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Another Rare Sea Animal Washes Up On California Shores! This Time It's A Saber-Toothed Whale!!

Filed under: Science!Whales

Saber-toothed whale washes up on California shore!

Does anyone else think this thing bears a striking resemblance to the monster in Tremors?

A rare saber-toothed whale, named the Stejneger’s beaked whale (it's official name), has washed up on the sandy shores of Venice Beach, California!

Before being loaded up in this flatbed truck and taken away for a necropsy (as you can see in the pic above), the 15-foot-long, 2,000-pound beast was found dead about 1,000 miles away from its natural Alaskan habitat.

Cause of death is unknown, but the whale had several cookie-cutter shark bites in it.

They believe the whale was most likely alive when it washed up.

So sad it died by beaching.

One washing up this far south, in this level of of preservation is pretty much unheard of so at least science can learn a lot from it!

Still sad though… poor whale…

The real question is… what's going on with all these rare sea animals washing up on California shores?? Did you SEE the 18-foot Oarfish found last week???

[Image via Nick Fash/Heal the Bay.]

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Rihanna Is A Monster On Eminem’s New Album!

Filed under: RihannaMusic MinuteEminem

riri

Rihanna’s puzzling tweet has been solved!

You'll recall that last month, Rih took to her beloved Twitter to tantalize her fans with a "monster collaboration", saying:

Well, we just found out that the artist she recorded that hook for was in fact…

Eminem!!

The two artists have worked together in the past with their hit Love The Way You Lie, so it's no surprise that the duo decided to work together again for the Berzerk singer's new album.

Late Thursday night, Eminem sent out this tweet revealing his album track listing for The Marshall Mathers LP 2:

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Kidnapper Ariel Castro Might NOT Have Committed Suicide! Auto-Erotic Asphyxiation Suggested!

Filed under: Icky Icky PooLegal MattersSexScary!

ariel castro auto erotic asphyxiation not suicide

This… is news we didn't expect to land our eyes on today!

Ariel Castro, the monster that raped and held captive three young women for over a decade, might NOT have died by committing suicide! Instead, the state is looking into whether or not it was auto-erotic asphyxiation. You know, cutting off your air flow to achieve a heightened orgasm.

In other words, choking yourself while masturbating.

The state ALSO said two guards falsified

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Move Aside 50 Shades! Dinosaur Erotica Is Real And It's T-Sexy!

Dinosaur erotic is not only real but well reviewed??

Make room, Christian Grey and Anastasia Steele!

T-Rex coming through! And he's bringing his little pal, Velociraptor, too!

In case you're completely over whips, paddles, and Red Rooms of Pain, we have the perfect alternative for you, and it includes DINOSAURS. We'd like to imagine it's just Jurassic Park fan fic involving a lot of interesting sex positions with Jeff Goldblum, but alas, it's actual real erotica involving the extinct creators…

A short erotica story, named Taken By The T-Rex, by co-authors Christie Sims and Alara Branwen, have been taking the "monster sex" section of erotica by storm. (And yes, that's a real thing!)

And, in case you're not convinced yet, just look at some of the very positive reviews on Amazon! It's like garden feast for a Brachiosaurus! You know, cuz they're herbivores, and all.

One review even succinctly says the story was "not relatable," however very "accurate":

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Swimmer Sets Record With 15-Foot Shark Chasing Her!!

Filed under: Tech TalkSwimmingSharkAmazing

A swimmer set a record while a 15-foot tiger shark was tailing her!!

Meredith Novack is the first woman to swim the almost 20-mile round trip between the Hawaiian islands of Lanai and Maui.

Not only did she complete the swim, but she did it 44 minutes faster than the men's record!!

Oh, and she was being tailed by a 15-foot tiger shark the whole time!!!

The 37-year-old had no idea the monster was right behind her… because her crew didn't tell her!!

Though she was apparently glad they said nothing. She wanted to concentrate on the swim, and, besides, she felt protected because of her Shark Shield!!

What's Shark Shield? Their website defines it as:

"Two electrodes that emit electric waves, creating an elliptical-shaped field around a swimmer or diver."

This electrical field shield really bugs sharks and forces them to keep their distance.

Thank goodness for her Shark Shield or else that 15-footer might've had himself a tasty swimmer snack!

Though maybe if she knew that shark was behind her, she would've knocked another few minutes off that record! LOLz!

[Image via Public Domain.]

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Charlie Sheen Risks His Life On Another Monster Animal Hunt!

Filed under: Charlie SheenFunnyCrazzzzy

Charlie Sheen went on another monster hunt, this time to Alaska to find an otter man!!

Charlie Sheen is just the right amount of rich and crazy to become a successful monster hunter.

In fact, he's a monster hunting MaSheen!!

We previously mentioned he randomly decided to go to Scotland one day to hunt for Nessie!

Now, he's embarked on another quest… the hunt for a half-man, half-otter in Alaska!

He flew to Sitka on his private jet last week, looking for Kushtaka, or the "land otter man."

The legend started among natives of Southeastern Alaska and is described by Charlie as:

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Penn State Paying HUGE Amount To Sandusky Victims!

Filed under: Icky Icky PooZportzLegal MattersFootball

penn state jerry sandusky victim payment settle 60 million

Jerry Sandusky's victims deserve every penny of the huge payment coming their way from an approval that the Penn State board of trustees has authorized.

They'll be getting roughly $60 million dollars — though we bet every one of them would give it up to have not been molested by such a monster, and to not have had those around him cover it up because football was deemed more important than young lives.

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