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Are WABBITS The Reason Neanderthals Went Extinct?

Filed under: Science!Rabbits

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Neanderthals are now-extinct. Which is probably a good thing! We doubt they'd be able to drive cars very well with their big feet!

But the question of how they became extinct is still a pivotal question for scientists!

And one researcher thinks he may have found one part of what caused that extinction - rabbits!

Here's what the researcher said:

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Scientists Need 'Adventurous Female Human' To Give Birth To Neanderthal Baby!!

Filed under: Tech TalkPregnancy Talk

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The science community is all abuzz over the prospect of cloning a neanderthal.

Harvard professor George Church says that the first step of decoding the neanderthal genome is already done, and it may be possible to clone a neanderthal baby in the near future!

But scientists wouldn't be able to do it alone! Church says:

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Ozzy Osbourne Is a Neanderthal…And We DON'T Mean That As An Insult

Filed under: DrugsWacky, Tacky & TrueTech Talk

ozzy osbourne has neanderthal in his dna

We know that Ozzy Osbourne was the lead singer of Black Sabbath. We know that he bit the head off a bat. We know he's referred to as the "Prince of Darkness."

We did NOT know that Ozzy is a man of science.

Ozzy Osbourne is one of the only people in the world who's had his entire genetic code deciphered!

According to researchers at Knome, a company which specializes in analysis of human genomes, Ozzy's blood sample reveals that he has inherited some DNA from the extinct race of Neanderthals.

Aside from his Neanderthal background, Ozzy is also a distant relative of Russian tsar Nicholas II, King George I, and outlaw Jesse James.

Here's what Ozzy has said about his reasoning for getting his DNA analyzed:

"Given the swimming pools of booze I've guzzled over the years–not to mention all of the cocaine, morphine, sleeping pills, cough syrup, LSD, Rohypnol…you name it–there's really no plausible medical reason why I should still be alive."

"Maybe my DNA could say why."

Pretty inneresting stuff. We wonder what would come up if we got OUR DNA analyzed!

[Image via WENN.]

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Crissy Had One Night Stand With A Waitress, Babymomma To His Child

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And out popped a baby!

It's been revealed that Cristiano Ronaldo's baby momma is an unnamed American waitress whom he had a one-night stand with while visiting El Lay.

The footballer used his dashingly romantic charms to seduce the woman in to having sex with him by telling her, "you, me, f***, f***," then drew a heart on a misted window and said "me, you, kiss."

What a charmer! How on earth could a woman resist such an alluring come-on??

"That's typical Ronnie - he pretends his English is terrible when it suits him, and he comes straight to the point. It was just yet another one-night stand and Ronnie assumed he would never see her again," said one of Cristiano's friends.

Oh, apparently "typical Ronnie" means he can act like an arrogant neanderthal to "sweet talk" a woman!

And to make things even crazier, Crissy has given his baby momma £10million to keep her mouth shut and plans on raising the baby by himself. In fact, he doesn't even want to tell Ronaldo Jr. who his mother is until he turns 18!

What a clASSy guy!!

[Image via WENN.]

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