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Piers Morgan Accuses Heather Mills Of Hacking Into Paul McCartney's Phone!

Well, we're not gonna lie - this wouldn't surprise us in the LEAST!

During his appearance last night

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Nobody Wants Mucca!

Filed under: Heather Mills

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Ha! Is anyone actually surprised by this?!

The monstrous Heather Mills had been chosen to appear as a - get THIS - motivational speaker at a charity dinner, but was eventually CANNED because organizers couldn't sell even a third of the 300 tickets!

How mortifying, Mucca!

A source explains:

"We sold just over 100 tickets but it wasn't enough to break even and as we got nearer to the event, the cancellation charges would be an issue so we made the decision to cancel now. Heather Mills was going to talk about her life and the challenges she's faced and also have a question-and-answer session at the end. She's raised a lot of money for charity and I'm sure it would have been very interesting. The people who have booked will have been very disappointed and we're sorry to let down people who wanted to support us. We don't take these decisions lightly."

Let's be real - the only people who even bought tickets to that shiz probably only did because they were hoping that the motivational speech would segue into a seminar on how to leech on to rich rock stars and take all of their money!

Better luck next time, bitch!

Bwa ha ha ha!

[Image via WENN.]

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Mucca's Sexual Discrimination Case Dismissed!

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Evil wins again.

The British courts have dismissed an unfair dismissal and sexual discrimination case against Heather Mills that was filed by her former nanny!

Sara Tumble had claimed that Mills had demoted her to a housekeeper after she took her maternity leave, but Mills claims Tumble was just upset because her employer wouldn't pay for her boob job!

Her spokesperson says:

"Heather is delighted with the decision of the Employment Tribunal that has dismissed all of Sara Trumble's claims. Heather was always a very fair and generous employer to Sara and is very pleased that this has been confirmed by Judge Vowles and the tribunal members unanimously in judgment."

Lucky break, Mucca!

[Image via WENN.]

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Say It Ain't So! More Spawn For Mucca?!

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HOrrific!

It's bad enough that there's already a child in the world that has to call that hack 'Mom' - is she really going to terrorize another one?!

Evil Heather Mills is reportedly looking into adoption!!

She confirms:

"I wouldn't have another child because the world is already too overpopulated. But I might adopt one."

We'd suggest she get a puppy, but NO living thing deserves that kind of punishment!

The next time you're feeling especially maternal, how about you go dig up one of Beatrice's old cabbage patch kids, bb?!

We think you've done quite ENOUGH 'child-rearing!'

[Image via WENN.]

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Mucca Has A Heart Of Gold, She Tells A UK Court

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She speaks!

We reported earlier that Heather Mills is currently in court duking it out with her former nanny, Sara Trumble, who claims the monster de-moted her to a housekeeper when she requested time off to take care of her own child!

clASSy!

Of course, Mucca took the stand and gave everyone a nice, hearty laugh when she - SHOCKER - alleged that she is an absolute delight to work for and Trumble just wants her tainted, gold-digging hard-earned money!

Says Mucca:

"I treated Sara like my daughter, because she often said her mum was cold and distant. I spent much of my time consoling her especially as she was having relationship problems. She is very motivated by money, this seems to be her motive in making a claim. I suspect she became aggrieved because I declined to pay for her breast enlargement surgery. None of my staff have had any qualifications. I like taking people on and making them better themselves. As is my history of being overly helpful Heather."

HA.

The only way Heather Mills is overly helpful is if we feel the need to gouge our eyes out and need some last minute motivation!!

Evil hack.

[Image via WENN.]

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What Do You Mean Heather Mills Is A Bitch??

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Shocker.

Heather Mills' former nanny has filed a lawsuit against her on the grounds of sex discrimination and unfair dismissal!

Sara Trumble was apparently hired in 2004 to watch over Mills' daughter Beatrice, but when she had a daughter of her own, Mucca demoted her to a full-time house keeper because she requested maternity leave - and ANNOUNCED HER DISMISSAL to her in front of the entire staff!

Trumble also claims Mills ordered her to tell film crews about "how wonderful she was!"

HA!

Mucca is expected to testify her side tomorrow - we're sure it's going to bring all kinds of bitchy!

What do U think?? Team Nanny or Team Mucca???

[Image via WENN.]

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Fill In The Blank

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Heather Mills is conducting a cooking demonstration outside of a shopping center in Brighton, England, because ________________.

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