "not relatable," however very "accurate":

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Taken by the Pterodactyl Dinosaur EroticaT-Rex Troubles Dinosaur EroticaRavished by the Triceratops Dinosaur Erotica

Swimmer Sets Record With 15-Foot Shark Chasing Her!!

Filed under: Tech TalkSwimmingSharkAmazing

A swimmer set a record while a 15-foot tiger shark was tailing her!!

Meredith Novack is the first woman to swim the almost 20-mile round trip between the Hawaiian islands of Lanai and Maui.

Not only did she complete the swim, but she did it 44 minutes faster than the men's record!!

Oh, and she was being tailed by a 15-foot tiger shark the whole time!!!

The 37-year-old had no idea the monster was right behind her… because her crew didn't tell her!!

Though she was apparently glad they said nothing. She wanted to concentrate on the swim, and, besides, she felt protected because of her Shark Shield!!

What's Shark Shield? Their website defines it as:

"Two electrodes that emit electric waves, creating an elliptical-shaped field around a swimmer or diver."

This electrical field shield really bugs sharks and forces them to keep their distance.

Thank goodness for her Shark Shield or else that 15-footer might've had himself a tasty swimmer snack!

Though maybe if she knew that shark was behind her, she would've knocked another few minutes off that record! LOLz!

[Image via Public Domain.]

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Charlie Sheen Risks His Life On Another Monster Animal Hunt!

Filed under: Charlie SheenFunnyCrazzzzy

Charlie Sheen went on another monster hunt, this time to Alaska to find an otter man!!

Charlie Sheen is just the right amount of rich and crazy to become a successful monster hunter.

In fact, he's a monster hunting MaSheen!!

We previously mentioned he randomly decided to go to Scotland one day to hunt for Nessie!

Now, he's embarked on another quest… the hunt for a half-man, half-otter in Alaska!

He flew to Sitka on his private jet last week, looking for Kushtaka, or the "land otter man."

The legend started among natives of Southeastern Alaska and is described by Charlie as:

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Penn State Paying HUGE Amount To Sandusky Victims!

Filed under: Icky Icky PooZportzLegal MattersFootball

penn state jerry sandusky victim payment settle 60 million

Jerry Sandusky's victims deserve every penny of the huge payment coming their way from an approval that the Penn State board of trustees has authorized.

They'll be getting roughly $60 million dollars — though we bet every one of them would give it up to have not been molested by such a monster, and to not have had those around him cover it up because football was deemed more important than young lives.

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CVS Boycotting Rolling Stone Boston Bomber Cover Issue!!

rolling stone dzhokhar tsarnaev cvs cover ban boycott

If you didn't know, it was announced that Rolling Stone's next cover is going to feature Dzhokhar Tsarnaev, who was one of two awful people who thought it was a good and okay thing to set off bombs at the finish line of the Boston Marathon. As a shocker to no one, people are PISSED about it!

Not only are people calling for a boycott of the issue (and the magazine as a whole), but we're hearing that even some businesses are refusing to carry it — INCLUDING CVS!

That's major! The company released the following statement:

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Winona Ryder Dyes Hair White & Disses Gwyneth Paltrow Because Of… Johnny Depp?

winona ryder angry hermit gwyneth paltrow johnny depp dyed white hair national enquirer

Skeptics beware, because this story is one tough sell!!!

When she's not stealing everything in sight — and it's been a few years now, c'mon — Winona Ryder is usually one of the planet's sweetest souls!

The National Enquirer begs to differ! They say the 41-year-old actress recently turned into an absolute MONSTER!

Apparently the Reality Bites star is biting into Gwyneth Patlrow's good name!!

They say Ms. Ryder is angry because Gwyn supposedly talked trash about her in an online blog, which only added insult to injury over the fact that Winona didn't land the role 1998's Shakespeare in Love!!!

What has her the MOST enraged, however, is

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Giant Monster Mosquitoes Attack Florida!!

Filed under: Scary!InsectsBugs

It's attack of the mega mosquitos!!!

In Florida, this summer, things are going to get pretty scary!!

Mosquitoes up to 20 times the size of a normal 'squito, will be terrorizing the state!

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