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Johnny Depp Says He Had To Miss Mortdecai's Tokyo Press Conference Because Of A Chupacabra Attack — Yes, This Really Did Happen!

Filed under: Film FlickersJohnny Depp

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If there's one global issue that we all need to face right now, it's not global warming. No, it's the sudden and vicious attacks perpetrated by the nightmarish mythical beast known as… the Chupacabra.

Johnny Depp reportedly survived such an attack, a feat as rare as a sighting of the "goat-sucker," which is the literal translation of… the Chupacabra.

Sure, there's a chance he was kidding about the assault, but would you take such a chance? No, of course you wouldn't, you Chupacabra-fearing mortal.

Apparently, Johnny missed a press conference for the movie Mortdecai in Tokyo on Monday, and his excuse reason for missing it was as legendary as the bear-sized, spiny creature:

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Olivia Munn Channels Morticia Addams At The Mortdecai Los Angeles Premiere!

Olivia Munn goes dark at the Los Angeles premeire of Mortdecai!

Olivia Munn is no stranger to the red carpet.

Which is why we were a little surprised to see that she would don such a simple look at the Mortdecai premiere in El Lay on Wednesday night!

The actress chose to rock a black Ralph Rucci gown featuring sheer panels to showcase plenty of cleavage. It was of course far from plain, but paired with her curled locks?

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Gwyneth Paltrow’s Attempt At Jolie Legging Falls Flat At The Mortdecai Premiere In Los Angeles!

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It's okay, Gwennie. Not everyone can pull off Angelina Jolie leg like Angelina Jolie!

Because even though Gwyneth Paltrow gave the hawt look her best shot at the Mortdecai premiere in Los Angeles on Wednesday, the shape of her dress simply made what should've been a "wow" moment fall flat.

The 42-year-old actress wore a floor-length Lanvin gown that revealed her thighs and sides, but something about the way the back of the frock was draped over the waist-cinching belt instead of under it wasn't super flattering on Gwyneth's enviable frame.

[ Related: Gwyneth Flaunts Her Bikini Body At The Beach! ]

However, Miz Paltrow's heavier-than-usual makeup, statement David Webb jewelry, and seXXXy strappy Lanvin sandals were totally on point!

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Johnny Depp And Amber Heard Are The Happiest Couple EVER At The Mortdecai Premiere In London

Amber and Johnny look ecstatic at Mortdecai premiere.

Look at those happy smiles!

Maybe they even had sex in the limo on the way over!

We kid, we kid.

But seriously Johnny Depp and Amber Heard looked incredibly in love at the Mortdecai premiere in London on Monday.

[ Video: Johnny Explains How Barbie Dolls Help His Acting Process ]

They also made for an incredibly handsome couple with both of them in suits! Johnny's was gray and worn with a burgundy shirt, black tie, and deep red pocket square.

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Johnny Depp Is Dapper And Hilarious In The Second Mortdecai Trailer! That Mustache Is Everything!

Filed under: News

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Johnny Depp is looking super dapper and poised to take all your laughter in the new trailer for Mortdecai!!!

Depp plays a English art dealer named Charles Mortdecai, and the flick is based on a series of comedy/thriller novels! Depp seems like a perfect fit, to be honest!

And if this movie does well… well, they have three other books to jack storylines from for more, more, more!!!

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