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Kim Kardashian Skipping Birthday Sex Sex Sex Sex With Kanye West For… An iPhone?

Filed under: Music MinuteParty Poppin'

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Kim Kardashian turns 32 next month and Kanye West must figure out what to get the girl who literally has everything!

He might be stressing out but she thinks her beau can handle it!

At a Midori Makeover event on Tuesday, Kim said:

"See the thing is, my boyfriend, he has such good taste that I don't need to [tell him]… Before I would be like, 'OK, this is what I want.'"

Good taste, eh? We saw what Kanye got 2 Chainz for his birthday and we aren't so sure…

What if Ye' threw you the world's BIGGEST b-day bash?

There could be a six-layer light chocolate cake shaped like your booty! And a jacuzzi filled with lobster! And the surviving Beatles could play!!

It would be like an episode of My Super Sweet Sixteen but double the cray!

Which makes perfect sense, because 32 is double 16! LOLz!!

Kim admitted:

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The Madness Continues! Check Out This Kid's BAR MITZVAH Video!

Okay, wow. Just wow.

For as much as we worship Rebecca Black and the Ark Music Factory for blessing us with the gift that is Friday, it seems that they may have inadvertently opened a Pandora's Box of tween-sprinkled, auto-tuned despair that will plague our lives forever.

Check out the music video - and yes, it's actually a music video - for Zachary Freiman's new instant classic, I'm Zack! (above)!

From what we can gather, Zack literally put every episode of My Super Sweet 16 to shame, because his parents had HIS OWN SONG AND MUSIC VIDEO commissioned in honor of his Bar Mitzvah by some guy named Scott Freiman.

And yes, if the song haunts you the way some of the imagery in this thing already has for us, it's available for download on iTunes, with all of the proceeds going to Temple Beth Abraham in Tarrytown, New York!

In all sincerity, there is no 13 year old on the planet who wouldn't shiz his pants over getting his own song and music video as a Bar Mitvah gift, and he knows how to amp the ferocity up pretty high, so we'll give him props for that! Especially because it feels like just that - a fun gift, not a legitimate stab at a career!

However, this trend of parents buying their children YouTube noteriety via low-budget abominations of music videos is really starting to concern us.

Hopefully this fad will die out just as quickly as Tamagotchis or Beanie Babies did! Fingers crossed!

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