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Murderer Joran Van Der Sloot Knocked Up A Girl During A Conjugal Visit!

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Congratulations, convicted murderer! We can't wait for you to raise kids!

Pardon us if we're feeling sarcastic todayM but we CANNOT believe Joran Van der Sloot will bring children into this world!

Apparently, a mystery woman going by the name of "Leidi" visited his jail four months ago and filled her belly with his child! At least that's the story Joran is confirming!

The admitted

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Murderer Joran Van Der Sloot Having A Ball In His Peruvian Prison

Filed under: Icky Icky PooLegal Matters

Joran van der Sloot Still Single And Ready To Mingle In Peruvian Jail Natalee Holloway

Joran van der Sloot is a cold-blooded killer.

He remains the primary suspect in Natalee Holloway's 2005 disappearance.

And he pled guilty to murdering Stephany Tatiana Flores Ramírez in 2010, for which he's currently serving a 28 year sentence in a high-security Peruvian prison.

But, hey, why should he let that stop him from having a good time??

While it's looking like the rumors of his engagement were part of some practical joke he was playing, sources close to the South American prison are reporting that Joran is really enjoying his time in lock-up.

His attorney Aldo Cotrina concurs. He said:

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Natalee Holloway Murder Suspect Engaged To Marry

Joran Van der Sloot Getting Married Peru Natalee Holloway

We guess there really is a match out there for everyone!!

Joran Van der Sloot, who killed at least one woman and is heavily suspected of being responsible for Natalee Holloway's tragic 2005 disappearance, is tying the knot.

And, no, we aren't talking about a hangman's noose. Joran is getting married.

Joran currently resides in a Lima prison because of the crimes he committed but it seems even a jail cell couldn't stop him from finding true love.

Did he have a profile on Match.com or what?

Hmmm.

We're perplexed as

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The Process To Extradite Joran Van Der Sloot From Peru Has Begun!

Filed under: Icky Icky PooLegal Matters

Joran van der Sloot extradition begins

It's about time!

Joran van der Sloot, the man who has been found guilty in Peru for the murder of Stephany Flores and main suspect in the disappearance of Natalee Holloway, may finally be getting the punishment he deserves from the U.S. justice system.

Sources are reporting that the process to extradite the criminal from Peruvian prison has begun and authorities hope to bring him to trial for charges of extortion and wire fraud from the Holloway case.

The only thing holding up his release to the United States is

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Joran Van Der Sloot Appealing Sentence, Plans On Getting Out Of Jail In Five Years, UGH!!

joran van der sloot

We really hope this doesn't happen!!

Okay, so get this garbage. The man who admitted to the murder of Stephany Flores doesn't feel well in jail. Aww, poor him..

According to an inside source, Joran van der Sloot is appealing his sentence and hoping to be a free man on parole in five years.

Apparently

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Natalee Holloway Is Legally Declared Dead

Filed under: Legal MattersR.I.P.Sad Sad

Natalee Holloway dead

The case still isn't closed, but sadly, it appears as if Natalee Holloway is dead after being missing for over 6 years.

Judge Alan King legally declared the teenager, who went missing during a high school graduation trip to Aruba in 2005, to be deceased on Thursday.

Dave Holloway, Natalee's father, made the request back in September in order to settle her estate and free up funds set aside for her education. Beth Holloway opposed the request, but Thursday was the deadline the judge had set for evidence to be presented that shows Natalee did not die on that fateful trip.

Unfortunately,

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Joran Van der Sloot FINALLY Pleads Guilty!!

Filed under: Icky Icky PooLegal Matters

joran van der sloot

UGH, and the rest is just enough to make us wanna vomit!!

After asking for more time to consider his plea (as if that didn't scream manipulative enough), Joran Van der Sloot has finally pleaded guilty in the case of Stephany Flores' murder.

As much of a slimeball as he is, he's not exactly stupid. He's pulling the "I'm so sorry, I feel so bad, bla bla bla" card now in hopes of mercy.

He's begging for

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