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Girls With Low Self-Esteem: Jennifer Love Hewitt Edition

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Now that Jennifer Love Desperate and that crypt-keeper Jamie Kennedy have ended their beautiful romance, girlfriend is freaking out over the devastating realization that she is SINGLE and trying to promote a self-help book on relationships, The Day I Shot Cupid: Hello, My Name is Jennifer Love Hewitt and I'm a Desperate Hack Love-aholic!!

HA. We love cruel irony.

The saddest girl in the entire world says:

"Back in the shark tank! I never said in the book that I knew how to be in the perfect relationship. I say in my book I want to be the readers' kind spirit out in the dating world. And now, more than ever, I am. I don't like to go out to clubs and party. I'm not into 'Let's go out with one guy on a Monday and another guy on a Wednesday' – that's just not me. I'm a relationship kind of girl. I like a twosome. Some people get excited about being single. I don't."

We NOTICED. You'll date just about ANYTHING to avoid having to sleep alone at night, won't you??

HOWEVER, you can't deny that clutching your body pillow tonight will be a lot more comfortable than that mutant Kennedy!

Desperate is also wants us all to be comforted by how mature she and her ex are while they work together on her SHITEOUS show Ghost Whisperer.

"We've parted as friends. There's no anger, there's no upset, there's no enemies. It's been totally fine. It's really a testament to who he is and to who I am. We're both grown-ups."

HA. Yeah, we're sure it's sooo amicable.

Who wants to place bets on how long it takes before his character is horribly and violently killed off?

Girlfriend closes with:

"I want to be an independent woman who falls in love, finds a great partner for her lifetime, has kids and kind of does it all. I'd like to have it all."

Who else thinks that she, the Simpleton, and MANiston need to form a knitting circle??

They can all talk about their overbearing need to find self-worth and validation from douchebags!! Or all the freaky shiz John Mayer tried to make them do in bed!!

Bwa ha ha.

[Image via WENN.]

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